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“Nice to meet you, Ava. Did you go to school with everyone, too?”

“We went to secondary school together,” she says, reaching for one of the shot glasses. “I booked my first modeling gig at fifteen so I stopped going by senior cycle. Too much traveling to keep up with school.”

“That’s amazing. I’ve always wanted to travel. Liv said you just recently moved back?”

“I’ve been back a handful of times throughout the years, I could never stay away for too long, but yeah. I’m home for good now.”

“What made you decide to come back?”

“You just can’t beat this place, you know? As excited as I was to leave, I’ve always been more excited at the idea of coming home.” I want to tell her she’s corny, and to save her quotes about“Home is a feeling not a place.”But after having lived here for almost a month, I understand. If this were my home—I don’t even let myself finish the thought. I reach over, grab a shot glass, and hold it out to her.

“To finding your way home.”

“No matter where it ends up being,” she counters, raising a knowing brow to me. I throw my head back and my throat closes tightly, burning.

And then I take my shot.

“Say tekilla!”I smile, stretching my arm out to take a picture of Liv and me. “That’s a good one, look.”

“Awe, would you send that to me?”

“Of course.” My head lulls on the seat back behind me as Patrick drives us back to Liv’s house. I open my photo album searching for the other photos I snagged of her tonight. I sit up when I go back a little too far and find the picture I took of Knox with the hammer over his head at the fair. He looks like a dark-haired, flannel-wearing, bearded Thor in that picture. The one before that is a selfie of us at the wedding—my silk green dress pressed up against his immaculate grey suit. I scroll back through some pastry pictures I took to send to Camila, some of the herbs from Isla’s garden house, and one of the many I have of the view from my room. My thumb drags down once more, before a smile tugging at my lips when I find the photo from the day at the cliffs. Knox wears a full toothy grin behind me, while I sit there smiling with a strand of hair floating across my upper lip.

My stomach flutters around all the alcohol at the memory of that day with him.

“So, you and my brother, huh?”

I drop my phone in my lap and my head to the seat behind me. “Is that weird?”

“I don’t think so.” She shrugs. “Especially if that means you’ll be staying a little while longer.”

It’s the thought that I haven’t yet let form completely. Thoughts and ideas bounce around my head with no rhyme or reason and the idea of extending my trip has been on a post-it note somewhere behind all the other thoughts on metaphorical paper.

I don’t have the answers, so I offer her a smile and give her hand a reassuring squeeze before sending the photos to her.

Knox

“Alright lads, bring it in.”The sun has started setting earlier, and our practice has gone on a little longer today. I can see the steam emitting from the team’s bodies as their sweat and heat mix with the cool evening air. “This will be our last drill for the day, we’re going to practice our T-drills. So grab a partner. One of you is going to start on the cone, and your partner will be on the opposite side. The partner with the pad is going to call out right or left and you’re going to come in from that side. We’re focusing on managing your space and those side tackles here. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Alright. Do one warm-up and two all out before you switch.” They pair off, grabbing their pads and cones and I move off to the sidelines, smiling when I feel my pocket vibrate with what I hope is a text from Taylor.

I used to be the guy with a social media manager running my accounts for me and aside from my group chat with the team and my texts between Dax and Liam, most of the time my phone was off. Now I’m the guy with a premature grin on my face hoping to see a few words from my girl.

My smile turns to a grimace when I see an urgent email from Coach Henderson.

KB,

Haven’t heard from you in a while and I wanted to check in. The league needs to have all their paperwork set here by the end of the week, and we’re still waiting on your forms. I’m sure this is still an adjustment for you but I don’t want you to miss out on this opportunity since I can’t guarantee this position or one like it will be available again.

Give me a call and you know I’m always here to talk it out with you.

-Henderson

I stand, unmoving against the wind that picks up around me, and I read the e-mail over and over. The truth is, I’ve thought less and less about that offer with every day that passes. I put it on the back burner with the intention of coming back to it once I knew more about my recovery. Now that I’m here, I can’t very well put it off much longer. I think about leaving this town and my family and friends. I did it before and was welcomed back like no time had passed. I like to think I know a little better now though, and that this time would be different. This time I wouldn’t lose myself completely in this sport.

I watch the boys switch sides across the pitch and get lost in all the reasons I haven’t called Henderson back yet, but out of all the reasons, the one that shines the brightest is Taylor. I might not know what lies ahead for us, and that’s on me for not having this conversation with her yet, but one thing I’m certain of is that I don’t want to be anywhere Taylor isn’t.