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“Have a good night, Mr. Harrison,” Karen chirped.
“You, too,” he returned with a wave.
Every night had been good lately now that he had Asha. He didn’t expect tonight to be any different.
He drove home way faster than he should, anxious to get to his house and see Asha’s smiling face, wondering how he’d gotten so dependent on seeing her in such a short space of time. But he had, and having her in his life had changed the way he looked at everything now. His future was no longer bleak, and he was moving on with his life. Finally, he was starting to think less and less about the football career he had lost and more about what lay ahead in the future. He parked in front of his house with a smile on his face.
Kade was assaulted by the feeling of emptiness the moment he entered his house.
Asha’s not here.
It was odd, but he could always sense her presence. There was a feeling of lightness and joy in his home whenever Asha was present. When she wasn’t, it was vacant and oppressively lonely.
“Asha?” He called her name urgently as he checked the kitchen, only to find it empty. He bolted up the stairs, shedding his suit jacket as he went.
He immediately noticed the two large drawings on the bed, and he moved closer to study them.
The first drawing was one he recognized. It was the self-portrait that he had seen when he’d first taken Asha’s things, the picture of her yearning for a man, and the man’s face in shadow. Moving on to the next, he recognized himself right away, and he identified Asha as the woman with her head resting against his shoulder. A woman who appeared incredibly happy and satisfied.
Two pictures.
Both subjects the same.
But the emotions were completely different.
Holding them up, Kade looked at them side by side. He understood her message immediately. He’d have to be a complete idiot not to comprehend that she was telling him that he’d satisfied her needs. He replaced the pictures, his heart thundering in his chest, happy beyond belief that Asha was saying he’d made her happy. ’Cause really, that was all he wanted.
There was a note next to the pictures, and he picked it up and opened it. There was only one paragraph:
Dearest Kade,
I wanted to say good-bye in person, but I guess I’m a coward. Maybe that’s one of the many things I need to work on about myself. I couldn’t go without thanking you for everything you’ve done for me. You saved my life, but I can’t stay. I’m not strong enough for this right now, and I’m confused. I need time and space to work on my problems. You don’t deserve a woman as messed-up and broken as I am right now. Please forgive me for not telling you this in person, but I think it’s better this way. I called the hospital in Nashville to get the total of the bill. My work doesn’t cover the full amount, so I’ve left a check for the rest on your dresser. You’ll never know how much I cherish our time together, and I’ll never forget everything you’ve done for me.
Be Happy,
Asha
Kade walked to his dresser in a daze, unable to process what Asha had written. He picked up the check, absently noting that she needed to charge more for her work. It was nearly the full amount of her hospital bill. Next to the check was the phone he’d given her, and the reason that she had left it was obvious.
She wants to make sure I can’t contact her.
“She can’t really be gone,” he assured himself in a disbelieving voice.
Walking into the room across the hall, he found the clothing that Maddie and Mia had bought her. The room looked the same, but it felt different. The laptop he had gifted her was gone from the desk. The dresser drawers where she kept the clothes she wore were empty, and her suitcase was gone.
“No,” he denied emphatically, shaking his head as he stared blankly at the empty drawer he’d just opened. “She wouldn’t leave me. She said she wouldn’t.”
Ultimately, reality crept in, leaving him rooted to the carpet on the floor of her room, his whole body shuddering.
His disbelief turned to frustration and disappointment…and finally desolation. “Why? Why would she go?” he rasped, already knowing what the answer was to his question. She simply didn’t want to be withhim.
His fist crashed down on the dresser hard enough to make a mark. “Fuck! Did I really think she’d be happy with me?” he shouted loudly, devastation eating at his soul. “I’m a lame bastard with nothing to offer except money, and she doesn’t need that anymore.” Completely destroyed, he kicked out with his damaged leg, slamming it into the dresser. It hurt like hell, but the agony of losing Asha was still more acute, a fiery pain in his chest that threatened to consume him.
Limping to the bed, he sat, staring at the picture Asha had painted on this accent wall. It was a beach scene, waves crashing to the shore and a sky that seemed to stretch to infinity. Right now, Kade wished he could be in the drawing, let it swallow him up and devour him.
You can’t let this destroy you.
He tried reaching inside himself for some last reserve of strength or endurance, but he found none. There was nothing left.