Page 36
Story: Puppy on a Leash
“Right.” Because I was the one going off topic here. “Um. Moving on to what?”
“To getting it through your brain that I’m not going to kick your ass or whatever it is you pictured happening here?” Sergio tried to sound angry. I’d give him that. When he frowned, the slit he’d shaved in his eyebrow deepened somehow. It just didn’t give the intended effect. Everyone who spent five minutes around the guy knew he wouldn’t hurt a fly. “I’m fine, and I’m not your handler. Thank fuck.”
“You’re not supposed to curse.”
Kara cursed. He didn’t. It was one of their big differences in how they behaved as Littles.
Pointing it out made him splutter. “Well, you deal with it.”
I hummed. I supposed it was better than the bruises I’d pictured him giving me when I’d thought he was going to throw himself at me. He was notoriously brutish. Everyone in our group had ended up sporting a bruise or two after hanging out around him for a while. At this point, it had to count as a rite ofpassage. You were one of us when you were elbowed, kneed, or otherwise injured by a hyperactive Little by the name of Sergio.
It could work as a slogan. A longish one.
Maybe not.
“You freaked out when the whole outing thing happened last year.”
Maybe bringing up The Incident TM would get him to be serious about it. After Tony was accidentally—or not so accidentally—outed by a local newspaper discussing sex and relationships between professors or some bullshit like that, we’d all met up a few times to talk about it. One of those meetings had Sergio, Kara, Marga, and Jen playing in the Littles’ room to distract themselves. Sergio blew up at them when they mentioned breaking up with Tony, the girls retaliated, and Sergio ended up in the ER because one of them hit him in the eye with a LEGO block.
It had been a whole thing. Afterward, Sergio had been as down as I’d ever seen him and blaming himself for the altercation. That was when he told us about what happened when he was a freshman and Tony was a TA. He’d made it sound like it wasn’t a big deal, but it didn’t change the fact that he’d blown up and almost destroyed two friendships over it. I might not be studying psychology or anything in that field, but even I knew one didn’t explode over things that had no importance whatsoever.
“I didn’tfreak out.” Sergio made air quotes as he spoke.
I scowled.
Was this really the time to make a point about language? “You know what I mean.”
“Do I?”
Note to self: Never try to confront Sergio about anything without his Daddy present. Abel was good at keeping him ontrack and reasoning with him. I was good at stooping as low as he did and being just as petty.
It took a lot of breathing exercises to bite my tongue and not say what I really wanted to.
“I care about you,” I ended up saying. I deserved a reward. “And it might be a one-time thing, but I don’t want you to pretend this means nothing and then completely implode and drive a wedge between us. Forgive me for giving a fuck, asshole.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. That last part might not have been the best after myI’m going to take a breath and be calminner monologue. Whatever.
It left Sergio speechless for more than five seconds. I took it as a win.
“I’m sorry.” Helookedsorry, too—on the verge of tears, really. “Can we just look at pictures of cats?”
“Do I look like I want to look at pictures of cats?”
Sergio chewed the inside of his cheek. “The shelters have puppies, too.”
“Sergio.”
How did Abel deal with twenty-four hours of this without yanking his hair out?
“What?” He squirmed, having no problem letting his voice go as high pitched as he wanted. On the days I felt especially uncomfortable, those small details became more noticeable. “I hear you, okay? But I need to process. So. There.”
“Right.”
“Yeah.” Sergio played with the hem of the ratty shirt he was wearing. It had to be one of the old shirts he’d stolen from Abel. Last time I checked, Sergio hadn’t had an interest in firefighters until him. Plus, it looked big on him. “But I also don’t want to be alone until Daddy comes back, so… you can keep me company. Consider it your penance or something.”
“Fine.” It was stupidly impossible to stay mad at him when he had a way of looking so fucking vulnerable. I wanted to wrap him up in blankets now. “I’ll stay and judge cats with you.”
“Excuse you, I said nothing about judging!”
“To getting it through your brain that I’m not going to kick your ass or whatever it is you pictured happening here?” Sergio tried to sound angry. I’d give him that. When he frowned, the slit he’d shaved in his eyebrow deepened somehow. It just didn’t give the intended effect. Everyone who spent five minutes around the guy knew he wouldn’t hurt a fly. “I’m fine, and I’m not your handler. Thank fuck.”
“You’re not supposed to curse.”
Kara cursed. He didn’t. It was one of their big differences in how they behaved as Littles.
Pointing it out made him splutter. “Well, you deal with it.”
I hummed. I supposed it was better than the bruises I’d pictured him giving me when I’d thought he was going to throw himself at me. He was notoriously brutish. Everyone in our group had ended up sporting a bruise or two after hanging out around him for a while. At this point, it had to count as a rite ofpassage. You were one of us when you were elbowed, kneed, or otherwise injured by a hyperactive Little by the name of Sergio.
It could work as a slogan. A longish one.
Maybe not.
“You freaked out when the whole outing thing happened last year.”
Maybe bringing up The Incident TM would get him to be serious about it. After Tony was accidentally—or not so accidentally—outed by a local newspaper discussing sex and relationships between professors or some bullshit like that, we’d all met up a few times to talk about it. One of those meetings had Sergio, Kara, Marga, and Jen playing in the Littles’ room to distract themselves. Sergio blew up at them when they mentioned breaking up with Tony, the girls retaliated, and Sergio ended up in the ER because one of them hit him in the eye with a LEGO block.
It had been a whole thing. Afterward, Sergio had been as down as I’d ever seen him and blaming himself for the altercation. That was when he told us about what happened when he was a freshman and Tony was a TA. He’d made it sound like it wasn’t a big deal, but it didn’t change the fact that he’d blown up and almost destroyed two friendships over it. I might not be studying psychology or anything in that field, but even I knew one didn’t explode over things that had no importance whatsoever.
“I didn’tfreak out.” Sergio made air quotes as he spoke.
I scowled.
Was this really the time to make a point about language? “You know what I mean.”
“Do I?”
Note to self: Never try to confront Sergio about anything without his Daddy present. Abel was good at keeping him ontrack and reasoning with him. I was good at stooping as low as he did and being just as petty.
It took a lot of breathing exercises to bite my tongue and not say what I really wanted to.
“I care about you,” I ended up saying. I deserved a reward. “And it might be a one-time thing, but I don’t want you to pretend this means nothing and then completely implode and drive a wedge between us. Forgive me for giving a fuck, asshole.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. That last part might not have been the best after myI’m going to take a breath and be calminner monologue. Whatever.
It left Sergio speechless for more than five seconds. I took it as a win.
“I’m sorry.” Helookedsorry, too—on the verge of tears, really. “Can we just look at pictures of cats?”
“Do I look like I want to look at pictures of cats?”
Sergio chewed the inside of his cheek. “The shelters have puppies, too.”
“Sergio.”
How did Abel deal with twenty-four hours of this without yanking his hair out?
“What?” He squirmed, having no problem letting his voice go as high pitched as he wanted. On the days I felt especially uncomfortable, those small details became more noticeable. “I hear you, okay? But I need to process. So. There.”
“Right.”
“Yeah.” Sergio played with the hem of the ratty shirt he was wearing. It had to be one of the old shirts he’d stolen from Abel. Last time I checked, Sergio hadn’t had an interest in firefighters until him. Plus, it looked big on him. “But I also don’t want to be alone until Daddy comes back, so… you can keep me company. Consider it your penance or something.”
“Fine.” It was stupidly impossible to stay mad at him when he had a way of looking so fucking vulnerable. I wanted to wrap him up in blankets now. “I’ll stay and judge cats with you.”
“Excuse you, I said nothing about judging!”
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