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“Yeah?”

“You were right. Both rugby and Kaylie are important to me. My friends, too.” He gestures back to Nolan and the other boys. “I’m willing to make sacrifices but I’m not going to sacrifice everything to get there.” I stare at the kid in front of me but I feel like I’m a thousand miles away. How could I tell him to not give up his life for a sport while I’ve been sitting here contemplating doing exactly that?Again.Ronan clears his throat looking around. “Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks, again.”

He tosses me the ball and I just barely catch it before he runs off and I’m more confused than ever.

Taylor

Factually,I know we all live under the same sun, but damn, the sun in Ireland hits differently. I swear the golden hues actually have flecks of gold in them. A breeze laced with the scent of primrose floats through open windows, and the sheer forest green curtains twist around the room. Knox’s bedroom is warm and homey, just like the main house. A touch less eclectic, but that’s to be expected from someone who hasn’t lived here in years.

The bold, earthy scent of coffee hits me a moment before Knox enters the bedroom.

“That. Smells. Phenomenal.”

He hands me one of the mugs as he slides back under the covers. Soft music plays out of my phone on the nightstand as we lay here having coffee in bed.

“I like this song, what is it?”

“It’s calledSlingshot.”

“It’s nice,” he says, wrapping his arm around me and pulling me in closer to his side.

“It’s my current hyperfixation song.”

“You’re what?”

“Usually when I find a song I like, I’ll listen to that song over and over and over again.” I run my fingers over the tiny strings in the waffle-woven blanket covering us.

“You don’t get tired of it?” There’s no judgment in his voice, only curiosity.

“Eventually I will.” I take a sip of the nutty coffee. “It happens with things other than music too. It’s part of the reason I never wanted to devote myself to a job. I’m terrified of committing to something because my brain tells me I would enjoy it, but only for now.”

“Your mind is fascinating, Taylor,” he says, while his hand brushes up and down my arm. My nose burns and my throat crunches as I swallow down the emotion. I’ve always known my brain worked differently than most peoples, but I also knew there were so many other people out there like me. People who can’t relax all day if they have something as small as dinner plans that night. People that have an overwhelming sense of justice and fairness. People who can’t stand slow talkers. People who buy planners and calendars and never use them—that one might be specific to me, I’m not sure, but I’ve known. I’ve always known certain things I do arebecauseof my ADHD, but It’s not something I hyper fixate on daily anymore. I am who I am, and for a long time, I’ve always been good with that. I wasn’t prepared for how overwhelming it would feel to have someone compliment my mind.

“Okay,what’s the best feeling in the world?” Two coffees later and it’s almost noon and Knox and I have made no attempts to get out of his bed today.

“Easy,” I say. “When you’re on a tropical vacation and you spend the whole day out in the sun at the beach and thenyou come back to your hotel room to shower and get ready for dinner. The moment before when you’re sitting in your big white fluffy bed, with only a white towel, your skin is tanned, and sucks up all the lotion.” I motion up my arms. “That’s some good shit.”

Knox attempts to hide his smile behind his mug but I don’t miss it.

“Okay, Mr. World Traveler.” I swat his warm, bare chest and a rumbly laugh escapes him. “What’s your best feeling ever?”

“Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with traveling.” He takes another drink, pulling me back down to him. “When I was young, like twelve or thirteen, during the summer I would wake up and if the vacuum was going it was the final step that let you know Mum had just cleaned the house. My windows would be open, just as they are now.” He motions to the curtains still blowing in the breeze. “And the birds would be chirping because there were no threats. It was this moment of perfect peace, and you didn’t have to worry about anything for those few minutes. And then Liam and Dax would usually be at my window shortly after, badgering me to get on my bike so we could take off for the day.”

“I can remember a similar feeling.” My voice is distant like I’m back in Camila’s old bedroom, with Amor Prohibido by Selena filtering through from where Mrs. Sanchez would be cleaning downstairs. I clear my throat at the memory. “Okay, how about your favorite smell?”

“Mmm, it’s like what the ground smells like after it rains but mixed with.” His fingers thrust into my hair as he pulls me in closer, dipping his nose to the top of my head. “Some kind of.” He breathes in deeply, and my heart sills. “Flower, but sweeter.”

“Desert rain and cactus flower.” The words are no more than I whisper as I sit up and look at him.

“Is that what it is? It’s been driving me crazy for weeks.” Pressure builds in my throat and I sit up, dipping my head in an attempt to hide the salty sting lining my eyes.

“That is so much better than what I was going to say.” I choke out a small laugh, and his fingers find my jaw, lifting my face to him.

“Tell me anyway.”

“I was going to say the water on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.” I laugh, hiding the way I sniff back my tears and his shoulders shake when he lets out a deep rumbly laugh.

I look at him now, really look at him. His beautiful brown eyes with a little speck of gold in the top left one. His calloused hand trails up and down my exposed arm, causing goosebumps to erupt in its wake. This morning, in bed with him, gives me those feelings. The feelings we were just talking about, those moments that are so peaceful and so perfect you don’t realize at the moment how badly you’ll yearn for them later. But right now, I know. This is a moment I’ll feel a longing for, forever.