Page 98 of Trust Again

“You can’t just take off and only send me an email. What’s that all about?”

“I destroyed my cell phone,” I said, hanging my head.

“Yeah, I found the pieces and brought them with me.” She waved one of the bags at me. “I was so worried about you. Sawyer, too. She even called Kaden.”

Damn. I’d completely forgotten to let my roommate know what was going on. My list of things I had to apologize for was getting longer by the minute. “Oh, no.”

“She asked if you were at our place. I told her you were spending a few days with your dad ‘cause you needed a break.”

Sighing, I took Watson off Allie’s shoulder. “Thanks. I’d completely forgotten to let her know I’d be gone.”

Allie’s looked at me searchingly with her gray-green eyes. “So how are you?”

I shrugged and took the second bag that she’d filled with my stuff. Then I led her into the living room. I was going through writing withdrawal, so I’d called Allie to ask if she’d bring my laptop. She’d been wanting to visit me anyway, since I’d been holed up here for a week already, hiding.

But I was done hiding.

Dad’s words had woken me up.

I mustered all my courage. “How’s Spencer?”

“Fine. At least that’s what he wants us all to believe.”

This was no surprise.

“I take it something happened between you two that made you want to get away…” Allie probed carefully.

“I wanted to apologize to him. He said it was too late. But I kissed him and he told me how in love he is with me, and I… froze. He didn’t want to see me any more after that.” It was the shortest summary I could manage.

My friend put her hand on my arm. “Is the thought that he loves you so frightening?”

I swallowed hard. “That night, before I came over to your place, Nate had called me and told me that he loved me. It set me back. And to hear those words again, from Spencer, didn’t feel right. Not because I don’t want Spencer…” I shook my head and looked down at my hands in my lap. “I am completely crazy about him, Allie.”

“I can tell.”

“Nate just took me by surprise. I… I didn’t mean to freeze on Spencer.”

“Don’t feel bad about that, Dawn. Anyone within 100 miles can see that you’re in love with Spencer. You’re just being extra careful with your heart because it was broken before. There’s nothing mysterious about it; it’s just a defense mechanism,” Allie said.

I caught my breath.

In a flash I realized Allie was speaking the truth.

I really had fallen head over heels in love with Spencer.

“Since you’ve been living with Kaden, you’ve become pretty good at this kind of thing,” I replied after a pause.

“Kaden’s and my story is a perfect example. Sometimes things need more time. I have a feeling Spencer can wait a little while longer, if he’s really serious about you. But he also didn’t know about Nate’s call, did he?” Allie bit the corner of her lip thoughtfully.

“No. I wanted to explain it to him but he had had enough of me and my excuses. I raised his hopes and played with his emotions—for months—only to let him fall. It’s totally understandable that he’s fed up,” I murmured.

“It was just bad timing. That’s nothing that can’t be fixed,” she said firmly.

I growled in response.

“I mean it, Dawn. If we could wipe all evidence of Nate from your mind and even erase the time you had with him, what would the story be now?”

There was only one answer to Allie’s question. It didn’t take long for me to say it. “If I hadn’t spent years with Nate, I wouldn’t have been afraid to let Spencer get close to me. I believe… we’d be together.”