Page 39 of Trust Again

“Why?”

I swallowed hard. “That I am the way I am.”

He rested his chin on my head and kept on stroking my neck. “You don’t have to apologize for that, sweetie. Never ever.”

I closed my eyes and let his deep, steady breaths lull me back into sleep.

Chapter 13

Spencer was out cold.

My head rose and fell with his chest as he breathed. A steady rhythm.

Slowly, I raised my head and, for the first time, I allowed myself to look more closely—to really look him over. Starting with his hair and then his forehead. His eyebrows were just as dark and thick as the hair on his head, though the left one was a bit thinner and made a little upward turn. He had long, dark lashes, obviously inherited from his mother. They were even curly. That was really unfair, considering people like me needed mascara to look even halfway alive.

A light stubble covered Spencer’s chin and jaw; it must have been a couple of days since he’d shaved. My fingers itched to touch him and trace the lines of his jaw.

My gaze traveled along his torso to the arm that lay over mine. He had a few moles. His veins stood out over his muscles and branched along the back of his hand. He stirred and tightened his hold on me.

An ache spread in my chest and my stomach fluttered in excitement.

After nearly three and a half weeks of turmoil, things were finally settling down again. And this made me uneasy. I shouldn’t want this. And it shouldn’t feel so good to be in Spencer’s arms.

His breathing paused for a moment as he shifted. I moved my attention from his hands to his face. He slowly opened his eyes and looked back at me. He gave me a sleepy smile.

“I wouldn’t mind waking up like this more often.”

In an instant my relaxed state transformed into something tight and anxious. I sat up and clung to the back of the sofa, feeling suddenly cold and dizzy.

Spencer sighed and propped himself up as well. “I’d say ‘Oh, I didn’t mean it that way,’ but that’d be a lie.”

I coughed and scooted backward until my back was pressed into the corner of the couch.

Spencer grabbed a bottle of water from the coffee table. He unscrewed it causally and held it out. “Have a drink.”

I stared at the bottle for a second before taking it from him and trying a few sips. That only awakened my thirst further. I took a deep breath, then tipped the bottle back and drank deeply.

“Slowly, take your time,” he said, holding out his hand.

Reluctantly, I handed back the bottle and drew my hand across my mouth. I was waking up. The fog was lifting from my brain. And suddenly, my memories of the morning reappeared.

Isaac. Our presentation. Professor Walden. All the crap I’d told Spencer.

“Oh no,” I groaned and sank back against the couch. “I am such an idiot!”

“Bullshit. You just… took some sedatives and got yourself kicked out of a class.”

I squinted as the memories flowed over me like a bad horror movie. “Fucking hell.” I raised an eyebrow and looked at him. “How did you even know about it? I mean, why were you there?”

“I had a seminar across the hall and saw you collapse in the hallway with Isaac.”

My eyes widened. “I fell?”

He nodded slowly. “Sawyer saw it, too. She wanted to pick you up after the seminar. We ended up rushing to take you out of the hallway to my car so Walden wouldn’t find another reason to be a jerk.”

I groaned in frustration. This had to be the worst day of my life.

“I totally screwed up. Instead of giving the best presentation of my life, I… have one less course on my schedule.” I pressed my fingers against my temples. “Poor Isaac. This is all my fault.”