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"You will, if you really want to, Raven," I said. She smiled and then laughed.

"Yes, if I really want to. I can't think of that right now. I'm in entertainment."

She rattles on with her Hollywood stories, speaking so quickly and so earnestly, I felt she was trying desperately to convince me she was happy with the decisions she had made. Finally, it was time to greet Crystal at her arrival gate. She was one of the first ten to get off, carrying her briefcase packed with her assignments. She really looked no different, still as unconcerned about her hair, wearing no makeup, not even lipstick, her glasses thick as goggles.

We all hugged and kissed and Todd went off to arrange for our car. A short while later, we were on our way to the ranch, as we had come to know it.

"I may specialize in psychiatry," Crystal told us.

"Why am I not surprised," Raven quipped. "You were always analyzing everyone. You might as well make money doing it."

Todd laughed, and once Raven saw she had an attentive audience, she continued with her jokes. Crystal and I looked at each other and smiled. Despite our ages and the passage of time, we were still acting like the Orphanteers, holding hands whenever we could.

Butterfly came bursting out the front door when we drove up. She was only another three inches taller, but her face had matured along with her now sweet little body. We held each other as if we were about to join and drive away the evil once again. Tommy and Anita came out, Anita holding the new baby, and we all went inside, Todd and Tommy bringing in our bags.

I thought we would never run out of things to say, things to tell each other. We were driven by a need to let each of us know every important or significant event that had occurred in our lives, no matter how small it might seem to someone else. Our chatter went right through lunch until it was time for Butterfly to prepare for graduation. We all dressed, Raven surprising everyone by stepping out wearing the Indian dress Anita's mother had made.

"You're really going to wear it?" I asked. Raven looked to Anita.

"I'd be very proud to wear it if Anita doesn't mind," she said.

"Of course not. You look even more beautiful in it, Raven," she said, which was all Raven had to hear, of course. The dress would have to be pried or burned off her after that. We piled into our car and followed Tommy, Anita, Butterfly and little Steven to the school, where an outdoor graduation ceremony had been prepared. I told Crystal I had butterflies in my stomach for Butterfly and she admitted to the same.

"You? Nervous?" Raven said. "I'll tell you what nervous is--preparing for an audition."

"This is the same as an audition," Crystal said with her eyes fixed and intent on Raven.

"Yes, it sure is," Raven agreed. She calmed down when the music began, the "Pomp and Circumstance" that brought the graduates down the aisle to the stage. Our little Butterfly's golden curls were dazzling under her cap. I looked at Anita and Tommy and saw them holding hands, their faces full of pride.

When Butterfly's name was called, we all cheered. Little Steven's eyes were full of amusement. Anita had him wave at the stage. Butterfly looked out to us, her smile full of sunshine and life.

She hadn't had a seizure since she'd moved in with Tommy and Anita. She was truly like a flower transplanted into rich soil--healthy and strong, climbing toward her potential.

I guess we all were now, even Raven, who I felt sure would find her way to some happiness. Everyone in the audience cheered for their own when the class was finally introduced as graduates. I looked around at the happy fathers and mothers, sisters and brothers, relatives and friends.

A long time ago, for various reasons, our fathers and mothers had surrendered us to an impersonal system and condemned us to an endless search for family. We tried. We hoped and prayed, but it didn't happen for a very long time to Butterfly and it never really happened to Raven, Crystal and me. What we discovered was that during the search itself we had found family; we had found each other.

For one precious moment on the grounds of a college in the Southwest, miles and miles from where we had all begun, we joined once more. We pressed our bodies against each other and clung to each other and drove away the darkness.

Once, when Crystal and I were alone at night, she looked out the window at the Lakewood House and said, "I used to dream about the mother I have never known. She had no face, of course, but in the dream I'm always holding her hand very tightly, and she's always trying to pull away. I fight as hard as I can to hold on, but finally I have to let go. I feel as if I am falling and then I wake up." She turned to me and smiled.

"I always felt that way, even with my foster parents, and then I was brought here and the four of us were drawn together and suddenly . . suddenly I stopped falling, Brooke."

So did I, I thought.

I knew she was right, even then.

Our falling had come to an end.