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Tony chose that moment to deliver another swat, his hand landing against the space where my ass met my thigh. The pain was more biting than it had been on his lap.

My voice wasn’t mine as I responded to the sharpness of it. If I’d been more myself, I would’ve pointed out that the sting wasn’t for me. Right now? I didn’t care.

“The most important part when you’re giving someone a spanking?” Tony spoke to the crowd. Maybe he was speaking to me, too. Had his voice always been this hypnotic? “It’s keeping them in the headspace you want them in.”

Was that why he’d slapped me harder then?

It made sense in a way I wasn’t used to things making sense. Maybe it was just the fogginess.

I lasted three more swats in this position before I completely broke down.

I didn’t even recognize my voice when it happened. One second, I was on the brink of being overwhelmed with the pain, with the mindfuck that came with wondering why it was suddenlyso muchwhen it had been tolerable before.

The next second, a sob tore from my throat, and tears followed quickly. My chest felt tight right away, my lungs constricted.

A hand settled on the back of my head.

Tony’s.

“Need a second, pup?”

Y-yeah.

I tried to speak but ended up bobbing my head instead. It really was a good thing that he wasn’t as big on protocol as I’d once thought with all his posturing about old school D/s.

“Can you stay in position or do you want to come to my lap?”

I gulped. He kept his hand on my hair. He wasn’t stroking it exactly—it was more subtle than that—but it felt good.

Grounding.

Before I could answer, I needed to suck in some air and put myself together. I scrubbed my face with my inner arm.

“I…” Truthfully, I didn’t know how to answer his question. I didn’t know what I wanted or what I could handle right now. I just needed a minute. “I can stay here.”

Thankfully, Tony didn’t pull away after I answered. He kept giving those tiny scratches to the back of my head I didn’t quite know how to describe. His hand on me was the thing keeping me together. The only reason I hadn’t asked to go on his lap was that the thought of having to leave that cocoon of safety once more? It was as unthinkable as putting an early stop to this whole thing.

It wasn’t a matter of pride, just necessity of seeing it through.

“Good pup.” Tony sat more comfortably on the floor while he waited me out. It was a strange look with all the leather gear he was wearing. It tugged at my heartstrings in a ridiculous way, though; it softened him up, somehow. I didn’t have a better way to explain it. “Any particular reason why you got overwhelmed?”

“No, Sir.” A shiver ran down my spine. The rooms were always kept at the perfect temperature, but I was more aware of the air surrounding me without the heat coming from Tony’s hands landing on my ass. “I just wasn’t expecting it.”

Tony hummed.

Thank fuck.

I thought he’d ask me to elaborate or follow up with more questions.

“You can keep going, Sir.”

The silence had started off as a balm, but it was becoming stifling, making me itchy.

I gulped.

“Why do you want to keep going?”

The fuck?