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“When was the last time you got kicked off the field, huh? Shouted at in front of everybody? Told you’re not good enough to play?”
I shake my head, trying to figure out what the hell is going on. “Did my dad kick you off the team or something? Why?”
“Because I’m not good enough!” he roars, flicking his hands wide and spinning to face me.
Unfortunately, I shifted in at the same time he was turning, desperate to hug him, hold him, let him know it’s okay.
But instead, his hand clips the side of my head and I stumble back, tripping over his bag and landing on my side with a thud.
Thankfully, it’s not that painful.
Thankfully, my bad leg isn’t wailing.
Thankfully, I can get up and calm Carson down.
It’s time to sort this shit out.
I look up, about to tell him exactly that, but the words dry up in my mouth because he’s staring down at me like he just pulled a trigger.
CHAPTER48
CARSON
“Carson, I’m okay,” Nylah quickly assures me, but I shake my head, stumbling away from her.
That’s the second time my anger has had her landing on her ass.
I can’t do this to her anymore.
I can’t keep hurting her this way.
“It was an accident.” She gets back to her feet, but I can’t hear her past the buzzing in my head. “Carson.”
Taking another step back, I crash into my desk, holding out my hand when she goes to reach for me. “Stop! Stay away from me!”
“You’re not going to hurt me.” She brushes her fingers down her face like she’s trying to show me that nothing’s hurt or broken. Her eyes are so bright with hope and assurance. “I’m fine. I’m good. This is all going to be okay. I’ll help you calm down, and we can sort through this together.”
“No.” I shake my head, horrified by the image of her falling to the floor.
I hit her.
I fucking hit her!
I didn’t mean to, but it happened.
And I can’t let her stay around me anymore. I’ve let this shit go on long enough.
“Your dad’s right about me,” I croak. “You can do so much better. I’m no good for you. You need to go.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Her eyes spark with that fiery determined look I love so much.
I squeeze my eyes closed and turn away from her. “I hurt you.”
“You didn’t. It’s not like you meant to hit me. It was just a mistime. It’s no big deal.”
How can she be so fucking forgiving?
She should be chasing me away with a baseball bat.