Page 10 of Trust Again

Heaven.

Spencer Cosgrove was simply petting a cat, and it turned me on. No, no, no.

“He’s gotten so big.” I cleared my throat and forced a smile.

“Yeah, right? He’s also pretty mean now.”

“Only with you, Spence,” Allie said behind me.

I couldn’t resist: “Spidey’s pretty darn smart.”

Spencer snorted. “With me he can try out things that he’d never dare to do with you. Right, my little friend?” Dropping the stick, he took the cat’s tiny head in his hands, using his thumbs to smooth the fur near Spidey’s ears.

My stomach leapt again. Come on: why did the sight of a man petting a cute little kitty make my cheeks go hot?

Spidey took advantage of Spencer’s brief distraction by slipping between his hands, pouncing on the stuffed mouse, and biting it. Before Spencer could grab the stick again, the cat pranced into the living room, dragging the rubber band and stick behind him. When he reached me, he started purring and dropped his prey.

“Thank you, Spidey.” I leaned down and stroked his soft, fluffy head. “That’s very kind of you.”

“Bad move. Stop flirting with her, man.”

I couldn’t meet Spencer’s eyes. Not when my body reacted so unpredictably. So I slid my hand along Spidey’s back to his tail one last time before rising to join Allie as she set up our workspace.

For the next few hours, we focused entirely on our analysis of Sylvia Plath’s poem, Mirror, and her life story as a symbol and reflection of the women’s movement. At least we tried. Because it was almost impossible to block out Spencer and Kaden, who, at some point, began to fight each other on the sofa, which resulted in a lot of loud grunting and shouting.

Thankfully, the two of them decided to order food for us later that evening.

Over dinner, I only talked with Allie; we made up for lost time because we still had a lot of work to do for class. At some point Kaden started to massage Allie’s neck, and Spencer stood looking over my shoulder to see our work. Normally I would’ve hunched down and let his comments roll over me. I would’ve made some kind of ironic remark and gotten him to smile. But today that was impossible. All I could do was sit up straight and pretend to be totally immersed in my work as he stood behind me, his hands resting on the back of the chair.

Maybe I was a coward after all.

Chapter 5

I spent the rest of the week trying to pull myself together, pretending that nothing had happened. Spencer was banished to a file in the corner of my brain labeled non-existent. Instead of thinking about him, I went to classes, worked with Allie on polishing up our essay, and—the minute I got home—returned to work onHot for You, like there was no tomorrow. That was also why I’d turned down Allie’s invitation to come over Friday night and go out partying. That, and the fact that seeing Spencer again might well kill me.

Non-existent.

I’d just stay home and write. Or read. Or both. Anything but think about Spencer.

Non-existent!

When I returned to the dorm that evening the halls were buzzing with activity. Many students were heading home for the weekend, visiting their families or keeping up their long-distance relationships.

Carrying my shoulder bag, some groceries, and a bag of new books, I stood for a second in front of my door, then knocked loudly a few times to warn Sawyer. Closing my eyes, I entered the room.

“At the count of three, I’ll open my eyes. If anyone’s indecent, he or she should get dressed if they don’t want me to see them,” I announced loudly.

The answer came in the form of a muffled sob.

My eyes popped open, I dropped my bags to the ground. “Sawyer?”

“Get out,” came the gruff answer.

She was sitting by the window on her side of the room. Her blonde, tangled hair hung like a curtain in front of her face and she’d pulled her legs up to her chest.

I pulled a second chair up to the window next to her and sat down. “What’s wrong?”

“Go to hell, Dawn.” She was still looking at the floor.