Page 35 of Trust Again

Then Sawyer burst out laughing.

I covered my face with my hands and made a mental note to keep them there forever, to hide my burning cheeks. All I needed was a little super glue.

“Come on, Dawn. We don’t have the same taste in men, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting a guy like Spencer Cosgrove.” Sawyer playfully kicked my thigh.

“I don’t want him,” I mumbled, slowly removing my hands from my face. “Getting involved always means getting hurt. And I’ve been there, done that.”

Sawyer snorted. “When did you break up with that other guy? A year ago?”

“More than a year.”

“Maybe now’s the time to stop thinking and let off some steam. It doesn’t have to be some great love. Give in to your desires! You’re probably a wildcat in be—”

Grabbing a pillow, I swatted her until she was laughing uncontrollably.

That night, Sawyer learned how deeply this thing with Spencer unsettled me. I told her of my worries and fears, and felt lighter by the second. It helped to talk to someone who was somewhat removed from the situation.

“And that’s why you’re avoiding your friends?” Sawyer finally asked.

I nodded.

Sawyer frowned. “You guys really have to work this out, Dawn. You can’t go into hiding just because he can’t cope.”

I sighed. “You’re probably right.”

“If you’re not ready to get involved yet, then he has to accept that. Don’t let yourself be pushed around just because he’s unable to hold back any more.”

She lay there surrounded by pillows, staring at the ceiling, her arms crossed behind her head.

“You’re really terrific, Sawyer.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Is it okay if I continue practicing my presentation now?” I asked, eyebrows raised.

In answer, she grabbed my headphones from her nightstand and put them on.

Chapter 12

This morning most of the girls on our floor kept their distance from the bathroom. I’d been throwing up since 5 a. m., losing everything I’d eaten the night before.

I felt sick as a dog. It was hardly the first time I’d been a nervous wreck, but my anxiety over today’s presentation was something else. My whole body was shaking as I puked myself dry. Everyone probably thought I’d been partying last night.

A hot shower helped calm my nerves a little as well as wash away that clammy, sweaty feeling. Back in my room, Sawyer regarded me with a frown.

“You look awful, Dawn.”

“Same to you,” I snapped.

“Here,” she said, extending her palm. “I take these for nausea. If one doesn’t help, take two or three.”

She held a small plastic bottle in her hand. “What’s that?” I asked skeptically and reached for it.

“An herbal thing that my sister gave me. It helps calm you down a bit,” she explained.

“Oh. Thanks.”

“You don’t want breakfast, do you?” Sawyer asked, to which I shook my head.