Page 118

How could she tell him that it was even braver of him to sacrifice himself for Simon? He’d submitted to the pain and humiliation to keep his younger brother from being a victim, his father getting payment in drugs and alcohol for the use of his son’s body.
Sam released a masculine sigh. “I heard the men talking with my father one night, trying to make a deal. They were a bunch of sick bastards from the organization who got their rocks off by screwing young boys. They wanted Simon because he was young, helpless. My father was going to do it; he was going to let them do that to Simon. Goddammit. How can a man sacrifice his kid like that for any reason?” Sam’s chest was heaving as he continued, “Simon was in fucking grade school, still so damn innocent and young. I told my father I’d kill him if he touched Simon and he said he had already agreed and we’d all be in danger if he didn’t deliver. So I let the bastard give me over to them instead.”
Maddie ran her hand gently up his cheek and through his curls. Her sweet, protective, courageous man had intrepidly offered himself in place of his younger brother. “They hurt you,” she whispered, tears coming to her eyes.
“I didn’t want you to know, Maddie.” His voice was strangled, his torment over talking about it apparent. “You asked me how I got the scars on my back. I got them when it hurt so badly that I fought them. I let them do it, but most of the time they had to beat me into submission.”
“My poor Sam. I love you, baby. I hate the pain you suffered and if I could find those men, I would probably kill them. Screw my Hippocratic Oath,” she answered harshly. “It wasn’t your fault. You were so very heroic and brave. And youweremolested, raped, and assaulted. It does matter that you submitted to it to save Simon that pain. It makes it even more heartbreaking.” Maddie ended on a sob she couldn’t suppress.
“Don’t cry. Please. It was a long time ago,” Sam answered hesitantly, letting go of her hand and putting a muscular arm around her and tugging her along his side.
“Don’t. You’re in pain,” Maddie warned him sternly.
“It will hurt more if you struggle,” he answered. “And it hurts worse to not have you close to me.”
Maddie’s heart melted, and she tried to lay as still as possible against him. “Does Simon know?” she asked tentatively.
“No. Nobody knows except my counselor and now you. My mother would hate herself for it and so would Simon.”
“Did the counseling help?”
“Yeah. For most of the problems. I guess I haven’t quite gotten over being touched. I usually tried so hard to please a woman that she never really cared whether she touched me back or not,” he told her honestly.
“I care. I want to touch you, Sam. I want to please you,” Maddie told him in a loving, warm voice. “When we were younger, I was confused. I thought you wanted me, but you wouldn’t take me to bed.”
“I wanted you,” he growled, pulling her close to him. “I was serious when I said I’ve dreamed about it for years. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, but I felt dirty and soiled, not worthy of having you.”
“And now?” she questioned, propping herself up on one arm and running her hand lightly over his ripped chest.
“Now I can’t fucking help myself. You had your chance to find a better man. You’re stuck with me,” he answered, his hand stroking over her curls, massaging her scalp. “You agreed to marry me.”
“There is no better man for me, Sam.” Maddie ran her finger lightly down his chest, making butterfly patterns on his abdomen with her finger.
“Either stop touching me or you’re going to be flat on your back in five seconds,” Sam cautioned her in a voice filled with desire.
“Don’t you hurt?” she questioned, her light touch stopping at the waistband of his boxers.
“The only thing that really aches is my cock right now. And it isn’t from falling down the stairs. Jesus, Maddie. All I have to do is think about you, smell you, feel your touch and I’m ready to be inside you.” Sam groaned, his hand coming down to cover hers.
“You’re not having sex right now. You’re beat up too badly. It won’t be pleasant,” she told him sternly.
“It will be hell if I don’t,” he quipped. “I need you too damn badly.”
“I want to touch you,” she whispered, loosening her hand from his and slipping it under his boxers. “Will you let me? Please. I want you to just lay there and be still. I’ll take care of you. Can you do that?”
Maddie held her breath, knowing he would either trust her or he wouldn’t. With his past, she knew it wouldn’t be easy.
“If you touch me, I doubt I can be still,” he warned her with forced amusement, taking his hand away and locking them both behind his head. “But I’ll try. I trust you, Sunshine.”
She released her breath in an audible sigh, her hand sliding farther into his underwear to connect with his rock hard cock. She smoothed her fingers over the velvet softness of the skin encasing his large member, using her index finger to softly spread a droplet of moisture on the head around the sensitive area.
Maddie felt Sam’s body tense, so she kept her touch light, spreading kisses along his temple and whispering into his ear, “You feel so good. So hard. So masculine. I’ve wanted to touch you for so long.”
“Fuck. Maddie,” he said in an agonized groan.
“Yes,” she breathed softly into his ear.
“Your touch feels so good. So different,” Sam choked out harshly. “No pain.”