Page 25

Chapter 11
Pam’s taking me to the clinic today,” Jamie announced at the breakfast table on Friday morning. “I made an appointment.”
Her mom stopped pouring the milk into her glass and stared at her for a few beats. “All right. Do you want me to come along?”
Jamie could tell her mother wanted to be supportive, despite her true feelings. “It’s okay, Mom. You don’t have to come.”
“I want to be there for you.” Her mother wasn’t one to cry often, but she struggled to disguise her watery eyes. “No matter how right you believe this decision is for you, the aftermath may be worse than you expect.”
“I’ll be fine. This is what I want. I’ve thought about it so much. It’s best for everyone.”
“For the baby?” Mom glanced out the window as she said it.
A knock on the door caught their attention. “That’s Pam. I’ll be back in a little while.”
As Jamie moved toward the door, she heard her mother’s footsteps closing the space between them. When she turned back, Mom held her arms open, and Jamie received the tightest embrace her mother had ever given her.
Thirty seconds ticked by with Mom still holding on.
“Mom,” Jamie whispered.
“I love you.”
“I know, Mom. I love you too.”
Mom leaned back enough to look Jamie in the eyes. “I just don’t want you to regret this decision. What if Duncan wants to raise the baby with you, Jamie? You haven’t even told him. It doesn’t seem right, him not knowing.”
“Mom.”
“And your dear friend who can’t have a baby. You could give her that.”
Jamie stepped away. “I’ve decided,” she replied firmly. She turned and walked away quickly because if she stayed and listened to her mother’s words any longer, she might let hope in about her and Duncan.
Been there, done that. She thought something special had happened between them, that they might have a future, and look how that had ended up.
She closed the door behind her and followed Pam along the sidewalk to her car.
When they were buckled in, Pam turned to her. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”
Her brow furrowed. “Have you and my mom been talking?”
Pam shook her head. “I’m your friend, and I’m just thinking of you and your happiness, so I had to ask once more before we go.”
“This is what I want.”
“Okay then.” Pam started her car and drove toward the women’s clinic.
Jamie stared out the window for the whole drive, her stomach fluttering more and more the closer they got to downtown Harrisburg. She’d done some research on the clinic and read about the abortion pill. It seemed like the best, least intrusive way to go, and she hated the idea of a surgical procedure. She just wanted to end all this worry once and for all.
When they arrived, her heart was in her throat, and her hands were shaking.
Pam reached over and took hold of them. She said nothing, simply squeezed.
Jamie got out of the car and stared across the parking lot at the river. She took a deep breath in and let it out, trying to relax. Back in Grand Rapids, sitting downtown along the Grand River always made her calm, but today, the rushing Susquehanna River had the opposite effect.
“Ready?” Pam asked.
She nodded once, and they walked to the clinic.