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“That’s good.” And I wish it didn’t bug me the way it does. “What did you say to her?”

She shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I told her I was sorry about her mom and how much I love her.”

The pain stabs through my chest. I wanted to say that. I should have told her I loved her. She needed the words that were at the tip of my tongue on the message. Why didn’t I say it?

Because you let the fear whisper to you. But your daughter knew just what to do and what to say.

“You’re so smart, you know that?”

Ayla looks up at me again. “Why?”

“Because you’ve already got the hang of loving people and knowing what to do for them. It’s so tough, but you know to tell her you love her. I’m giving you the advice you already practice.”

She smiles. “That’s what you always do for me when I’m having tough times. You tell me you love me and find a way to make it better.”

I kiss her forehead. “I’ll take that coffee.”

She springs to her feet. “I’ll be back.”

And I’m alone to torture myself because I should have told Lux I love her. I could have been there when she arrived, but I let her down yet again. I don’t know what to say or how to be the man she needs.

I need to let things be for now. She’ll have plenty of people to console her.

I need to fall back and sort my thoughts. I just can’t put away her kindness toward Ayla. It doesn’t surprise me that she was gracious with my baby, even in her moment of pain and grief.

It doesn’t even surprise me that it’s not a formality. I know how much she loves her.

That’s why her words haunt me. She loves my daughter but doesn’t trust me. It started with me feeling like I couldn’t get security from her, but it’s me who can’t make her feel secure because of my own fucking issues. Maybe it’s for the best that things ended this way. It’s like I’m never going to get it right.

The ping on my phone forces my gaze to it.

Lauren

The service is set for the day after tomorrow at ten in the morning.

Me

Thank you. Ayla and I will be there. How’s Chase?

Lauren

It’s complicated, just like their history…

Me

I get it. Have you seen Lux?

Lauren

Yeah. She got in a while ago. Very sad but strong. She’s been helping Chase and Cam with the arrangements and has been in communication with her dad.

That has to be rough on her. She has a complicated relationship with her dad too.

Lauren

She needs our support.

Me