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I can’t stop seeing Nylah’s face in my mind. All her different looks. All her different sounds.
Fuck, I miss her.
But I can’t call her. Not only because I haven’t replaced my phone, but because I shouldn’t.
Scratching my chest, I plod down the stairs. It’s two o’clock in the morning, and the house is quiet. I’m itching to get on my bike and just ride away from this place, but I’m stuck here. Insurance is gonna cover the bike, but that’s gonna take ages to sort out.
Grady’s helping me with it while Tyrell and Wily hover nearby, making sure I get my ass out of bed in the morning and forcing me to class, practices, and any other shit I have to do.
They flank me at the lunch table, and Zander’s always there at the end of practice to give me a ride home.
I can’t escape these assholes.
Practices have been weird as shit, because Coach keeps looking at me funny. I don’t know what the fuck his problem is. He wants me to be perfect and I can’t fucking do that, so he’s probably just writing me off.
He hasn’t yelled at me once this past week. Fleischer’s been getting all of his barking, which is kind of satisfying but still weird.
Coach is probably gonna play that little prick in the next game while I warm the bench and try not to lose my shit.
Shaking my head, I plod quietly down the stairs. Lying in bed not sleeping is driving me fucking insane, so I might as well get up and watch a movie or something.
“Hey.” A soft voice captures my attention, and I jerk to a stop, peering into the living room and spotting Zander sitting on the couch. He’s bathed in moonlight. I can just make out his face.
Zoey’s cuddled up on his lap, sleeping against his chest.
“What are you doing down here?” I whisper, shuffling forward and leaning against the oak frame.
My roommate blinks before rubbing his eyes and muttering, “Zoey’s having a bad night. Sienna’s been dealing with most of it, but she needs some sleep. I’m taking the early-morning shift.”
“Is she okay?” I point to the cutie on his lap.
“Yeah, not sure what’s up. She might be getting her back molars, or maybe she had a bad dream. She’s got such a vivid imagination, so she’s prone to dreaming.” He kisses her mussed-up curls, then rests his head back with a weary sigh. “I got her to sleep about fifteen minutes ago, and I’m not risking moving. I’ll stay here ’til sunrise if I have to.”
My lips curl at the edges. He’s a good dad.
“How you doin’, man?” He turns to look at me.
I shrug, wondering if he can even see it through the shadows.
“Not sleeping well?”
“Nah. It’s…” I shake my head, not even sure what to say. “Can’t.”
“You miss Nylah, don’t you?”
“’Course I do.” I cross my arms.
“So… why are you living without her, then?”
Working my jaw to the side, I avoid his gaze, staring at the floor and struggling to breathe for a second.
“Don’t give me that bullshit about not being good enough for her.”
“But I’m not.”
“Who said?”
“Coach.” My voice is sharp. “I heard him. He was warning her away from me.”