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“Too many body mods,” I managed to say.

I knew it stemmed from my upbringing and being told over and over that piercings and tattoos wereunbecomingand a signifier of lower class, but… Nope. I couldn’t do it.

I liked unblemished skin I could color myself.

There was no denying that the way Danny took a whipping was a fucking work of art, though. I’d attended all of León and Danny’s workshops. I could tell myself it was okay—I wasn’t getting off to them. I was getting off to their skill set. And the mouth of one of my girls warming my cock. That helped, too.

It used to, at least. I hadn’t been to any of those workshops in a while. Now, when I went to the club, it was always as a DM, and I made sure to not sign up for the days with the most appealing workshops. It was a penance of sorts.

It didn’t matter that it was getting old.

“Right.” Jaime cleared his throat. “Who is it, then?”

I raised an eyebrow. It was all I could do to not let him see he’d caught me deep in the middle of another bout of panic. Those were happening less often, but they were still there.

Him being here didn’t make it easy.

“That wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Well, no.” He huffed. “And I’ll still answer your questions. I’m just curious.”

Of course he was. It was probably the one predictable thing he’d said ever since he made himself welcome in my house.

I closed my eyes. If I was lucky, he’d just think I was taking my time and not going through all the possible answers without trying to freak the fuck out.

Sergio was an absolute no. He always had been. Back then, during the now infamous handjob I bet everyone in Plumas gossiped about on the daily, I’d just been…

Confused wasn’t the right word. A confused fucking asshole was closest, but it still didn’t cover half of it.

Abel was a no for similar reasons, too.

León and Danny were full of ink and piercings, and Jaime had been right about the size difference. Why would I want to be with a sub who not onlylookedlike they could crush me, but they probably actually could, too? Even if I was sure there was an adrenaline rush in making Carlos go down to his knees, I didn’t want to be fighting assumptions about who was on top every time I took him somewhere.

That left Jaime. Was it progress that I could now say I found him attractive?

But… “Are you a man?”

The words left my mouth before I could come up with a better way to phrase it.

Jaime’s muscles clenched tight. He was ready to bolt in the most viscerally visual way I’d ever seen him. “The fuck?”

I cursed under my breath. Fuck. That came across as the most insensitive question, didn’t it?

“You use he/they pronouns, and your profile says you’re trans masc, not a trans man like León’s says.” I breathed out. “I was going through the options, to answer your question.”

I was ready to watch him storm out regardless, to ignore the allure of all the food he must’ve ordered to take back to his place. It would’ve made sense. It would’ve been the safer option.My heart still beat too fast for my own liking. I hadn’t taken an actual deep breath since he’d stormed in. I needed the breathing room.

So I had no idea why I relaxed when his knuckles lost that white pallor where he’d been holding on to his knees. No idea why I didn’t shove him away when he moved with the very clear intent of shuffling closer.

“So, just so we’re clear… if I was a man”—so he wasn’t. Noted.—“you’d say I’m the hottest in all of Plumas?”

I swallowed. My silence gave him tacit permission to keep moving. He wasn’t touching me, but I could, easily, if I leaned forward or reached out.

I didn’t.

The knowledge was enough to send me back into a panic.

“Yes?”