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Asha stared at his handsome face above her. He looked a little bit wild, but vulnerable too. Her heart clenched, realizing that he thought she was leaving him now that she now had money to help her along. Did he think that was the only reason she had been with him, that she had only used him?
“Goddammit, Asha! Haven’t you figured out yet that you’re more than a guest?” Kade grumbled.
“Then what am I?” she asked curiously, searching his face.
Your friend?
Your lover?
Girlfriend?Asha knew that one was a stretch, but Kade wasn’t a guy who talked a whole lot about the future or his emotions.
“You’re my fucking sanity,” Kade rumbled above her. “You’re the reason I stopped escaping into the pain pills I was taking.”
Asha let out a tremulous breath, staring at Kade in surprise. “I thought you stopped before we met.”
“I did. I stopped as soon as I started searching for you. I couldn’t afford for my senses to be dulled. I needed to be in reality. You were smart. You challenged me, even though I didn’t know at the time that you were running because you were scared.”
“But the challenge is over,” Asha answered, confused.
“Hardly,” Kade answered drily. “You challenge me every single day. Watching the woman you are—all the energy and joy you put into every project you do and give to every person you meet—makes me want to be a better man.”
Putting her palm against the side of his face and letting it stroke down to his whiskered jaw, she said adamantly, “You’re already good.” Kade was starting to find purpose in his life without her, and he was mistaken in thinking she had anything to do with his inherent decentness. It was just…him. And she had no doubt that she had very little to do with Kade’s return to reality. He was strong, stubborn, and determined. He might have used pain meds as a temporary escape, but he would have broken free of them in his own time.
“I guess we just found another thing I’m good at vertically,” Kade said huskily, and with a wicked grin. “Did I hurt you?” he asked anxiously.
Kade was blowing off serious emotional issues again, but Asha couldn’t help but smile. “No. It was incredible.”
“So you like to get a little down and dirty once in a while. Who would have imagined?” Kade answered in a pseudo shocked voice. Rolling to his back, he brought her back on top of him, palming her naked ass to keep her there.
Asha sighed, the feel of them skin-to-skin making her want to purr like a contented kitten. “A little?” she questioned skeptically.
“Sweetheart, there’s a lot further down and a lot more dirty than what we just did,” Kade said in a graveled voice.
“There is?” Asha couldn’t keep the tinge of excitement from her voice. “Maybe I need to get some books or instructional DVDs. I think I must have missed a lot of my sex education. I’ve never even seen the Kama Sutra,” she said teasingly.
Kade squeezed her ass cheeks, pulling her completely over him. “No need. I’ve read it. I’d be more than happy to corrupt and instruct you, Ms. Paritala. You’ve been far too good.”
Matching his buoyant mood, she replied cheekily, “I have to be good or Santa will give me coal in my stocking.”
“Has he done that before?” Kade asked pensively.
“I’ve never had a stocking before,” Asha answered honestly. “I’ve never actually celebrated Christmas. And this was the first Thanksgiving I’ve ever celebrated. We only acknowledged Indian holidays, and I didn’t really participate in my foster family’s celebrations.”
“No, you wouldn’t have, would you?” Kade barked angrily. “You were their fucking servant.”
Asha couldn’t deny it. She was just grateful for her freedom. Her life was changing, and that was enough. “I’m starting new this year. I’m putting a Christmas tree and my stocking up.” Christmas might be a religious holiday, and she wasn’t sure what religion she really wanted to be, but she could celebrate just for the joy of the holiday.
Kade sat up abruptly and cradled her on his lap. “I’ll be your Santa. Sit in my lap naked like this and tell Santa Kade everything you want. I guarantee you’ll get everything you ask for and more.”
Asha giggled, delighted by the sudden, playful change in his demeanor. “I’d wish for you to teach me the finer points of getting down and dirty.”
Kade’s eyes were shooting flames as he looked down at her. “Santa Kade rewards naughtiness,” he said in a husky voice. “Feel free to misbehave.”
Asha eyed him dubiously. “That’s not the way it works. I may not have celebrated before, but I do live in America.” Kade was adorable when he was mussed and playful, and Asha couldn’t resist the lure of playing with him. She only had a short time left with him, and she wanted to have this day to remember. She could give herself at least that much. She knew she had to leave, for Kade’s sake as well as her own. They both needed time and distance to figure out their feelings. And she needed to become a whole person.
“My rules. My Christmas.” He grinned sinfully down at her.
“Okay, Santa. Let’s start racking up those reward points,” she answered in a sultry whisper.