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I shake my head. “You and I are different. We have an established relationship already. A few bad days do not erase our life together. And we’re human. We make mistakes.”

She snuggles closer. “That’s what Lux said.”

Please stop mentioning her.

I don’t want to hear her name, but Ayla loves her, and this is exactly what I always watch out for, what I always try to protect her from. So now we are both heartbroken because I love Lux too, but I don’t know if I can trust her.

“Do you want to watch something? Spring training games are on,” I ask.

She nods, and I switch the TV on. And there’s Mateo, warming up to get into the batter’s box. That fucking guy.

Ayla grabs the remote control from my hand. “We can watch another game or a TV show.”

“You like the Emperors, and you like watching him.” To my endless grief.

“Yeah, but he’s a jerk.”

I want to hug her. “You can still study him and learn from his craft.”

She shrugs. “I already know how to strike him out. Pitch him down and away. He has no range there.”

I laugh. “You’re something, you know that?”

“I get that from my dad,” she says, hugging me.

And for the second time tonight, my eyes fill before I can help it, and the tears escape the corners of my eyes before I can stop them.

28

Oliver

I leave Ayla at school, and this is the first time in three days when I can breathe better. Things are better, a little tentative, but more like the norm. She smiled and kissed my cheek before she got out of the car. I told her I love her, but as soon as I started driving, Lux took hold of my thoughts, and I found myself in Federal Hill and turning onto her street.

I’ve been thinking about her nonstop, and I just need to see her, talk to her. I get out of the car as soon I park it and make my way to the place we designed together, that I helped make to satisfy her needs.

She may not want me here.

But I need to try to convince her.

I stare at the door I helped install and tested with my own hands. It’s sturdy like a southern oak. I remember wanting it to be almost unbreakable so it would keep Lux safe. Now it’s an impenetrable barrier that keeps me away from her. I no longer have a reason to come in or the expectation of being invited. But here I am, waiting to talk to her, to explain my side. She may still not see it my way—yet, I hope.

Fuck yes, I hope she would be willing to give this another chance.

The door opens, and the breath leaves my body. There she is, beautiful as always, in a green ensemble that brings out her eyes. She’s in one of those fitted sporty outfits that make me hot all over. Eyes that sweep over me without the emotion from days before. She’s got sneakers on and looks ready to step out.

“Hi, Ollie.” She doesn’t look excited to see me.

What did you expect? Did you want her to look like she was about to jump you?

“Hi, Lux. I was wondering if I could talk to you.”

She looks down and back at me. “I’m going for a walk. You can join me.”

I smile for the first time. This is a good sign. “Okay.”

We head down the block, but she’s not saying anything. I need to start but don’t know how to begin.

“What did you want to talk about?” she asks, and I don’t think I’ve heard this detached tone of hers. It goes well with the blank look on her face.