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“I’m not interested in guys right now,” I mutter.
“Then just come and meet Charli. She’s really cool. Please. Come hang with me. It’ll be good for you.”
I narrow my eyes at her, wondering where this is all coming from. “Have you been speaking to my grandmother?”
“What?” Her face buckles in confusion. “Why would I speak to your grandmother?”
My insides flush with embarrassment, and I quickly shake my head. “No reason.”
“O-kay.”
Oh shit, this is humiliating.
“I’m happy to wait if you want a quick shower first.”
And if that isn’t code for “You stink,” I don’t know what is.
With an embarrassed wince, I shuffle past her to the bathroom and actually take a shower. And then I get dressed, leaving Carson’s precious, smelly hoodie folded neatly on the end of my bed.
What am I doing?
Am I seriously going with Jolie?
Yes! Yes, you are!
Because as much as I don’t want to admit this to myself… Gramma is probably right. I can’t wallow. I fought so hard to get back on my feet again. I can’t let this blow knock me over for good.
Sure, this pain is new and fresh and almost harder to deal with in some ways. This is soul pain. But it’s still pain. And if anyone knows how to manage that, it’s me.
Lying in bed isn’t making me feel better.
But maybe distracting myself with Jolie and her friends will take the edge off.
My roommate’s messing around on her phone while she waits for me, so I steal an extra couple minutes and apply some makeup. I’m finally starting to look like myself, and although the urge to jump back into bed is tugging at me, I manage to ignore it and follow Jolie out the door.
We walk through campus to get to the basketball gym. She slows her pace for me and is chatting away like I’m not going off to meet a bunch of strangers.
I nod and listen, smiling at her story about how her cousin’s boyfriend, Casey, ate so much food over Thanksgiving dinner that he sat on the couch groaning for the rest of the evening, and when it was his turn for charades, he got up there and let out the loudest burp in the history of burps while also popping out a righteous fart.
“It was the funniest thing. Caroline went bright red, my grandmother’s eyes nearly popped out of her head, and all Casey could do was laugh and shout, ‘Puck yeah! That feels better!’”
“Puck yeah?” I frown.
“I know.” She shrugs. “He’s a weirdo. But he’s actually really funny and sweet, and Caroline adores him. Oh, and their dog, Fezzik, is the cutest little guy. You’ll have to meet him too.”
I nod, battling overwhelm as she continues rabbiting on.
Seriously? Why am I feeling like this?
I used to be so excited and pumped about life, wanting to connect all my friends so we could make this massive group, and everyone could party and be happy together.
Now I just want to crawl away and hide.
Just before we reach the gym, I snatch Jolie’s sleeve and stop her.
“You okay?” She turns to face me.
“Yeah, I just…” I sigh, adjusting the beanie on my head. “Why are you pulling me into your world? I know we had that big chat, and I understand everything that went down, so it’s helped things be more comfortable between us. But you’re acting like… like you want to be my friend. Like… a good friend. Someone you hang out with on the regular.”