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"I'm all right, Raven. Don't worry. I can do this," I said. I was anxious to get those keys into my hands. Then I knew it was really going to happen.

Before I got out of bed, I tapped lightly on the wall between our room and Crystal and Butterfly's. One of them tapped back.

"Let's do it," I said.

I left my shoes off so I could move more quietly down the corridor. I stepped out. Crystal and Butterfly were in their doorway.

"I'm fine," I said before Crystal could ask. "You and Raven go get the food. Butterfly, just be a lookout."

The two of them hurried away and I turned to gaze down the hallway toward Louise and Gordon's bedroom. The hallway was lit by three rather weak ceiling fixtures. A pale yellow light spilled down the tired walls. The door to Gordon and Louise's bedroom looked farther away than ever. Every step I took caused a creak in the wood floor and to me, those creaks were loud. I hesitated, listened for the sound of anyone waking. It would be hard to explain why I was wandering about down here barefoot if I were discovered. I was afraid one of the other kids would see me and make a commotion, too.

The thumping under my breast grew so hard and fast, I feared I might lose my breath, get dizzy and fall. What made me think I had the strength and ability to do this? I wondered now that I was actually out here doing it. Crystal was right. This is a pipe dream. I can't open that bedroom door and reach around to find his jacket. What if the jacket falls and the keys jingle? What if he's not asleep?

I was beginning to panic. My heart was skipping beats now. Raven was right. We should have joined and chanted. I was too confident. I looked back. Butterfly stood in the doorway, waiting with bated breath. The sight of her, small and anxious, but hopeful too, restored my strength. I had to get her out of here. I had to.

I waved and then nodded to assure her I was all right, even though I was far from it.

I looked at Louise and Gordon's bedroom door again and started toward it, sliding along the wall. Finally, I was there. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and tried the handle. It turned and the door moved with just the slightest creak.

I had been in their bedroom a half dozen times for one reason or another, sometimes bringing something up for Louise. I knew that the door opened to a little entryway. Around the corner to the left was their bedroom with two large windows that faced the lake. There was a large closet left of that. On the right were their dressers and in the corner, the entrance to their bathroom.

I continued to open the door until I had enough room to slip between it and the jamb. I did so quickly, closing the door behind me so there would be a minimum of light spilling in from the hallway. There I was, standing in the darkness in their bedroom entryway, holding my breath. I had done it. It was too late to turn back now.

Moving in tiny increments, taking what seemed like an hour just to turn my body, I found the jacket just where it always was and slipped my fingers into the first pocket. The tips of my thumb and forefinger touched the set of keys, but just as they did so, a night light snapped on. I froze.

"What is it?" I heard Gordon moan.

"I've got to go to the bathroom," Louise said. "Can't you go without turning on that damn light and waking me up, for crissakes."

"I didn't want to stumble on anything," she explained.

He groaned, a muffled sound into his pillow. I didn't move a muscle, didn't release a breath. I heard her go into the bathroom and close the door. I remained as still as I could and waited. I heard the toilet flush, saw the light when she opened the door, and then heard her get back into bed and snap off the night lamp.

"Sorry," she muttered. He d

idn't respond. I waited, the sweat now dampening the back of my neck. I wanted to be sure they had fallen back asleep. My whole body was numb and cold and suddenly, my legs felt as if they were melting. I would soon just fold up on the floor in a heap, I thought. I better do what I came to do.

I reached in again, found the keys and started to inch them up and out of the pocket. The back of my hand touched something else and I paused, realizing what it could be. If it was what I thought it was, it would be great, I thought. I drew out the keys and then felt around and brought out the gas credit card. What luck, I thought, a real bonus.

Now I had to slip out as quietly and as quickly as I had slipped in. I pried the door open, again inches at a time, keeping the creak as low as possible, until I had enough room to squeeze through. I did it on all fours and then I closed the door as softly as I could behind me. For a moment I just squatted there, listening, waiting for the terrifying sound of Gordon's growl as he came after me, but all remained quiet. Way up the hallway, I saw Crystal, Raven and Butterfly in the doorway watching me. Raven and Crystal had returned from the kitchen, a sack of groceries in hand. I lifted my hand, thumb up, and then I rose and tiptoed my way back.

We all gathered in my and Raven's room, whispering.

"You were in there so long, we thought he caught you for sure," Raven said.

I quickly told them what had happened and then showed them the credit card.

"Gordon's not only lending us his car, but money for gas," I said.

"You sure neither of them heard you?" Crystal asked.

"If they had, Gordon would be here by now," I said. "How did you do?"

She showed me what they had in the sack, mostly canned goods and nonperishables.

"Good choices," I commented. "We're all set. Nothing can stop us now."

"I'm afraid," Butterfly whimpered. The realization that we had everything we needed to go frightened her.