Page 60 of Trust Again

Spencer nodded. Raising a hand to my cheek, he wiped away the tears.

“What an idiot I am,” he said suddenly. “I put so much pressure on you, and that’s the last thing you needed. I must have scared you to death.”

“You’re not an idiot, Spence. Don’t say that.”

He groaned. “It’s so typical of me. I’m the king of morons. How did you hold out for so many months without slapping me upside the head?”

“Kaden already did it for me,” I joked, recalling Spencer’s black eye and my sore hand, which I’d aimed at Kaden—and missed.

There was obviously too much aggression in our circle of friends.

“I’m so sorry, Dawn. If I’d known all this, I would never have been…” He grimaced and rubbed the back of his head. “Man, I am bad at this.” He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Before we met, the last thing I wanted was a girlfriend. I only got involved with women who had no expectations. But when I met you…” He shrugged. “I wanted to do everything right: to woo you, to take you out, basically everything in the dating how-to book. You would be my first relationship and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I didn’t know you’d never been in a relationship before,” I said.

“So far none of my relationships have lasted longer than a night.”

“You scoundrel.” We were better at joking around than at serious talk. So much better.

“I didn’t have the time or the patience for anything more. But with you… it’s the first time I wanted something else. I guess I should have done everything the way I used to.”

“It probably would have gotten us here a little faster,” I replied.

His brow wrinkled briefly.

“Do you regret what we did last night?” he asked abruptly.

Looking into his face and seeing the restlessness in his deep blue eyes, I felt a surge of emotion.

“No way,” I said finally.

Spencer sighed in relief. “And here I thought you were going to say ‘yes.’”

He smiled, and I tried to smile back. But my face was too sore. Crying for too long did that to me.

“I would never even think of it.”

He brushed my bangs from my forehead and tried to tuck them behind my ears, but they were too short and fell right back into my face. A little line of concentration appeared between his dark brows.

“I meant it when I said I’d take you any way you let me, Dawn.”

My throat was dry as a desert. His words left me speechless. He said that even after I told him how screwed up I was.

“You’re one of my best friends, and I don’t want what happened last night to change anything,” he continued.

“I don’t, either,” I whispered hoarsely.

He dropped his arm. “Good,” he said, looking pensive. He nodded slowly, as if to himself.

“Good,” I echoed. “So we’re still friends?”

“We’re anything you want us to be.”

Huh?

“Don’t worry too much about what’s between us. Because there is definitely something and neither of us can deny it,” he said, with his typical clarity. “I know you’re afraid, and it’s hard for you to not obsess over the future. But I think it would be better if you didn’t, and instead tried to do what I do.”

“And what would that be?”