Page 14 of A Curse On Black Lake (Black Lake Gothic Cowboys #1)

Chapter ten

Eliana

I lean forward clasping my hands on the table.

The Spirits nearly screamed at me when I got a look at Killian.

Something about the shape of his face, the way he was looking at me, felt familiar.

Because I keep to myself, I barely remember him.

I’ve probably seen him a handful of times, but didn’t think anything of it.

I make a point not to talk to anyone in town.

But the way he was looking down at me while I was in that ditch was like déjà vu. He’s the man from my dream, I know it. The Spirits confirmed it when my ears started buzzing from all the activity, increasing my pounding headache.

“I don’t know who he is, but I think he’s already here, maybe even came to my house last night.”

His eyes widen, and he shifts in his seat. “Did someone try to break into your house?” he asks.

“No, but he was watching me.”

“Did you call the cops?” he asks.

“No because by the time he was gone it was too late, and I don’t think they would have believed me anyway.”

He bristles and rubs his chin. “You’re not wrong,” he mutters.

I hum. I figured as much.

“I’m sorry, why are you here to help me?” he asks.

I smile to myself because this is insane. But the Spirits have done a lot of things, including make me crazy, but they have never lied to me. And my gut, no, my whole body feels drawn to him.

My hands shake as I take a deep breath. “Someone is coming, and I don’t know who, and I don’t know how, but I do know that I have to be here to help you with all of it.”

He shakes his head, struggling to absorb the information, and opens his mouth, probably to call me crazy or kick me out, but then there’s a knock at the front door.

“Thank’s for the food, but I think it’s time for you to leave. Your bike is leaning against the porch,” Killian says with a confused expression as he stands to go answer the door.

You must convince him, you must!

You won’t stand a chance without him, and he needs you! The Spirits yell.

“I can’t convince a man who has no interest in listening. It’s not like I can tell him all the details. You told me not to!” I grunt under my breath.

Gathering my shoes slowly, I listen for who is at the door.

“What now?” Killian says.

“I have more questions for you,” a man says.

“Like what? There is nothing to tell, and whatever potential evidence you think you found is a farce.”

“Were you able to think of an alibi?” the man asks.

Interesting.

“Why?” Killian asks.

“We’re going to have to take another look at the land we found the body on,” he says, ignoring my question.

My eyes widen. What I’m supposed to help him with might have already begun. I heard about a dead woman again, but was she found on Killian’s land? I don’t know what this is about, but my gut tugs.

There is no such thing as coincidence in Black Lake.

It’s all connected, you know that.

“Absolutely not. If you want to be on my land, you need a warrant,” Killian says.

“You do know that looks suspicious.”

“Or it just means that I know my rights,” Killian snaps.

Getting my shoes back on, I keep my head down, pushing past Killian and … Sheriff Wyatt Sawyer down the stairs.

They pause their conversation, and I can see the hard set of Killian’s jaw and his hand squeezing the door jamb.

I notice my basket is back on the front of my bike and hop on. My leg twinges a little, but I’ll be alright to get home. Before kicking off, I stare at Killian, and he shifts on his feet with a flash of guilt on his face.

“Bye, Killian. Thanks for fixing my bike and my leg.” Then, I start pedaling down the gravel driveway.

You should have stayed. You should have told him what we said to you.

“What y’all don’t seem to understand is, I did that …

sort of. It freaked him out. And now I’m starting to put together that maybe what you told me to tell him scared him too much because he found a dead woman on his land.

I don’t believe he did anything, but he has no reason to trust me, and what I said certainly didn’t help,” I snap at the Spirits.

Yes, but rumors are everywhere. As they are about you.

“I am well aware of the rumors,” I grumble.

My chest twists, and I force deep breaths into my lungs. Grief steals your breath and leaves you gasping for air. Grams would know what to do. I need to see her.

It’s almost an hour to get from Killian’s to the graveyard across town, but I don’t care how long it takes.

By the time I get there, it’s late afternoon, and sweat drips down my back. I’m behind on all of my chores, and I can barely keep up. My goal is to prep things to open the apothecary again because I have to be able to keep the lights on and feed the animals, but for now, it all can wait.

I walk through the aboveground burial sites to Gram’s and plop down next to it.

“Grams, I miss you, and I don’t know what to do anymore.”

The Spirits whisper to me, and I ignore them, hoping and praying that Grams will send me some kind of sign or encouragement. What I wouldn’t do for one of her hugs right now.

“I understand now that you were talking about Killian. I don’t know how I knew it was him, but he feels right.

Something about the way he looked at me is familiar, other than having an awareness of each other.

But how do I convince a practical stranger to listen to me?

I sound insane. People don’t talk like this. ” I pause and think about that.

“I lied. People talk like that in Black Lake. But even then, why would he believe I saw him in a dream? He doesn’t strike me as a man who knows there’s much more going on in this world than what can be seen. How do I explain that to him?”

I take a breath and lean against the stone. My eyes burn, and I blink up at the sky. I’m so tired of crying. My skin is dry and raw because of it. I was crying earlier today, simply feeding her favorite goat. How am I supposed to get through this?

‘All will be well when you find it within each other.’

What was she thinking about? What is it?

Maybe answers? I groan, and instead of trying not to cry, I let the tears flow.

What’s the point of holding them in? I learned the hard way that if I hold in my emotions for too long, the Spirits get mad.

It’s like I become a human powder keg, and then when I reach my breaking point, everyone gets hit.

The only friend I ever had got hit. Edward was the only one aside from Grams who cared about me. He didn’t care that I had white hair and weird eyes. He didn’t care that I had Spirits in my head who talked to me and told me things no one would know.

He moved to Black Lake with his family, next door to my house. The way our house sits covers five acres of land, for the garden. That’s how it’s been since before Grams was born. He was as close as neighbors are out here. I didn’t have any friends. Eventually, I preferred it that way.

But one day Eddy came into the garden and started asking me questions. We hit it off, and he was amazed I knew so much about plants and animals. Every day he got home from school, he would come and ask what I learned that day, and I would tell him about the plant or tincture I made.

We grew up together. He might have even been my first love, though I’m not sure.

I take a deep breath, releasing it. There is a reason I keep everyone at a distance, too afraid to get close. Yet terrified of being alone.

He was the only friend I had aside from Grams. Now I have no one.

You need to leave. Someone is coming. The Spirits tell me.

I sit up and look around, there’s no one here. But I don’t question them and get to my feet.

Pressing a kiss to my fingers, I place it on Grams’s grave and get back on my bike to go home.

While I pedal down the empty road, I keep checking over my shoulder to see if a car is coming.

Killian fixed my wheel enough to make it work, but it still wiggles back and forth a little since it’s not perfectly straight.

I have to find another rim, or I’ll have to walk to make deliveries from now on … because I don’t have enough to do.

I wonder what Killian thinks about our interaction.

It’s not like I intended to meet him the way we did, but there are no coincidences in Black Lake.

My gut tells me we were meant to fall together this way.

But I probably scared him away because I came on too strong.

I’m trying to follow what my Grams and the Spirits have asked of me, but it looks like it might be a little harder than I anticipated.

He’s a tough man with a thick exterior, but based on the way he carried me out of the ditch, I can sense a softness to him. Not that I’ll be going anywhere near that. We’re supposed to be some kind of cosmic team. That’s all I’ve got, so I’m rolling with it.

I hear a truck coming up behind me and quickly pull off to the side of the road to hop off my bike so I don’t give anyone an opening again.

The truck drives past me, and I give it a minute, making sure they don’t turn around.

They don’t come back, so I get back on my bike with only about a mile to go.

When I get home, it’s pitch black outside. The clouds blanket the moon. I’m exhausted, my leg hurts, and the concern I failed my Grams makes my stomach churn. I should be hungry, but I’m not.

You need to try harder, child.

“I don’t know how to convince him. Maybe I should tell him something I would have no logical way of knowing. Or maybe that would make it worse.”

For most people, we believe it would make it worse. The Spirits say.

“So then what am I supposed to do? It feels like I’m on a clock here, but I don’t know what I’m counting down towards.”

All I hear is silence.

“Thank you for your guidance,” I mumble, heading for the shower.

A heavy sigh leaves my lungs, and I tip my head back into the water.

An ache so precise rips through my sternum, puncturing my lungs and shredding my heart with its thorns.

Poison leaks through my veins and stuns my soul.

I moan in pain as tears cloud my vision with the water pouring over my hair.

I’m crumbling into pieces. I hate this. I hate that I’m without her.

I hate that I have to learn to live life in a way I never wanted to face.

Maybe I’m wrong for it, yes, I was aware of the reality that she would die one day.

But … I wanted longer. I needed longer with her.

I don’t know how to be this kind of alone because so far it’s only been full of pain, grief, and exhaustion.

How am I supposed to live again? But then again, I’m not sure I was living when she was alive.

All I did was work, exactly like I am now.

The only difference is I don’t have my Grams.

But there is Killian.

I groan and force myself to stand up straight. “He clearly has no interest in being my friend.”

He needs time. The Spirits say.

“Whatever you say,” I mumble and picture his face. He’s rugged, unkempt, and his dark eyes are ensnaring. I have no business looking at him like that, but he isn’t bad to look at.

With Killian on my mind, I get myself out of the shower and into bed, too tired to do more than put on a t-shirt.