Page 90 of Trust Again

“But I love you.”

The tingling stopped. My ears were buzzing.

“What?” I croaked.

“I’ll always love you, Dawny,” he repeated in a wavering voice, his breathing uneven. “When I saw you in the restaurant, it was like my eyes were finally open. God, I know I totally screwed up, but you have to know I’ll never do that again. I’ve changed. I’ll take responsibility for my mistakes and…” There was a shattering sound and Nate cursed. “Shit. Hang on.”

His speech was slurred. “You’re drunk.”

“It’s been a year since we signed those damned papers, Dawny. The first year since we were little kids that we haven’t spoken, not even once, and you have no idea how much it fucking hurts.” Again, he seemed to stumble and needed a moment to gather his thoughts. “I’m thinking of you. Every day. And I miss you so goddamn much. Sometimes I think…”

“I don’t want to hear it,” I said. At the other end of the line something crashed.

“But I need you, Dawn. I need you in my life. I can’t make it without you.” His voice broke and in the background I could hear the sounds of other men talking.

“Go home, Nate. Sleep it off. And delete my number.” I hung up. Then I threw the phone across the room. It hit the wall and bounced off.

Sawyer touched me gently on the arm but I didn’t react. I didn’t even listen to what she said.

I’d forgotten!

One year ago today I’d signed the divorce papers, and forgot about it until now.

I love you.

If you really love someone—really, truly love them—then you don’t do what Nate had just done.

It had taken me a long time to get this far. I’d found myself and was never going to let him trap me in his web again.

I needed to get his voice out of my head.

For that, I really needed a distraction.

Beer was my new best friend. I didn’t actually like it, but it was all that Kaden had in the fridge and I decided after the fourth bottle that the bitter taste wasn’t so bad.

We were all watchingThe Bachelorettetogether at Allie and Kaden’s, on my suggestion. While Kaden, Scott, and I talked about which of the men we found okay and which we couldn’t stand, Allie was in the bathroom helping Monica dye her hair. Spencer and Ethan had just come back with the pizzas we’d ordered, and spread them out over the coffee table.

“Oh wow, I never would have thought that Mitchell would stay in,” Scott said, craning his neck to see past Ethan.

“Me neither. He’s an asshole,” I agreed.

“Which one is that, again?” Kaden asked, handing me another beer.

“The blond.”

“There are 20 blond guys, Scott.”

Scott rolled his eyes. “The surfing instructor.”

“Oh. Him.” Kaden looked toward me for a clue, and I hid my grin behind bottle number five.

Spencer plopped down on the sofa next to me. I avoided his gaze.

“That woman must be blind if she won’t let Rodrigo stay,” Scott said.

“Which one is that?” Kaden asked.

Scott sighed.