Page 10

"Well, in Louise's case, I think it's more complicated. She really hates to give any of us up. Gordon wants the money, but Louise really cares in her own way. She thinks of us as her own children."

"What use is having someone care for you if they just end up holding you back, trying to turn you into their idea of the perfect child?" I'd been through that before--I couldn't believe that it was going to happen again.

"Do you have an alternative?" Crystal questioned. I stared at her a moment.

"Yes."

"What?"-

"Let's just run away," I said finally

She didn't laugh, as I'd expected; instead she looked at me intently and then shook her head.

"I better stay here today. Butterfly might need me," she said with a sigh. "Let's not tell Butterfly what Louise is doing. It would make her too sad to think she may never leave here. And I wouldn't mention the running away thing either."

"But I'm serious, Crystal."

She turned her back to me and stared out the window.

I was serious. I really was. I just had to make everyone else believe me.

2 A Close Call

After Raven and Butterfly played Ping-Pong they came down to the ball field and I pulled Raven aside and told her what Louise had done. She wanted us to barge into her office and confront her.

"We'll turn that place upside down and then rip out her hair," she threatened.

"I'd like to, but we can't. I don't want her to know I was eavesdropping," I explained, "and second, do you want to face Gordon afterward?"

Raven simmered down. The image of Gordon Tooey enraged was enough to calm even her Latin temper. In the winter when it was very cold and Gordon's breath could be seen at his nostrils, I thought it looked more like smoke from a dragon.

"Well, it's not fair. We should be able to tell someone," she moaned.

"Like they'll listen to us," I said. "The only hope we have is to run away and make our own lives."

"Run away?" She stared at me with wide eyes. "That's an idea," she said and looked disappointed for not thinking of it herself. "Yes, that's a good idea."

"Let's wait to talk about it," I said. "I want to come up with a plan first."

"You're serious?" She smiled. "Well, Brooke, I think you're definitely on to something." She then told us she was going up to her room to get ready to go to the movies with Gary Davis, a boy our age who was really more of a friend than anything else.

We were permitted to go out on dates once we reached sixteen, but we had to be back before eleven P.M. The curfew was strictly enforced. Violate one of the rules and you couldn't go out on a date for a month, maybe two. Crystal and I had been out on a few dates, but Butterfly got nervous every time a-boy even tried to talk to her.

Raven was always trying to fix us up on double dates though I never really understood why until Crystal told me that she thought Raven didn't really like to be alone with the boys she dated. I asked Crystal why Raven agreed to dates then and Crystal just said that Raven was an optimist, always looking for the good in people.

Since Raven had had the most dates, she was always willing to give advice to us about boys, how to find out if they were sincere, or if they were just out for cheap thrills. She also had lots of ways to get rid of the ones who tried to go too far. Apparently she had a lot of experience fending off unwanted advances. She said that half of the boys she dated could go by the nickname "Octopus."

When I had a crush on a boy on my tennis team, Bobby Sanders, I asked Raven why he never looked twice at me. She said it was probably because I never let him win when we played against each other.

"Boys don't like girls to be better than them at sports. You hurt their egos," she explained

"I just tried to make the game fun," I claimed.

"No, you didn't. You tried to win. You always play to win," she accused with a smile. I couldn't deny it. She was right. It wasn't in me to deliberately lose at anything. Would that make it impossible for me to ever find someone to love and to love me?

I hated asking Crystal's opinion about such matters. She would take off her glasses, wipe her lenses, think a moment and then start describing the mating habits of whales or something

"Don't tell me about animals," I would complain. "People are different."