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The words scrolled beneath the drawing hit Kade with a visceral reaction:
Someone! Someday! Somewhere!
Damned if Kade didn’t want to be the mystery man in shadow, the guy to kiss the woman breathless, provide the passion he could sense she desperately wanted. He knew exactly how she felt; he’d felt the same way. In fact, hestillfelt like that every time he saw his little sister Mia and her husband Max together, or his friends, Sam and Maddie, and Simon and Kara. All of them had found their mates, the person who made them feel whole, and the happiness that surrounded those couples was almost ball-bustingly painful for a man like him who felt so alone, so solitary. He was damned happy for all of them—every one of them deserved to be happy—but it wasn’t easy not to feel lost, not to mention a little odd, when he was around them. He just didn’t roll that way, and he kept his emotions in check. He’d been conditioned to keep a grip on himself since he was a child, and he’d learned to keep a handle on himself throughout his football career. It was too vital for him to stay cool and detached. Letting his emotions rule him would have meant mistakes, and he’d rarely made errors when he was on a football field. Besides, a guy coming from a father as crazy as his had to have control. He and his siblings had all tried to never do anything that could be misconstrued as the least bit emotional or out of the ordinary. It was their way of trying to separate themselves from their sire.
Kade sighed heavily and continued to stare at the picture, wondering what it was like to feel that type of passion. Yeah. Sure. He liked sex. What guy didn’t? But the desire was short-lived and easily resolved. Granted, he hadn’t had to resolvethatproblem for two years. There was something about nearly losing a leg and two years of grueling rehabilitation that pushed that particular desire onto the back burner.
The woman’s not real. It’s just a picture.
Kade closed the drawing pad with more force than necessary, disgusted with himself. He’d never been a romantic sort of guy. He was a jock. He’d been with Amy since college, and she’d hated open displays of affection. The only things she’d ever really liked were the expensive gifts he’d lavished on her and the extravagant parties he was forced to attend because of his celebrity status and endorsements. And now that he was lame, he wasn’t the type of guy to ever have a woman look at him like he was the only man in the world for her, wealthy or not. Not that any woman everhadlooked at him that way, even before he’d fucked up his leg. He was, after all, one of those crazy Harrisons with the old man who had offed his own wife. Although a woman might appreciate his monetary assets, he was fairly certain no woman would covethim. He was damaged goods, unable to ever play football again—the one thing that had made him feel valuable. He might have money, but that was aboutallhe had to give anymore. Honestly, maybe it had always been that way for him; maybe he just wasn’t capable of having a woman who felt that way about him. He wasn’t exactlyanywoman’s ideal of a knight in shining armor and he was pretty doubtful that he was entitled to own that kind of love. He’d had a batshit crazy old man who beat up his kids and his wife often, and his father had eventually killed Kade’s mother, and then himself. Was there ever a happily ever after for a fucked-up and dysfunctional family like his? Mostly, all he, Travis, and Mia had concentrated on was survival.
Mia found her happily ever after with Max. She’s happy now.
Kade released a heavy breath and stuffed Asha’s meager belongings back into her bag. His younger sister, Mia,washappy. But her road to bliss had been pretty damn rocky. His sibling deserved every bit of happiness she now had with her husband, Max. God knew she’d suffered dearly for it.
Kade wished his older twin, Travis, could find some peace, but Kade knew that he and Travis shared the same darkness, a dimness of their souls that would probably always keep them isolated and alone. Travis wore his blackness like a mantle; Kade tried to hide his own. But it was still there, the yawning, dark emptiness that never went away; his accident had only made it worse, blacker and emptier than it had ever been before. His football career had kept him busy, given him a purpose. Without that, there was nothing that stood between him and the shadowy memories of his past.
I’m different. I’m just not cut out for a relationship any deeper than what I had with Amy.
He’d always known his relationship with Amy had been superficial, but it had always suited both of them. What the hell did he know about love? He was fairly certain he wasn’t even capable of really loving a woman. Since his break-up with Amy, he’d been alone. Strangely, he didn’t feel much different than when he was in the relationship. Her cruel words had hurt, but had he really expected anything different? He’d broken all the unspoken rules of their relationship when he’d had his accident, and his recovery had taken close to two years. Had he really expected her to stick it out with him, to stay by his side when everything had changed? Amy was a beautiful supermodel, and she hadn’t signed on to take care of a critically ill man and then two years of rehabilitation. She’d wanted the parties, the expensive presents, the recognition of being the girlfriend of a famous quarterback, a man who didn’t walk with a limp and count his blessings every damn day that he actually stillhadhis right leg. Not surprisingly, she’d taken up with another rising star quarterback soon after his accident—ironically, one he’d introduced her to at a party—and never looked back.
Kade rolled off the bed and stood up, telling himself that it didn’t really matter. He’d always had Travis and his friends while he was recovering. The rehab was over and his life was moving on. He had Mia back in the family fold again after having gone missing for two years, and he had a favor to do for Max—a favor that he was determined to see through to the very end. Kade knew that Max would be haunted by not knowing if Asha was his lost sibling or not, so he’d agreed to go find Asha Paritala and discover the truth. It wasn’t like he had much else to do since his days as a quarterback were over, and the distraction had been a good one, something he’d desperately needed.
I needed something to take my mind off the fact that I’ll never play football again.Kade was dealing with that reality, rationalizing every single day to accept it. So what if he missed his football career as much as he would miss the air that he breathed if it were suddenly taken away? It wasn’t as if he could have played football forever. He just wished he hadn’t had to end a career he’d loved so abruptly and so damn soon. He’d only been thirty years old, and still would have had a lot of good years ahead of him. And he’d been a good quarterback. Damn good. Football had been a very big part of his life for so long that he felt like he was just drifting now, as though he wasn’t quite sure what heshouldbe doing. He owned Harrison Corporation along with Travis, but his twin had run Harrison so smoothly when Kade was playing football, that he now felt unneeded in his own company. Travis liked control, and Kade really had no reason not to give it to him. His brother spent most of his time in the Harrison offices, but it was by choice, a diversion for Travis. They had competent upper management, and Travis didn’t need to spend every waking moment in the office, but it was his brother’s way of controlling his life, burying the pain of his past in work.
Kade knew he was really no different than Travis, football always being his escape, even when he was a kid. Winning a college football scholarship to play in Michigan had been one of the best things that had ever happened to him at the age of eighteen, taking him far away from the craziness of his life in Tampa. He’d come back to Florida to play as a pro because they’d made the best offer, but he’d spent half of his time on the road and the other half practicing. He’d purchased a beautiful home in Tampa years ago, but he’d rarely spent any time there until he’d had his accident. Amy had lived her own life in a luxury condo that Kade had paid for, refusing to take up residence with him unless he married her. Now, he was pretty sure that she was thanking her lucky stars that he hadn’t been ready for marriage.
Walking to the mini-bar, Kade reached into the small fridge and pulled out a beer. Screwing off the top, he took a large swig and thumbed through the room service menu. He was starving, and he managed to order up about half the menu items before he finished placing his order.
Restless, he took a quick shower and changed into a worn pair of jeans and an orange buttoned-down shirt with dancing rabbits of various colors decorating the material. Kade smiled, knowing Travis would hate his new shirt and Mia would tease him to death about it, but he didn’t care. He’d started out wearing gaudy shirts when he was an adolescent to amuse Mia. Living in their family madness, Kade would have done just about anything to make his little sister smile, since there had been very little to smile about when they were kids. Now, he wore the shirts because he actually liked them. They had become a part of him over the years, a small thing that seemed to lighten some of the shadows inside him. The guys on the team had ribbed him endlessly, but if there was one thing that Kadewasn’tinsecure about, it was his manhood. He basically told them all to kiss his ass and wore whatever he wanted to make himself happy. After a while, his teammates had seen his attire as a source of entertainment, every one of them waiting to see what he’d wear next so they could give him hell about it. Really, Amy had been the only one who truly hated them, and she’d refused to be seen with him unless he was dressed in what she considered “normal clothes.”
Kade was just reaching for another beer when there was a knock on his door. Chucking the beer top in the trash, he took a long slug of his drink, fumbled with the bolt on the door and swung it open.
He froze, every muscle in his body seizing up all at once. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, drowning in the chocolate-dark, wide eyes staring back at him from the doorway. Kade was stunned, his heart rate accelerating until it was pounding in his ears, the air leaving his lungs in a heavywhoosh,feeling like he’d taken a hard kick to the gut after a particularly rough quarterback sack.
Definitelynothis food arriving from room service!
Kade had no doubt that the woman in front of him was Asha Paritala, but she wasn’t at all what he’d expected. She was dressed in a tie-dye shirt, the orange almost matching the shade he was wearing. Teal and green intermingled with the tangerine color of her top, making her look like an exotic flower. Long, flowing blue-black hair fell below her shoulders and down her back—straight, beautiful, and making him itch to reach out and touch it to see if it was as silky as it appeared. Her creamy skin was such a contrast to her dark hair and eyes that she looked like an exotic wet dream.
He had an instant hard-on as the scent of jasmine surrounded him, making him hard enough to cut through steel. She moved cautiously into the room when he held the door wider.
“Asha?” he croaked, his mouth still dry, his adrenaline beginning to course through his body. She was average height for a woman, but he dwarfed her. Still, she looked fragile, like the slightest breeze would blow her away. Obviously, her looks were deceptive. After all, she’d led him on a merry chase for the last two months.
“What do you want?” she asked impatiently, her eyes flashing dark fire.
Kade closed the door.You! I want you underneath me, on top of me, or any other way you want it.Aloud, he answered, “My name is Kade Harrison. I’ve been looking for you. Didn’t you get my messages?”
Ignoring his question, she answered, “You stole my things. You’re a thief.” Her tone was hostile, but her expression still showed her apprehension.
“I’m not a thief. I was desperate and trying to get you to talk to me. And I wouldn’t have left my contact information if I was trying to rip you off,” Kade answered defensively. Honestly, he wasstilldesperate, only now it was a whole different kind of desperation. His libido, which had been running low while he was recovering from his accident, had finally awakened with a vengeance and taken complete control of his body.
She went and picked up her tattered cloth bag, hefting it over her shoulder after checking the contents. She stopped right in front of him, her deep brown eyes angry, but also showing a hint of vulnerability and fear. “Just tell me why you’ve been following me. Are you some kind of crazy stalker?”
Kade felt his anger rise up at the thought of anyone causing this woman distress, and some personal annoyance that Asha obviously thought he was some kind of psycho. “No. Is someone stalking you?”
Their eyes locked, and she searched his face, as though she were looking for the truth. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “But I know someone has been following me. I’m assuming it’s been you. And yeah, I got some messages that didn’t make any sense to me. Did you really expect me to answer you? I don’t even know you. What do you want from me?”
It was a loaded question that he could have answered in many different ways because of the unusual response his body was having to her presence, but none of them were quite appropriate at the moment. More than likely, any one of the answers that came immediately to mind would have her running away screaming. Kade dug into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, chagrined that he’d frightened her by following her. She’d been running away from fear, a woman alone who didn’t like an unknown guy following her. It had never occurred to him that she might be scared of him, and for some reason, he didn’t like that thought. Holding up a picture of Maddie and Max, he said, “It was me. I’m doing a favor for friends. We think there’s a possibility that you could be related to my brother-in-law and his sister. I’ve been trying to track you down for almost two months. I’m not trying to hurt you. I just wanted to talk to you.”