Page 18 of A Taste of Grace

Promises

“It’s disrespectful to play with my emotions like this.” Grace placed her hands on her hips.

I took my hands in Grace’s and kissed her inner wrists one by one. I lingered on her right wrist a little longer than the left.

“I’m not playing with you, Grace. I think about you nonstop.”

“Infatuation is not a good enough reason for me to marry you.”

“It’s more than that. Hannah and Esther adore you and want you to be their mother. Their happiness matters to me. It is no accident that you dropped into their lives…in our lives.” I corrected myself.

“Whether you marry me now or five years from now, you’re meant to be my wife. I feel it in my soul.”

Grace closed her eyes and steadied herself with her forearms. When she opened them, her eyes were full of tears.

“I’ve been so alone since my mother died.”

“My family can value and support you. We can give you the fresh start you need.”

“If you’re playing with me, I’m going to curse you out so thoroughly you’ll never toy with the heart of a single woman again. I don’t care if you’re a pastor.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that this impromptu proposal makes no sense but makes sense at the same time. I’ve heard of arranged marriages where people eventually fall in love. They’re becoming more common. I also appreciate the money you’re offering as compensation.”

“And?”

“I want the best for Hannah and Esther. They need the care of someone who sees them for who they are—inquisitive, smart, precocious little girls. You’ve done a wonderful job raising them.”

“Thank you.” I smiled and kissed her on the cheek, appreciative of her kind words.

“But today, I saw the power of God in and on you. You’re a good man who can bring me peace and stability…maybe love. If you’re offering me access to your precious daughters and to you so humbly and sincerely, I’m willing to accept your proposal…for now.”

My spirit soared. I stepped back and rubbed my hands together rapidly, my eyes darting around as I thought about next steps.

“Should I ask someone for your hand in marriage? I know your parents have passed, but I still want to be respectful.”

Grace rested her hand on my arm.

“As long as you consulted with God and are serious about being faithful and kind to me, I’m good. But what about the girls? What will they say?

“I don’t think they’ll oppose since they called you Mommy the first time they met you.”

“I hope you’re right. Are we crazy?”

I intertwined my fingers with Grace’s and rested my forehead against hers.

“No. We’re taking a leap of faith.”

She smiled and took a big breath.

“Okay. Then let’s tell the family about our engagement.”

“She said yes, Mama,” I said the words calmly as Grace and I walked back into the kitchen.

My mother shrieked and rushed toward Grace, almost knocking her down before giving her one of her tight, over-the-top hugs that would most likely be the norm now that Grace agreed to become my wife.

She cupped Grace’s cheeks and kissed each of them as the girls ran toward her and tugged the bottom of her apron.

Mama still hadn’t paid any attention to me.

“I’ve been waiting for my child to be with someone who would care for him the right way. Thank God for answered prayer.” She pressed her hands in a prayer position and hugged Grace tightly.

Esther ran toward me with a confused look.

“Daddy, why is Maw Maw so happy?”

I squatted and signaled for Hannah and Esther to come my way.

“Ms. Grace is going to be my new wife and your Mommy.”

Like my mother, the girls screamed and jumped up and down. They almost pushed me down and cut between Mama and Grace, wrapping their arms around Grace’s waist.

“Mommy Grace! I told you.” Esther squeezed Grace harder and closed her little eyes, rocking her body back and forth as Grace held her shoulders with her hands.

“Hold on, everyone. Give me a minute to take all this in.” She raised her arms.

I rushed to Grace’s side and gently pulled the girls from her.

“Everyone, please give Grace space. She’s not going anywhere, right?” I checked her face to confirm that we didn’t overwhelm her with our excitement.

“Right. Let’s just get through dinner and go from there. Everything smells so good.”

When she peered into the kitchen, Mama took her by the hand.

“It is. I taught my son how to cook, but he has little interest in showcasing his skills. Now, I can share my recipes with my daughter-in-love-to-be.”

I smiled, feeling in my heart that Grace wasn’t going to be the kind of woman to sit around the house cooking meals and waiting for us to come home. She was a former corporate baddie who chose to be a recluse. I hoped that, when we married, the spark of who she used to be would ignite.

As a pastor, I knew that was a big gamble to hope she would change, especially since I advised those I counseled that you got what you married when you tied the knot. Something in me was sure that Grace would blossom as a wife. I couldn’t wait to find out.

After dinner, Grace and I swung on the wooden Amish swing on the wide front porch, holding hands.

True to her word, Mama took the girls to the park about half a mile from my home after dinner, leaving Grace and me alone.

The girls almost bounced off the walls with excitement as they discussed how they would be flower girls in our wedding a month from now.

As the chains securing the swing to the hooks in the porch’s ceiling creaked in a repetitive rhythm, I let my mind wander.

Grace was a sexy woman who reminded me how long I’d been celibate.

When she kissed me and felt me up, a surge of desire bubbled up, reminding me that, by marrying her, I was getting more than a mother figure for Hannah and Esther.

Grace would be the woman I would be in covenant with, for better or for worse, in good and bad times.

Over time, I would share secrets with her that no one but God knew.

Although I was married to Madeline for almost five years, my moments of intimacy with Grace were deeper than any I experienced with my ex.

Something in me never rested around Madeline.

Even in our sporadic times of joy, I was on guard.

That was the Holy Spirit trying to warn me about her, but I was too caught up in coochie, a bubble butt, and a smile to listen to that inner voice.

I turned toward Grace, who stared at the vast farmland across the street from my house.

As far as the eye could see, soybeans and peanuts blew in the wind.

Since we lived on a secluded back road, anyone who pulled into my driveway had to have a reason to visit.

For that reason, this private moment felt sacred, as if God gave Grace and me time to bask in His glory and in the comfort of each other.

I shifted my eyes to Grace’s profile. Her high cheekbones and heart-shaped lips alluded to how beautiful she must have been as a child.

With those deep dimples and slightly mischievous eyes, I imagined her parents loving and spoiling her so much.

No wonder she missed them. She was made to be loved and adored.

Anyone who didn’t understand that was a fool.

“God has protected you, Grace.” The words left my mouth before I could overthink them.

She tore her eyes from the scene in front of her and furrowed her brow, giving me a cute, inquisitive look that made me wonder if any children we had together would have that same expression.

“Thank you for saying that. You’re right. He has kept me in the palm of His hand. I’m grateful for that.” She squeezed my hand and held it firmly.

The tenderness in her eyes matched the peace I felt in my heart.

I didn’t need a background check to confirm that Grace was trustworthy, kind, and honest. Although she wasn’t a holy roller, my spirit could tell she loved God and goodness and that she tried to do right by people.

Her character was solid, and like the sermon I gave earlier, I could trust her.

Although our courtship would last thirty days, I believed that God’s ways were higher than mine.

He knew what I needed, even if I had to pay for it.

Grace gave me hope for the future and more days like this, where I could rest and rejuvenate with a woman whose purity made me want to draw closer to her in ways I couldn’t explain.

The phone in my pocket rang. I put it on speaker.

“Hi, Aunt Nita.”

“Hello, Nephew. How was dinner?”

Grace’s smile matched mine when Nita’s voice rang through the phone.

“A little unusual, but your timing is perfect. Grace is here with me, and we have some news to share.”

“Hi, Grace! It was good seeing you at church this morning. You rushed out so fast I couldn’t say hello. Sorry I couldn’t join y’all.”

“Hi, Nita. No problem.”

“That’s fine, Auntie. It gave Grace and me time to plan some things.”

“Like what?”

I extended the phone toward Grace and nodded, signaling for her to tell Aunt Nita our news.

“Caleb and I are getting married.”

The tension in Grace’s shoulders visibly left as she exhaled slowly and her eyes widened.

“What in the world? Hallelujah! My instincts were right. The Lord moves fast. Look at God.” She spoke in tongues briefly and shouted for several seconds, so loudly I had to lower my phone’s volume.

Grace and I grinned at each other as Aunt Nita calmed down.

“After y’all get hitched, it’ll be my turn. Who’s doing your marriage counseling?”

Grace and I laughed at Aunt Nita’s running joke that although she was almost seventy years old, she was going to be caught up like the rapture when her man showed up.

My experience with Grace was exactly what my auntie said hers would be like.

Grace’s eyes got as big as saucers as she shook her head and mouthed I don’t know to me about the marriage counseling. Neither of us thought that far ahead.

“I’ll ask Elder Peyton. He has been like a father figure to me since Dad died. I’m sure he’ll guide us in the right direction.”

“That sounds like a solid plan. When’s the date?”

Grace and I stared at each other again. Aunt Nita asked all the hard, common-sense questions we should have thought about but didn’t in our excitement.

“We haven’t decided but around thirty days out,” Grace said.

“That’s fast,” Aunt Nita said with a thin whistle.

I chimed in.

“I’d like it to be soon so we can begin our life as a family. Right, Grace?” I gestured for her to get her energy up.

If we were going to be convincing, I needed her to sound excited about our engagement and nuptials.

She widened her eyes and made an “O” with her mouth.

“Yes, yes. I can’t wait to be with the love of my life.”

Too thick, I mouthed.

Grace and I were awful at improv. We needed to discuss our plans away from Aunt Nita.

“Auntie, we’ll let you know the details when they’re finalized.”

“Okay. Just know I’ll be here when you need me. I can’t wait to see Grace walk down that aisle. Look at God.” She tsked.

I imagined Aunt Nita rocking her body from side to side as she spoke. I was blessed to have the solid support of a mother and aunt who knew my past but didn’t make a big deal about my current choices.

When we said our goodbyes and I hung up, Grace looked at me in what I now knew was her cautionary gaze.

She had never told me she battled anxiety, but I sensed from her tense body language that her general preference to be alone came from deep hurt and fear of rejection.

Whatever it was, I would do my best to cover her from harm and let her know she didn’t have to face the world and its issues alone.

“I don’t want a big wedding. I told myself if I ever got married, I’d focus more on the marriage than the wedding. Could we do something small and intimate?” Grace’s eyes pierced my heart.

I imagined how overwhelming it could be to join a new community and marry so quickly. Her taking on the Stallings name would put her in the limelight. The least I could do was to compromise and honor her request.

“You’re the bride, but Mama isn’t going to be pleased.

She gave birth to twin boys who were the apple of her eye.

When my brother Joshua died in an ATV accident in fourth grade, she clung to me like we were joined at the hip.

This is also her chance for a do-over since my first marriage was a bust. I’m not scared of my mother, but I’m going to let you explain to her why half the county won’t be at the wedding of the summer. ”

Grace bit her bottom lip and reached for my hands.

“Tell you what. We can have a big reception after church one Sunday. I’ll stand by and greet your admirers as the girls look on wearing their pretty little dresses and manicures. We can even put fresh flowers in their hair.”

I reached for Grace and pulled her into my lap. A flurry of cute giggles escaped her lips as I tickled her. She wiggled over me in a way that aroused me. When she stilled, she placed her arms around my neck and pressed her body into my chest.

“As long as you’re next to me, Grace, I’ll do what you want. This will be good for both of us. I can’t wait to be your husband.”

Grace kissed me on my cheek and rested in my arms.

“This is so crazy, but I’m kinda excited to be your wife.”