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No one spoke for a while. We all got dressed, used the bathroom and then left the room. Raven stood on the sidewalk, holding her pillowcase of clothing, looking miserable as the three of us got into the vehicle.

"Raven, don't be ridiculous," I said. "We'll go back and we'll think of something else."

"No, we won't. If we go back, Gordon will make our lives a living hell--that is, if the state doesn't separate us and make us live somewhere worse than the Lakewood House." She started to sniffle. "It's all my fault. I thought Sunshine was just like us; that she deserved a chance."

"She took our money, Raven. No one's blaming you. We all bear some responsibility. I let her in the car, too. Just get into the car, please."

"Get in, Raven," Butterfly begged. "We can't leave without you."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Raven," Crystal said. "I can't blame you for wanting to help someone out."

Raven gazed at Crystal and then softened. She looked down the row of motel rooms and then back at us.

"You know Gordon will probably have us arrested," she said as she reluctantly got into the station wagon. "We should drive awhile to see if we can find Sunshine. I'll make her give us our money back."

"We won't find her," Crystal said. "Now that she has our money, she won't be hitchhiking, I'm sure."

"How could she do this to us? She knew we were just like her!" Raven cried as I drove out of the motel parking lot.

"We're not just like her. We're better off than she is, Raven. She's alone. We've got each other. How do you think she's going to end up? She'll probably die in some dark alley somewhere," Crystal predicted.

"Which way?" I asked when I got to the road. Crystal referred to her maps.

"It looks like we should continue west for about twenty miles. We'll pick up the entrance to one of the main highways and take our chances. Now that we're going back, it won't matter if we get stopped anyway," she decided.

The funereal atmosphere I had felt earlier yesterday was like a happy celebration compared to the mood we were all in today. Compounding it was the heavy overcast sky. It began to sprinkle and then rain harder. It rained so hard at one point, I had to stop and pull over to the side of the road.

"I hope she did try to hitch a ride and she's out there caught in this," Raven mumbled. Then she sighed andskimped in her seat as the water gushed over the windshield and down the sides of the station wagon.

"I'm hungry," Butterfly said. "Won't we stop to get some breakfast somewhere?"

"I don't have any money," Crystal said. "Brooke, how much do you have exactly?"

"Just some change. Maybe ninety cents. You had everything in your purse."

"We could share something," Butterfly suggested.

"And then what do we do about lunch and supper? We have to travel a few days to get back," Crystal said. "Maybe we should turn ourselves in to the police."

No one spoke. Every moment that ticked away seemed to be bringing us closer and closer to a disaster even worse than we had imagined Finally, the rain slowed down until it was just a fine sprinkle, but it was still windy.

"I feel like such a fool," I said. "Why didn't I realize what she was like?"

"Don't," Crystal commanded.

I looked at her in the mirror. Her face was firm. She was right, of course. I hated self-pity and despised it in other people. It made me feel that much worse to hear myself moan and groan.

Raven suddenly sat up.

"Listen. I have an idea. Once when I was with Dede and we were with Charlie Weiner, we didn't have enough money for cold drinks and Charlie thought about pulling up the back seat to look for loose change. Maybe we'll find some now," she said.

"What good is some more loose change?" Crystal asked.

"At least it will get us some breakfast. I'm hungry, too, Crystal," she said. "And we'll have some time to think," she added, turning to me.

I shrugged.

"So we'll pull up the back seat," I said.