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That makes me laugh, and I lift my hands in an apologetic, non-threatening way. “To be fair, I did say I wasn’t here to give advice.”

He drops his head with a sigh and sits down on the bench. “She just doesn’t understand how important this is. She doesn’t get that once I make it, then I’ll be able to spend more time with her. But I have to do this now.”

“You won’t.”

“What?” I stare out across the pitch, to the tree-lined border, and wish like hell I could be back in Ronan’s shoesfor a day. Not that I necessarily think I would have changed anything, especially knowing where I ended up today; but who’s to say he would be as lucky?

“There’s always going to be another goal, a higher level or desired result. I see a lot of myself in you, Ronan. And if you’re anything like me, you’re never going to be full of this sport. Your hunger will drive you and motivate you until everything in your life, all the way down to the goddamn air you breathe—is rugby.” I turn to face him and his eyes are studying me, he’s lost the attitude and gained something like concern. “But mate, I promise you, you can have it all and not give up everything to get there. I’ve seen it.”

I’ve always thought I gave up everything. I even unintentionally resented some of my teammates for somehow being able to be alongside me but with so much more at home. But I’m realizing I didn’t have anything to begin with. I might have sacrificed thechanceoropportunityfor things, but I didn’t give up anything I already had.

Losing Taylor would be losing everything.

“What if…” he trails off, looking down at his hands. “What if it’s too late?”

I slide my hands into my pockets, and I make my way down the bleachers. Visions of that sunshine smile fill my head. I won’t let the dull, heavy weight on my chest that’s made of all the things I let go unsaid this morning, take away my everything.

I stop in front of Ronan, but he doesn’t look at me. “It’s never too late, buddy.”

I pat his shoulder and make my way out to the parking lot.

I need to get home to my girl and tell her how I feel before I’m the one left alone in my bedroom cradling my ball.

Taylor

“What areyou ladies getting up to tonight?” Isla asks, joining me at the small round table with a cup of tea.

“I’m not sure, honestly. I think I just got a pity invite so I don’t know all the details.”

“Aw, darling.” Her warm hand cups mine. “We’re a lot of things here but pitying isn’t one of them. You were invited, because whether you like it or not, you’re a part of the crew now.”

I keep my eyes on where her fingers brush over my hand because, for some unexplainable reason, Isla turns me into this sensitive person that I don’t recognize in myself.

“Hey Isla, I don’t mean to interrupt—” I look up to the doorway, finding a man who gives me a double take before smirking at me. “Nice to see you again, Miss. How have your brothers been? Catch any bears lately?”

I pull my lips between my teeth but feel the way the corners still pull up, and my cheeks warm as I recognize the cab driver who drove me here my first night.

“I don’t know what you’re prattling on about, Patrick.” Isla turns to face him. “But if you’re looking for TheLangfords, Adam took them on a walk of the grounds a bit ago. They should be back soon.”

“Wonderful,” he says, dipping his head to me. “Enjoy your evening, ladies.”

We share a knowing smile before he exits the kitchen and Isla turns back to me.

“Silly lad,” she says, smiling. “Love him dearly, but lord help me sometimes with all these kids.”

Her maternal nature is palpable and as I look around the large, open kitchen I breathe a sigh of relief. For the first time in a long time—possibly even ever—I feel like this is where I’m supposed to be. I feel safe. I wonder how much of that is due to the kitchen. I’ve spent so many days dehydrating herbs, baking bread, and marinating meat in, or if it has more to do with the mother across the table from me.

“I was.” I clear my throat, surprised by the thickness in my voice. “I was wondering if you needed some help tomorrow, too?”

She holds up her hands, knuckles facing me. They’re still slightly bent but not as swollen as I noticed they were the other day. “I always need help in here.”

“Well, if you aren’t tired of me hanging around yet, I’d love to help.”

Her warm smile matches her eyes. “Taylor darling, I don’t think I could tire of you if I tried.”

My throat clogs, and my eyes burn. She not only says all the things I wish my own mother would have said to me, ever, just once, but I alsofeelthe way I wish I could have felt around my mother. Isla says all the right things but more than that, she shows me kindness and respect that I never got from Caroline Nova. I mindlessly pick at my nails under the table until a metallic taste fills my mouth and I realize I’ve been chewing the inside of my lip.

“Are you alright?” she asks, covering my hands and dropping her head. I inhale sharply, nodding my head, and smile. “Well, I’d love to have you around, Taylor.”