Page 56 of Trust Again

“You made me pretty happy tonight,” he said.

“I knew my vagina was good for something.”

He grinned. “You have a fantastic vagina but that’s not what I meant.”

I moved closer, to feel his warmth. “I know.”

“Thanks.” He kissed my forehead. “Sleep well, Baby.”

With these words he brought me back to reality.

Chapter 19

It was early morning when I tiptoed downstairs and gathered my things. My hands were shaking as I pulled my shirt on. I felt awful. My stomach was in a knot, my limbs were heavy and felt somehow foreign.

What had happened between Spencer and me had been beautiful. No doubt about it.

Sleep well, Baby.

What a cruel joke that those three words were enough to undo me. One glance at my inner thighs was enough to trigger a wave of nausea. What an idiot I was to believe I could ever leave my past behind.

Sleep well, Baby.

Why? Why did he have to use the same three words that Nate had said every night in bed? Why had Spencer’s kiss on my forehead sent me tumbling straight back into the past?

Spencer could hardly know what he’d triggered in me. And yet he’d shaken me to my core.

He wanted a relationship, a serious one. But that was the last thing I wanted. To fall asleep in his arms, spending the night next to him and waking up together—it was more than my mind could handle. It was too much. And I couldn’t handle the pressure.

I had tricked myself. Because no matter how beautiful last night had been, I couldn’t give him what he wanted. In fact, I planned on never having another relationship again. The fear of getting hurt was just too great. No way was I going to set myself up for that—for the feeling that I couldn’t exist without someone, that someone would have the power to destroy me. That’s exactly what Nate had done.

I found my bag on the kitchen counter and then ran to the closet. Hurriedly I pulled on my shoes, threw my scarf around my neck and put my jacket on without zipping it. I just wanted to go home. Walking toward the door—I froze.

Spencer.

He was leaning next to the front door, arms crossed.

“What the hell, Dawn?”

A lump formed in my throat. I kept swallowing but it just got bigger.

“I’m sorry,” I finally announced and moved toward the door.

Spencer stepped in my way and forced me to look up at him. “Why?” he asked quietly.

A cold sweat broke out on my neck and my stomach twisted. I started digging my fingernails into my palms. I needed to feel that stinging on my skin, had to concentrate on it—not on the burning behind my eyes.

“Sorry you were about to sneak out right after we slept together?” Spencer continued. “Or maybe that you’re treating me like I’m a cheap, one-night stand?”

I looked down at my shoes. Everything was blurry.

“Please, just let me go,” I blurted out.

“Baby, look at me.”

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. Even when he took my chin in his hand and tilted my head back, they stayed closed. I was too ashamed to look him in the eye.

His palm caressed my cheek. I kept hoping the floor would open up and swallow me at any second. My eyes were burning, everything in me hurt, and I could hardly breathe because I was trying so hard not to cry.