Page 59 of A Curse On Black Lake (Black Lake Gothic Cowboys #1)

The Spirits are calm at the moment, whispering to each other. It’s low enough, like a hum I’m able to ignore them.

“Thanks for the warning,” I mumble to them.

The Spirits don’t respond.

My hand pauses on Tiny, and he whines. “Sorry, sorry,” I mutter, going back to petting him. “I need to give you and your siblings a bath. But your daddy will probably roll his eyes because y’all will simply get dirty again ten minutes after I let you back out.”

He makes a funny noise, and I kiss his forehead. “I love you too, buddy.”

Time ticks like molasses, and yet I can’t count the minutes, the hours that pass. Then again, I’m not sure I care. What’s the point?

Boots stomp on the porch out front, and the kitchen door opens. “Alright, darlin’, the coast is clear.”

Tiny licks my hand and saunters outside.

“How are you feeling?” he asks.

I lift a shoulder, and down the rest of my cold tea before setting the mug back on the table. Following him out the side door and down the steps, we go to the barn, avoiding the front.

“I’m going to go check on the herd. Do you want to come with?”

I shake my head. “I need to check on my other goats.”

“Everyone else is fine. I checked,” he says.

“Thank you,” I rasp, my throat too tight.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

He pulls me into his chest and takes my hat off, pressing his lips to my hair, then he sets it back on my head.

We walk down the hill to the barn, and I follow Killian into the tack room.

“Alright, I’m going to check the herds. I’ll be back.” He hesitates and stares at me.

“I’m fine, really.”

“It’s not you I’m worried about.” He pauses. “No, I am worried about you, but I’m more concerned about that bastard coming onto my property. He threatened you again. I had him, Eliana. I had that bastard. I should’ve snapped his neck,” he grits.

He puffs out a breath like the angry bull I was almost trampled by. It doesn’t matter if I kind of agree with him. I’m glad he’s safe because whoever has been watching me is violent, and the possibility of hurting Killian more than he already has is strong too.

“It doesn’t matter now. You’re okay. That’s what matters to me,” I tell him.

He huffs, and his shoulders drop. “Are you sure you’re okay for a while? I’ll go fast.”

I force a smile. “I’ll be okay.”

He grunts. “Tiny will stay with you.”

“Okay.”

He nods reluctantly and grabs his saddle for Chester.

The sun beats down on my back as I clean up after my goats, who are leaping for joy because I gave them some oats to eat. Goats will eat anything, but they have a thing for oats.

Winnie neighs at me, and I smile at her. “I’ll get to you in a minute, young lady.”

She dips her head up and down as if she understands me. Horses are smart, so she probably did.

I check on Gertrude, who is currently munching on grass further out in the field. I think she loves the space to roam. She has it on my property, but definitely not like this.

After I finish with the goats, I make my way back into the barn to grab Winnie’s saddle. I drop the bucket and head into the tack room. My chest splits, and I take a deep breath, rubbing the pain away.

Life is full of growth, child. This life does not come easy, but it is worth it.

“How would you know?” I mutter. “Some psychopath killed my goat.”

We simply do, and we are sorry. Evil is present around you, but it will not succeed.

“Yes, thank you. That makes me feel so much better.”

She would be proud of you, regardless.

My eyes burn, and I can’t help the tears that drop from my face.

I lean over, putting my hands on my knees, trying to breathe through it.

A sob burst through my lips, and instead of trying to bottle it, I let it out.

Grams always got mad at me for keeping it in.

She said it would always backfire. I blame it on my poor Conrad.

It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Sitting down on the floor, I lean against the wall and let it break me.

I miss her so much. The hole in my heart won’t stop bleeding, and there is nothing I can do to stop it but let myself feel the ache of loss.

She would know what to do. She would know how to make all of this better.

“Eliana?” Killian calls.

I take a deep breath and wipe my tears.

“Are you in here?” he yells again.

His boots click against the concrete floor as he pops his head into the tack room. “Hey, what’s—”

I look up at him, and he frowns. “What’s wrong, baby? Are you hurt?” he asks, dropping to his haunches.

His warm brown eyes scan my face with his eyebrows scrunched together in concern. I spot some dirt on his cheek and lick my thumb to wipe it away.

“Not that kind of hurt.”

His lips twist and moves to sit down next to me. He grabs my hand and holds it between both of his large, calloused ones.

“I’m sorry about Conrad. I know they’re like your babies.”

I nod.

“And it’s probably safe to assume you’re not ready to go back home either,” Killian says.

“I wanted a day, one single no-thinking day, but I can’t seem to even get that. And I can’t bear the thought of looking at my destroyed garden right now. I know I have a business to run, but it hurts to look at all the destruction.”

He rubs his thumb across the top of my wrist. “I get that. I have a plan to see if we can get things replanted. I know some plants you can start in water.”

That makes me smile a little. “You thought about all of that?”

He chuckles. “We needed a plan.”

“How do you know I didn’t already have one?” I ask him.

“Well, you didn’t tell me about it,” he grunts.

I snort. “I didn’t have one.”

“I’ve single-handedly ruined my family’s legacy in less than six months since my Grams died. I’m wallowing at the moment.”

He pats my hand. “Then I’ll wallow with you.”

“How are the herds? Do we need to move anyone?”

“No, tomorrow we will, but that’s tomorrow’s problem,” he says.

“We got up too late, didn’t we?” I ask him.

The corner of his bearded mouth tips up, and I bite my lip. “It was worth it.”

The ache in my chest eases. “Yeah, it was.”

“Can I show you something?” Killian asks.

I brush my tears away.

Killian hops up and holds his hand out for me. I take it, and he pulls me up slowly, drawing me into his chest. His dirty hand directs my chin so all I see is him. “Sorry my hand is dirty, but I need those lips.”

I smile at him wistfully and stand on his boots to reach him.

“I don’t care about the dirt.”

Killian’s mouth meets mine in a tender kiss. “Come on.” He takes me by the hand out of the barn.

We walk up the hill towards the house and around back. There are four squares dug out in the ground and wood in the same shape, making a garden bed. A couple of other squares are started, but the bed isn’t completed. “Are you going to start gardening? It’s a little late in the season, cowboy.”

He drops an arm around my shoulders. “I buried Conrad over there, by that tree,” he says, pointing to the bald cypress across the yard. “I know you probably wanted him at your house, but…”

“No, I get it,” I mutter.

“So what are you doing with this?” I ask, pointing back at the garden beds.

He adjusts his hat and rubs his beard. “I, uh, thought you could plant some things here. I started it between moving your animals.”

I stare at the garden beds. It’s not like I was running out of space on Greer land. We’ve had space for expansion, for higher-yielding crops. Killian knows that.

It was in Grams and I’s plans to expand everything. When she was alive business was good, but it was because of her.

I look up at Killian, and his jaw twitches.

“I don’t know what to say,” I say, still shocked, but confused. These garden beds mean he’s serious, right? They mean that he wants a future with me. Am I prepared for a future with him? Two months ago, the only thing I could do was get myself out of bed and feed my animals.

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I can plant some other things here. I know we spoke about this earlier, but I did it anyway because I want you here, and I thought this could encourage you to be,” he says.

Shocked isn’t the right word to describe the way I’m feeling. “This is really thoughtful, thank you.”

Okay then, Eliana, way to show gratitude.

“Yeah, no problem,” he says and kisses my temple.

I don’t deserve this because I don’t know where I stand with him. He is the only man who has ever taken the time to see me, to get to know me. It also doesn’t help that I have no idea what I’m doing with him. I wish Grams were here.

Killian lets out a deep sigh and squeezes my shoulder before dropping his hand.

“It’s yours if you want it,” he says and leaves me standing in front of the garden boxes.

I watch him walk up the steps of the porch and disappear into the house.

This is not the time for this. I have no business being in a serious relationship with someone when I have a stalker, Killian’s being accused of murder, there’s a curse Killian and I’s ancestors are a part of and for some reason it involves us, and I just buried my grandmother, the most important person on Earth to me.

I look over at the mound of dirt where my Conrad is buried. Picking a few wild daisies, I go lay them on his grave.

I like Killian a lot, but are we ready for this? We’re going at a slow, comfortable pace, something I can adjust to. But does he care only because we have so much common ground in our loss, or because we’ve faced so much in such a short amount of time, we’re looking to each other for comfort?