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I squeezed them. “About what?”

Cece sighed. I leaned up so that I could get a better look at their face. My stomach fell to the floor as I watched them blink away unshed tears.

Whether it helped or not, I squeezed them tighter, pushing them a bit lower so that my lips brushed against the top of their head.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize.”Just tell me what’s going on, dammit. It felt as if my heart was cracking in slow motion into tiny pieces. “Talk to me. We’ll figure it out.”

Before I’d finished, Cece was shaking their head. I didn’t understand. We’d never kept shit from each other. I’d been there for all their major shit, for every day where dysphoria meant they couldn’t get out of bed while they figured out ways to make it better.

“Are you happy with Tony?”

I frowned. What did that have to do with anything? “I mean, yeah, but?—”

“That’s good.” Cece curled up tighter. “I’m glad.”

“Okay…” It took some constraint to not point out their being glad didn’t tell me anything about what was going on.

I could be a good friend.

A better friend.

Whatever.

“Is itI’d be cool moving in with himgood?”

“Um.” My brain short-circuited. I blamed the lack of sleep. “Why would I move in with him?”

“I’m not getting my contract renewed past September,” Cece explained. “I have savings and shit, but I’m thinking of taking a sabbatical.”

“I thought IT geeks couldn’t take sabbaticals.”

Why that was the first thing that came out of my mouth, I had no idea. Cece had joked about it once. The industry moved too fast, so losing a year was career suicide or something like that. I did listen. I just didn’t have the brains for all the tech specifics.

“No, I’d be working.” Cece shrugged. “I’ll just go full-on digital nomad.”

I rolled us over until I was hovering on top of them. “What do you mean?”

“I need a change of scenery.”

No.

I shook my head, pinning them down. “A change of scenery won’t help.”

“How do you know that?” They weren’t fighting me. Cece just sounded defeated.

“Because you’ve been chasing that change of scenery all year now. It hasn’t helped. It’s not going to start helping now.”

My heart started beating too fast, my body forgetting about the exhaustion and the fact that I’d just woken up.

Look, I knew I could sometimes be stubborn and not react to sudden news well, and I would support?—

No, actually, I was not going to support what was clearly a terrible idea. I didn’t need to know any specifics to know that much. All year, Cece had been leaving for weeks at a time. Each time they came back from one of their trips, they might pretend they were fine for a day, but that was it.

As I held them still, Cece’s eyes started watering again. “You think?”

“Iknow.” I moved up to sit on top of them before my arms started shaking. “Haven’t you tried dealing with whatever this is on your own for long enough? Let someone in, Cece. For fuck’s sake.”