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I didn’t know what I was saying or what it meant. I didn’t like questions that exposed me. I ran away from them on a daily basis. It was my whole thing.

What I definitely didn’t do was answer a question before I was even aware of what I was doing.

But… But the word rang true, and… sure, it annoyed me—it was a matter of principle—but it unlocked something in my chest, too. I could almost hear the lock unlatching. My lungs filled with air before a shudder ran through my body.

“Good pup,” Tony murmured.

His eyes looked somehow softer. It didn’t quite fit with his leather getup, but I was too busy processing why he’d look softer to begin with. And why he knew that was what I’d answer.

It was close to an out-of-body experience as I swayed forward, my eyelids feeling heavier than they did before. Tony caught me and crushed our lips together. I should be panicking, like he’d said. My heart should be threatening to jump out of my chest.

Instead, something about his touch, his mouth, or whatever conclusions I was reaching had me deflating. When was the last time I’d taken a proper deep breath?

I couldn’t tell.

It didn’t matter.

It should.

For the first time, I couldfloat. I could understand what Kara and some of the other subs talked about when they gushed about subspace. I’d never been particularly worried that I didn’t reach that exact feeling.

“That’s right.”

I couldn’t ask what he was talking about. One second, I was soaring on endorphins. The next, both of his hands hit my ass at the same time, the sound spreading through the entire room, blocking my eardrums.

I screamed.

It wasn’t about the pain, just the shock to my system.

Yet I didn’t want to kick, get off him, or vibrate with either the need for more or the impulse to run away.

I just deflated once more, as soon as the sharp heat from his hands mellowed out.

Tony went back to talking about reading a sub’s cues and playing with their head. I didn’t listen.

My eyelids were really heavy.

EIGHTEEN

tony

Tony

How is the email drafting going, pup?

Jaime

You’ve torn my last three attempts to shreds

You’re lucky I’m petty as fuck

Tony

You could work on your listening skills instead.

Jaime

Are you going to make me?