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His blue eyes pierced her with a confused stare. Asha could feel Kade’s despair as he answered, “My friends. My brother and sister. I’ve learned that there are very few things that are constant in life. I was cocky, a star quarterback who had everything, and then had it ripped away in a matter of moments. I don’t count on much of anything anymore.” Looking away as though he’d said too much, Kade took another slug of his beer.
Asha felt a shiver run down her spine, all too aware of just how fleeting and rare happiness could be. She’d lived most of her life doing what she thought were her duties, her obligations as an Indian woman. Conflicted, she’d spiraled downward as the burdens began to chafe, wondering who she really was and what she was meant to do with her life. “Sometimes even the things you think are constant really aren’t,” she murmured thoughtfully.
Kade’s head jerked around to look at her again, his eyes probing. “Why? Tell me what your life was like. I can guarantee you that my sister, Mia, will be paying us a visit as soon as she knows we’re back. You can’t go on forever denying that you’re probably related to her husband. Your mother’s maiden name was the same as Max’s and Maddie’s, and there’s a good chance you’re half-siblings. They’re good people, Asha. You could have a lot worse people to call family.”
“I don’t have family,” Asha cried painfully, the words coming from her aching gut.
Kade looked at her, perplexed. “You had adoptive parents—”
“Foster parents. I was taken in by an Indian family when I was three, after my natural parents died. I was fed, clothed, and raised as an Indian woman. I went to school, but I wasn’t allowed to have American friends. I was married at the age of eighteen by arrangement to an Indian man who wanted to immigrate to the United States, a cousin to my foster parents,” she finished breathlessly, hardly able to believe she was spilling her guts to Kade. He did that to her, made her want to tell him exactly how she felt because she knew he wouldn’t judge her. It felt strange, being able to actually talk to a man about her feelings.
“Did you love him?” Kade asked huskily.
Asha lowered her eyes, staring blankly at her bottle of water and playing with the label on it nervously. “I didn’t know him, didn’t even meet him until we married.”
“What kind of fucked-up deal is that?” Kade asked angrily. “You were sold?”
Shame washed over her as she answered in a whisper, “Not exactly. My foster parents had financial difficulties. How could I not do what they wanted? It was expected of me. They had fed and clothed me for fifteen years. They were counting on me to help them. My ex-husband Ravi’s family had some money. My foster parents had debt. Ravi’s family was willing to give them the money and settle their debt in exchange for his marriage to me.”
“It’s no different than being sold,” Kade grumbled, knocking his chair over as he rose and moved around the table, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet. “No woman should feel she has to marry. Did you fall in love with him after you were married?”
Asha looked up at Kade, unable to lie to him. “No,” she whispered. “We were married for seven years and I brought him nothing but disappointment.”
“What?” Kade exploded. “How could you disappoint any man?”
“I was a bad bargain for him. He wanted a child, a son. And I was never able to conceive. He got checked and he was fertile. I…wasn’t,” she answered, agony spilling from her words. “He was a very traditional Indian man and didn’t believe in divorce. But I had to leave the marriage. It wasn’t…good,” she whispered huskily, shuddering as she added, “I divorced him.”
“And he left you destitute?” Kade asked angrily, but his touch was gentle as he clasped her by the shoulders.
“It was my choice. I didn’t think past escaping. I wanted out. I had to get out.” Asha finished on a sob, her heart feeling like it had been torn from her chest. Had there ever been a time in her life where she hadn’t felt unwanted, unloved? If there was, she couldn’t remember it. She’d been happier since her divorce—traveling from place to place, taking jobs where she could get them—than she’d ever been in her entire life. Yes, she’d been alone, scrambling to survive, but the physical and emotional pain had subsided, and she felt like she had almost regained her sanity. “My foster parents no longer speak to me. Divorce isn’t something that’s accepted well in Indian culture, and I didn’t fulfill the agreement my foster father made with my ex-husband.”
Kade backed her up against the kitchen counter, his eyes flashing blue fire. “You’re a woman. A beautiful, talented woman. You aren’t a possession to be sold. Fuck! What kind of man does something like that? How can any of them sleep at night not knowing whether or not you’re safe and happy?”
Asha bowed her head. “I humiliated all of them. They don’t care.” Tears started flowing down her cheeks unchecked, her bottled-up emotions exploding from their hiding place.
Kade grasped her chin and forced her head up. His expression was fierce as he answered tightly. “No woman should ever be sold off and they had no right to expect anything from you. Their problems weren’t yours. They took on the responsibility of being foster parents willingly. And they got money to take care of you. That’s probably why they never adopted you. You were barely grown when they sold you off. You should have had the opportunity to live, to get an education if you wanted it. Dammit, you should have had choices!”
Asha watched Kade’s ferocious expression, but she wasn’t afraid. He was actually championing her, defending her rights as a woman. Unfortunately, he didn’t understand Indian culture. “I might be American, but I was raised Indian, Kade. We’re motivated by duty and guilt.” Was that dysfunctional? Yep. But it was hard to shake the things she’d been taught as a child and a young woman. It had taken her twenty-five years to be brave enough to break from tradition and escape a horrific marriage, and it still wasn’t easy. Shame and guilt still haunted her sometimes. “Since my divorce, I’ve tried to break free and find the American side of my heritage. But it’s still difficult sometimes. I move around a lot and it’s hard to make friends. I’m still learning to be an American.”
Kade moved closer, crowding her, his muscular, hot body pressed against hers. His arms enfolded her as he whispered hotly against her temple, “And was it all a duty? Was being married a duty? Or did your ex love you?”
Asha shuddered, unable to keep herself from wrapping her arms around Kade’s neck as her tears continued to fall. “He didn’t love me. He wanted a child,” she murmured against his chest. “He couldn’t divorce me, but I wasn’t what he wanted. He went into rages over the situation and it made the marriage difficult. Image was everything to him, and I couldn’t provide him with a family.”
Kade’s jaw muscles were twitching, his body tensed as he said hoarsely, “Please tell me he didn’t hurt you. Tell me he never laid a finger on you or blamed you.”
Asha lowered her head. “I can’t. It would be a lie, and you’ve done too much for me to lie to you. You were right. I was running away. I’ve been running since I left him.”
“Is he threatening you? Has he contacted you?” Kade asked anxiously, his tone furious.
“I don’t think he knows where I am and I doubt he cares. He contacted a few of my former clients where we lived in California looking for me, so I hid until the divorce was final and then I ran. I’ve been traveling ever since then,” she admitted quietly. “It got bad when I started taking on jobs. He didn’t want me to work outside the home.”
“What about your website?”
“He didn’t know,” Asha admitted. “He would have put a stop to it.”
Kade pulled his head back and tilted her chin to look at her face. “Tell me where he is,” he demanded, his voice low and deadly. “I’ll kill the bastard.”
“No!” Asha exclaimed loudly. “All I want is peace. I want to forget. Please.” The fact that this man would defend her made her chest tighten in gratitude, but she didn’t want Kade involved in her past. “It’s over. I’m free. That’s all I ever wanted.”
Asha felt a shiver run down her spine, all too aware of just how fleeting and rare happiness could be. She’d lived most of her life doing what she thought were her duties, her obligations as an Indian woman. Conflicted, she’d spiraled downward as the burdens began to chafe, wondering who she really was and what she was meant to do with her life. “Sometimes even the things you think are constant really aren’t,” she murmured thoughtfully.
Kade’s head jerked around to look at her again, his eyes probing. “Why? Tell me what your life was like. I can guarantee you that my sister, Mia, will be paying us a visit as soon as she knows we’re back. You can’t go on forever denying that you’re probably related to her husband. Your mother’s maiden name was the same as Max’s and Maddie’s, and there’s a good chance you’re half-siblings. They’re good people, Asha. You could have a lot worse people to call family.”
“I don’t have family,” Asha cried painfully, the words coming from her aching gut.
Kade looked at her, perplexed. “You had adoptive parents—”
“Foster parents. I was taken in by an Indian family when I was three, after my natural parents died. I was fed, clothed, and raised as an Indian woman. I went to school, but I wasn’t allowed to have American friends. I was married at the age of eighteen by arrangement to an Indian man who wanted to immigrate to the United States, a cousin to my foster parents,” she finished breathlessly, hardly able to believe she was spilling her guts to Kade. He did that to her, made her want to tell him exactly how she felt because she knew he wouldn’t judge her. It felt strange, being able to actually talk to a man about her feelings.
“Did you love him?” Kade asked huskily.
Asha lowered her eyes, staring blankly at her bottle of water and playing with the label on it nervously. “I didn’t know him, didn’t even meet him until we married.”
“What kind of fucked-up deal is that?” Kade asked angrily. “You were sold?”
Shame washed over her as she answered in a whisper, “Not exactly. My foster parents had financial difficulties. How could I not do what they wanted? It was expected of me. They had fed and clothed me for fifteen years. They were counting on me to help them. My ex-husband Ravi’s family had some money. My foster parents had debt. Ravi’s family was willing to give them the money and settle their debt in exchange for his marriage to me.”
“It’s no different than being sold,” Kade grumbled, knocking his chair over as he rose and moved around the table, taking her hand and pulling her to her feet. “No woman should feel she has to marry. Did you fall in love with him after you were married?”
Asha looked up at Kade, unable to lie to him. “No,” she whispered. “We were married for seven years and I brought him nothing but disappointment.”
“What?” Kade exploded. “How could you disappoint any man?”
“I was a bad bargain for him. He wanted a child, a son. And I was never able to conceive. He got checked and he was fertile. I…wasn’t,” she answered, agony spilling from her words. “He was a very traditional Indian man and didn’t believe in divorce. But I had to leave the marriage. It wasn’t…good,” she whispered huskily, shuddering as she added, “I divorced him.”
“And he left you destitute?” Kade asked angrily, but his touch was gentle as he clasped her by the shoulders.
“It was my choice. I didn’t think past escaping. I wanted out. I had to get out.” Asha finished on a sob, her heart feeling like it had been torn from her chest. Had there ever been a time in her life where she hadn’t felt unwanted, unloved? If there was, she couldn’t remember it. She’d been happier since her divorce—traveling from place to place, taking jobs where she could get them—than she’d ever been in her entire life. Yes, she’d been alone, scrambling to survive, but the physical and emotional pain had subsided, and she felt like she had almost regained her sanity. “My foster parents no longer speak to me. Divorce isn’t something that’s accepted well in Indian culture, and I didn’t fulfill the agreement my foster father made with my ex-husband.”
Kade backed her up against the kitchen counter, his eyes flashing blue fire. “You’re a woman. A beautiful, talented woman. You aren’t a possession to be sold. Fuck! What kind of man does something like that? How can any of them sleep at night not knowing whether or not you’re safe and happy?”
Asha bowed her head. “I humiliated all of them. They don’t care.” Tears started flowing down her cheeks unchecked, her bottled-up emotions exploding from their hiding place.
Kade grasped her chin and forced her head up. His expression was fierce as he answered tightly. “No woman should ever be sold off and they had no right to expect anything from you. Their problems weren’t yours. They took on the responsibility of being foster parents willingly. And they got money to take care of you. That’s probably why they never adopted you. You were barely grown when they sold you off. You should have had the opportunity to live, to get an education if you wanted it. Dammit, you should have had choices!”
Asha watched Kade’s ferocious expression, but she wasn’t afraid. He was actually championing her, defending her rights as a woman. Unfortunately, he didn’t understand Indian culture. “I might be American, but I was raised Indian, Kade. We’re motivated by duty and guilt.” Was that dysfunctional? Yep. But it was hard to shake the things she’d been taught as a child and a young woman. It had taken her twenty-five years to be brave enough to break from tradition and escape a horrific marriage, and it still wasn’t easy. Shame and guilt still haunted her sometimes. “Since my divorce, I’ve tried to break free and find the American side of my heritage. But it’s still difficult sometimes. I move around a lot and it’s hard to make friends. I’m still learning to be an American.”
Kade moved closer, crowding her, his muscular, hot body pressed against hers. His arms enfolded her as he whispered hotly against her temple, “And was it all a duty? Was being married a duty? Or did your ex love you?”
Asha shuddered, unable to keep herself from wrapping her arms around Kade’s neck as her tears continued to fall. “He didn’t love me. He wanted a child,” she murmured against his chest. “He couldn’t divorce me, but I wasn’t what he wanted. He went into rages over the situation and it made the marriage difficult. Image was everything to him, and I couldn’t provide him with a family.”
Kade’s jaw muscles were twitching, his body tensed as he said hoarsely, “Please tell me he didn’t hurt you. Tell me he never laid a finger on you or blamed you.”
Asha lowered her head. “I can’t. It would be a lie, and you’ve done too much for me to lie to you. You were right. I was running away. I’ve been running since I left him.”
“Is he threatening you? Has he contacted you?” Kade asked anxiously, his tone furious.
“I don’t think he knows where I am and I doubt he cares. He contacted a few of my former clients where we lived in California looking for me, so I hid until the divorce was final and then I ran. I’ve been traveling ever since then,” she admitted quietly. “It got bad when I started taking on jobs. He didn’t want me to work outside the home.”
“What about your website?”
“He didn’t know,” Asha admitted. “He would have put a stop to it.”
Kade pulled his head back and tilted her chin to look at her face. “Tell me where he is,” he demanded, his voice low and deadly. “I’ll kill the bastard.”
“No!” Asha exclaimed loudly. “All I want is peace. I want to forget. Please.” The fact that this man would defend her made her chest tighten in gratitude, but she didn’t want Kade involved in her past. “It’s over. I’m free. That’s all I ever wanted.”
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