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“Nylah.” Dad rushes to the side of my bed, wrapping his arm around me. “Who is he?”
“No,” I blubber. “I don’t want you to take it out on him.”
“I won’t,” he promises.
I turn with a skeptical frown, blinking through my tears.
He gives me an apologetic smile before plunging the knife nice and deep. “You guys aren’t together anymore, so no rules are being broken.”
Flicking his arm off my shoulder, I stand and move away from him. Carson’s hoodie falls down my thighs. It’s like a dress. It’s so big and delicious, and I hope he never asks for it back.
Lifting the long, floppy sleeve to my nose, I sniff in his essence, my chest aching in new ways as I turn back to face my father.
Holding out my arm, I flick my wrist so the cuff dangles in the air and whisper, “Do you know who this sweatshirt belongs to?”
Dad studies the bold Nolan U letters across the front, then shakes his head. “Who are you in love with, Nylah? Just say it.”
Sucking in a breath, I release his name on a pitiful sigh. “Carson McAvoy.”
There’s a long, uncomfortable pause… and then comes the explosion.
“What!” Dad jerks to his feet. “McAvoy? You…” He huffs and shakes his head. “Are you kidding me?”
I shrug. “He’s it, Dad.”
“No. No! He can’t be. He’s too destructive and short-tempered! He turned up to my practice wasted the other day, tried to kill one of the other players, and then didn’t even show yesterday! I lost four other players because they went out looking for him!” He flicks his arms out wide. “He’s not worthy of you, Nylah!”
“Oh, stop with the bullshit!” I scream. “I’m not some deity! He doesn’t have to beworthyof me. I love him! I love him just the way he is. And sure, he screws up sometimes, but I want to work through that with him. I want to help him and take care of him the way he’s taken care of me.”
Dad frowns like I’ve lost my mind.
“He’s a good person, Dad. Stop treating him like he’s not!” I flop back against the wall, sobs suddenly racking my body. I fist Carson’s sweater and try to contain them, but I can’t.
“Baby girl.” Dad stands, moving forward to give me a hug, but I shake my head and push him away from me.
“Don’t! Don’t act like you care,” I cry. “You’re probably happy he dumped me.”
“I didn’t want him to hurt you.” Dad looks crushed. “And that’s what he’s done. He’s hurt you! Just like Nick did.”
“No!” I whack the wall with the side of my fist. “Not like Nick. That selfish prick didn’t want to have to hang around and deal with an invalid.” Dipping my chin, I press my palm to my forehead and whimper. “Carson broke up with me because he thinks he’s not good for me. And I would do anything to convince him that’s not true. But he doesn’t want to see me right now. He won’t take my calls or reply to my texts. He’s pushing me away. And he thinks he’s doing it for my sake.” I let out a shuddering breath. “I love him, Dad. I love him.”
My legs buckle, and I start to slide to the floor. Dad catches me before I hit the ground, wrapping me tight against him and cradling the back of my head.
I let him hold me because I’ve got nothing left right now.
I’m a depleted wreck, which is why I don’t fight it when Dad scoops me into his arm and carries me back to bed. Nestling me onto the mattress, he covers me up to my chin, then kisses my forehead and strokes my back until I’m finally drifting off to sleep.
CHAPTER56
CARSON
It’s been a shit week.
I’m fucking hollow.
The space inside my chest is cavernous, and no amount of running, practice, eating, showering, or sleeping will fill it.
I can’t concentrate.