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"I'm memorizing your sweet little nose," he said. "I'm memorizing all of you."

We kissed once more and then I broke out of his embrace and hurried out to the car, trying desperately to swallow back the tears and sobs that wanted to escape.

"Everything all right?" Raven asked softly. I shook my head.

"What's wrong?" Crystal asked.

"Nothing," I said, starting the engine.

"Brooke likes him," Butterfly said. "Don't you, Brooke?"

I gazed at her in the rearview mirror and smiled. "Yes, Butterfly. I do."

I started away.

Todd came to his door and raised his hand. I clicked the picture of him standing there and pressed it so hard and deeply into my memory, it would take a sledgehammer to get it out.

Someday, I'll see him again, I thought, and we'll be together forever. We'll marry and make a life because we not only loved each other, but needed each other. Or was this just a new pipe dream?

12 Reality Check

We got a flat in the right rear tire just after we reached 1-70. Fortunately for us, Gordon had a fullsize spare in the rear and with Crystal and Raven's help I was able to change the tire. The lug nuts were so tight, it took all of us to turn the wrench and loosen them. Raven and I pulled while Crystal practically stood on the wrench until the nuts turned. I'm sure we were quite a sight. Many cars passed us, but no one stopped to help. Crystal thought we were better off because there would be less lying to people. Of course, we were terrified a highway patrolman would stop, but they must have all been having coffee. We didn't see a single one then or for the next fifty miles.

Just after lunch, Crystal directed us onto 1-255, which took us into Missouri. We were in Missouri only a short time before we started west on 1-44.

Crystal said it would take us into Texas and from there we would go to New Mexico, Arizona and finally California.

California! It was beginning to feel like we were heading for the moon.

Every time we stopped for gas, we anticipated the gas charge card being denied, but every time it went through easily.

"He's right behind us," Raven predicted. "I can feel him in my bones."

No one contradicted her. We all had similar anxieties. It got so I actually gazed into the rearview mirror from time to time in anticipation of seeing Gordon's pickup truck closing on us. His face would be up against that windshield, his teeth clenched between two whitened lips.

I drove on, forcing the images out of my mind.

Mrs. Slater's lunch was so filling, we weren't hungry until nearly seven. Crystal decided we should stop in one of the smaller supermarkets and buy ready-made salads. It was cheap and easy. Afterward, before we got back on the main highway, we decided to indulge ourselves and stopped for frozen custard. Finding a suitable place to sleep that wouldn't cost us a large portion of our remaining funds was our next challenge. Most of the motels were expensive and even the ones that looked seedy to us were more than we could afford.

"We'll have to try sleeping in the wagon again," Crystal said. "It won't kill us."

This time I found a truly unused side road. The macadam broke up and ended in a field. It was one of those roads that had been started and stopped, which was fortunate for us. The tall grass hid us from view. We locked our doors, set up our pillows, opened the windows a crack and went to sleep. Or at least, tried to fall asleep. Raven began saying what was on all of our minds.

"If we would have been able to work longer at Patsy's, we would have more money and wouldn't have to sleep in a field somewhere. We could eat like people. We could even buy some clothes. I've got to go to the bathroom. Now what am I supposed to do?"

"Pretend you're on one of the youth brigade camping trips the state used to organize for us," I said. "Go out into nature."

"I hated those trips. Anyway, there's mosquitos out there. There's snakes. There's . . ."

"Werewolves and vampires," Crystal chimed.

"Ghosts and goblins," Butterfly said and giggled.

"And serial killers. Don't forget the serial killers who have lost their way, too," I added.

"You're all very funny, but you're all going to have to go to the bathroom in a field, too," Raven reminded us-.'

-Our ancestors did," Crystal said. "You know, the concept of indoor plumbing is a relatively recent phenomenon."