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But I can’t do that with Nylah.
I try to tell myself it’s because the storm may rage back over us again. That the thunder and lightning that dissipated at some point when I was inside her could be an asshole and revisit.
Or I could just be honest and tell myself the truth.
I want to stay with this girl.
My little kitten.
With twitching lips, I brush my fingers down her face and then stupidly go and ruin the moment. “Who would be stupid enough to break up with you?”
Her smiles fades, her eyes giving me a silent thank-you before she sighs and snuggles back against my chest. “His name was Nick.”
“Nick the Dick.”
“That’s right!” She pops up, all excited. “That’s what I call him now.”
“Really?”
“Yes, because he turned out to be just that.” She shakes her head, another frown flashing over her expression. “I thought he was perfect. Top of the class, amazing athlete, super popular. Everybody loved him. We were like the ‘it’ couple at my high school. Not to be braggy or anything, but we were couple goals for a lot of people.”
“Right.” My tone is dry and unimpressed. I can’t help it.
She snickers and shakes her head. “I know. I thought I was so…” She keeps shaking her head. “But I wasn’t. I was just a kid who thought she was invincible. And then I got broken, and it tore my life apart.”
I sit up on my elbow so I can be eye level with her. “Are you telling me that bag of ass dumped you after the accident?”
Her eyes glass over as she sniffs. “Well, I mean, we had these big plans, you see? We were going to go to Stanford together, and then I couldn’t anymore, and?—”
“He dumped you because he couldn’t handle it.”
She bites her lips together and ends up nodding. “It’s true. At the end of the day, that’s exactly what it boiled down to. I wouldn’t have asked him to put his life on hold for me, but if he really loved me, he would have kept in touch.” Her voice goes soft. “He wouldn’t have freaked out and spent the summer avoiding me. He wouldn’t have written me an apologyemail, explaining that he couldn’t wait for me, so maybe it would just be best if we ended things.”
I growl, hating the guy a little more than I did before.
“It arrived while I was in the middle of my third and final surgery. Mom cried when it came and didn’t want to tell me about it, so Dad took that one.” She lets out a weak laugh. “He’d just come to visit after football camp and was getting ready to move me and Mom to Nolan so we could be together as a family again.” Her lips pull into a deep pout. “It was the worst fucking day of my life. One of many, I guess, but that one hurt differently than the rest.”
She goes quiet, staring out into the distance like she’s reliving it, and I can’t stomach that shit. She deserved better than that asshole.
“Hey.” I nudge her. “You’re better off without him.”
“Yeah.” She nods and forces a smile. “I am. I’m way happier without him.”
I can’t help wondering if she’s lying.
There’s a sadness in her gaze that’s making me feel like shit.
Fuck! She misses him. We just had sex, and she’s fucking missing him!
“I don’t miss him.” She shakes her head and I blink, prepping myself for her to tell me she’s telepathic. “I guess I just miss the life I thought I was going to have. College away with my friends. It was this perfect dream, and then I lost it all. And now I’m living in the same town as my parents, who hover over me like freaking bodyguards. I haven’t made any real friends yet, and the only thing that makes me truly joyful is…” She looks at me, her expression turning mushy as she brushes her fingers over the sprinkling of hair on my chest. “Is you. My little caveman.”
I snort, cupping her cheek and smiling at her. “I make you happy?”
“Of course you do. You’re the highlight of my day. And I’ve finally found a nickname that you didn’t call lame.”
“Caveman is lame.”
“No, it’s not. You didn’t respond with ‘lame’ the first time I said it, so it’s not lame, and that’s what I’m calling you from now on.” She rushes out the words like a bossy little bitch, and I fucking love it.