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“I love her,” I clarify, surprised by how fucking easy that is to say.
Coach darts a look at me, his brown eyes like laser beams. “Then you need to start by loving yourself. Respecting yourself.”
I frown. How the fuck am I supposed to do that?
“And I’ll help you.”
Seriously?
I sit up a little higher in my seat.
“I’ll give you the tools, but it’s up to you to do the work.”
My throat swells, and I can’t seem to form a reply.
“But I’m serious, Carson. You don’t come near my daughter until you’vedonethe work. Until you’ve learned how to control that anger and actually like the guy inside you.” He taps my chest with his finger. “Because until you can do that, you’re not ready for her.”
CHAPTER58
NYLAH
“I’m not ready, old lady,” I grumble into the phone.
“Girl, you better get yourself ready, or I am dragging my old ass to Nolan and I’m gonna make you go out and party with me.”
“Come on, Gramma.”
“I’m serious! You cannot wallow in your room. I won’t have it. You need to get out there and find a life without that boy.”
“But he was everything.”
“Then you got it wrong.”
“What?”
“You can’t make some guyeverything. That’s a romantic, bullshitty notion that don’t work. I’m telling you, if you can’t be a person on your own, then you sure as shit can’t be a person with somebody else.”
I roll my eyes, not wanting to hear this right now.
I’m missing Carson with an ache that’s debilitating. Mom came over on Thursday and forced my butt out of bed. She threatened to attend every one of my classes with me if I didn’t go, so I stormed off and sulked through each lecture.
I did the same on Friday, but Saturday morning, when she called to invite me out shopping, I told her to leave me alone.
And now she’s recruited her mother, just like she did after my accident.
I huff, sinking into my pillows, tempted to hang up on my favorite woman on the planet.
“Nylah.” Her voice shifts to a soft coo—the one she uses when she’s about to say something that will hurt. “I know you love him. That’s not gonna shift in a hurry. And I know it hurts big right now.” She sighs. “Okay, you know what? I’m gonna set a fifteen-minute timer, and you have that long to tell me everything you love about that boy. And then you’re gonna get yourself up and go do something meaningful with your day.”
“Gramma—”
“Now, spare no details. I want all the goods on this man who went and stole my grandbaby’s heart. He must be a stallion in the bedroom, am I right? How good was the sex?”
I cringe and nearly hang up, but then I hear the beep of the timer, and I can’t help myself. I start talking, rattling off all the things I love about Carson McAvoy, including his magic fingers and the way he could send me over the edge… although I did skip the part about him making me come under the table at the donor party.
The timer starts buzzing before I’m ready, and Gramma has to cut me off.
“That’s your time, girl.”