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“Well, I’m not surprised,” he says, picking up his clipboard. “Everyone knows any of the leagues would bechomping at the bit to get you. And it’s not like I didn’t know this is what you’ve been waiting for.”

Is it though?People keep saying this like it’s a no-brainer, like it’s common fucking knowledge but I can confidently say it was never something I thought twice about. If it were something that I desperately wanted, I would have already packed my shit and been on the first flight out of here.

I didn’t expect to enjoy coaching these kids the way I have. I didn’t expect to fall back in with my family and friends the way I have. I didn’t expect to be able to be close to this sport but okay with not playing it. I didn’t expect to be this happy back here. And I didn’t expect to fall in love with the girl up in the corner room.

I can’t give up everything I have now.

The roarof laughter and conversation could be heard from outside the main house tonight. The entire town is already gathered around the table as Ryder carries in the last serving dish. This dinner is a tradition my parents have had since before I was born. Once a month, my mum cooks an early dinner for the guests, does a quick clean-up, and then hosts a special town feast. It’s a time for the family and friends of Stoney Meadow to get together, swap stories, laugh, and catch up. When I stumble in a little late—after picking apart my earlier conversation with Coach—my chest does a little flutter when I spot Taylor sitting in what has become her usual seat and I feel weightless as I pull out the chair beside her, knowing that's she’s exactly where she’s supposed to be.

“Nova,” I greet her, dipping my chin to kiss her. At thelast second, she turns her head, and my lips smush against her cheek. I blink once before pulling back but she doesn’t look at me.

There's a sinkingfeeling in my stomach throughout all of dinner and it has nothing to do with the mass amount of food my mom cooked. Group conversations and side conversations take place while Taylor continues to give a weary smile and push her food around her plate. That alone is enough to put me on high alert, I’ve never seen Taylor not thoroughly enjoy eating the food she’s cooked.

“So Knox, I heard you got a call to go back and join your old team?” My dad asks.

I look between Liam and Coach Campbell. Coach pauses, wide-eyed before shoving a spoonful of pork and potatoes into his mouth and Liam watches his plate with intense focus.

“Uh, yeah,” I mumble, dragging my napkin over my mouth and clearing my throat. “They offered me a position with their strength and conditioning staff.”

I actually feel my Adam's apple bob when I swallow, looking around the table. Ryder’s fork is floating halfway to his mouth and all eyes are on me, with the exception of Taylor’s.

“And did you accept it?” my dad asks, either unaware of the awkwardness that's blanketed the table, or he just doesn’t care.

“Not yet.”

“Are you going to?”

I look around the table again at Liam and Dax sitting across from me, with my little sister between them. I look down at my mom, who’s smiling through a light sheen in her eyes. Twenty-plus people gather around this table, all ofwhom care about where I’ll end up, but the only opinion that matters to me is that of the five-foot-ten-inch, green-eyed woman with the heart of a lion next to me.

“Probably not,” I say, not bothering to look back at my dad.

“Have you told them that yet?”

“I haven’t,” I admit. But I’m as good as going to. For the first time in my life, I’ve been living. I haven’t shut the world and the people around me out for rugby. I have the things I told Ronan were so important. For weeks, some part of me has wanted to respond to that e-mail sayingthanks, but no thanks.But I haven’t responded for the very same reason that I haven’t called them back all these weeks. I have to be one thousand percent certain about this decision because, as he so graciously pointed out, I might not ever get this opportunity again. I also want not only Henderson to know but my family as well, so when I did respond, it wasn’t without thought.

I cover Taylor’s hand under the table with my own, silently telling herI’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I’m here. We’ll talk about it. I’m not taking it.She pulls her hand up to the table and runs her fingers along the rim of her plate, where they stay for the remainder of dinner.

“Ahhh, Isla,”Liam groans, stretching his arms up before dropping one over the back of Liv’s chairs. “That was incredible, but I’m so full.”

“Thank you, Liam. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.” Sophie and Max stand from where they were sitting down by my mum.

“Don’t forget, Craic and Clover are playing tonight,” Liam says to the table before turning back to me, drumming his index fingers on the table. “You two coming?”

I look to Taylor who hasn’t said a word or even looked in my direction all night. A night out in a loud bar is the last thing we need.

“I’m actually going to head up and get to bed early tonight, I’m feeling super drained.”Okay,that’sthe last thing we need.“But you go and have fun.”

It’s the first words she has spoken to me all night.

“Thank you for dinner, Isla,” she says. They exchange a pinched smile as Taylor backs out of her seat and makes her way around the table.

Not for the first time tonight, all eyes are on me. Some questioning, some concerned, but it’s Liv’s bulging eyes as she flicks her head in the direction Taylor scurried off in that has me jumping from the table and taking the stairs up to her room two at a time.

“Taylor.” I catch her just as she fits the key into the lock. She doesn’t stop though, and as soon as the door opens, I catch a glimpse into her room and find a pile of clothes covering the chair in the corner, and unmade bed, and the dresser littered with various cups, I know once she goes in there my chances of talking to her are gone. “Wait.” I step up, pressing my forearm to the door before she gets a chance to slam it in my face. “What’s wrong?”

Stupid fucking question.

“Nothing,” she says, not meeting my eyes.