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“Me too.” I sniffle and wipe my face again. “That’s why you have to talk to him, tell him why you talked to her, how you really feel.”

She shakes her head and my whole body with it. “He will never understand. My mom says I need to give him time, so I should just go live with her.”

Her words are like hacks with an ax, each making the splinter wider. I pull back to tell her she can’t do that. She’ll break her father’s heart forever. I can already see the hurt in his eyes. But I need to be careful not to push her too far.

“Ay, is that what you really want? Do you want to go live with someone else other than your dad?”

The tears are back, cascading down her cheeks. “No. I want things how they used to be. I want to be with Papi. I love him more than anything. I only want to talk to Noris sometimes.”

“Then you need to fix things with him. You don’t walk away because it’s hard. You fight for it.”

She tilts her head to look at me. “Are you going to fight to stay with him?”

This conversation is breaking me all over again. “It’s different. You two are each other’s everything. We are just not compatible.”

“But he’s been the happiest with you.”

The pain flashes over my chest, and it almost doubles me. “I was the happiest with him too, but you know what, that doesn’t matter. You and he matter. I want you guys to be happy and together like you belong.”

“It does matter. I loved having you with us. It was really cool. I wanted you to be my Mami… I shouldn’t say that, right?” Her eyes are so wide and earnest.

It takes all of me not to scream. I want to be your mom. I want to be with you.

“I love our relationship more than anything. I love you and that you see me like that. It doesn’t have to change. We can still be this close. You can call me whenever you need me, and I’ll always be there for you.”

Her shoulders droop, but I tug at her hand.

“You can give your mom a chance, but she needs to work out an arrangement with your dad. He raised you. And he would only let you go live with her if that is what you truly want.”

I give her a pointed look because I want to hammer the point home. This is not what she wants, and she shouldn’t do it because of the hurt.

She finally nods. “Okay.”

I squeeze her hand. “Ay, can I get you to promise me something?”

“Yes.”

“Promise that you’ll talk to your dad, and you’ll be completely honest about how you feel. You’ll tell the truth that you want to be with him and explain why you hid the calls from him.”

“What if he doesn’t listen? What if he hates me?” she asks.

“Your job is not to worry about the outcome. Your job is only to tell the truth. Trust the love you have for each other. Okay?”

She nods. “I promise to tell him the truth.”

“Thank you.” I hug her tight and try not to cry again. I hope to God this makes things right. I want Ollie and Ayla to be happy.

27

Oliver

I can’t seem to find my place tonight. With Ayla spending last night at Adri’s, I don’t think I have ever been so alone. At least not since she was born. I twisted and turned all night while thoughts of Lux plagued me constantly. I wondered where she was and how she was doing. I wanted to call and ask her. I didn’t think I had the right to ask the question.

I went through tomorrow’s workday, organized what I needed, and printed out the forms, but my brain and heart are all over the place, like my brain got demo’ed before a renovation. Other than work, nothing is where it’s supposed to be. I keep thinking about A and how I can bring us back to where we used to be.

Chase was right. I need to fix it. I can’t be without my girl.

I can’t love her and hold on to this hurt forever. I’m going to miss the great things if I don’t right this ship. It’s my issue. I want to make that clear to her.