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Afreak snowstorm hits the night Arya and I head home for Christmas. The roads are a mess and it takes us seven hours to get from Athena’s to Lake Lanier, which is where my aunt Leslie lives. You know, my lake, the one I spent five summers falling in love only to have it destroyed there. To say I’m nervous about returning is an understatement of epic levels.
While Arya drives us, I read the weekly update on what my baby is doing. “She can blink and hear us talk.”
“Do you think I should stop saying fuck every few words?”
“No.” I shake my head, smiling. “I want her to know your true personality.”
“You’re fucking right,” she teases. “We’re gonna be besties, baby.”
“How should I tell them?” I ask, chewing on a Swedish fish, my hand on my stomach as my little wild child in my belly decides my bladder is an excellent organ to drop kick.
Arya digs through the bag between my legs with no regard to the fact that she’s touching my vagina, her wide eyes on the road as she trudges through the back roads to the lake. My parents sold my childhood home and my mom moved in with Aunt Leslie at the lake. After Theo and Lana divorced, she took the lake house and my mom and her are literally neighbors now, which makes going home for Christmas nice.
“I think you should just walk into the house and let the surprise unfold.”
I laugh. “Maybe I can tell them I gained the freshman fifteen.”
Arya chuckles, “Babe, that’s more like twenty.”
“I havenotgained twenty pounds yet.”
“I know, but there’s no way they’re going to believe you gained weight only in your stomach.”
“I know.”
The lake is in view now. I’ve never been here in the winter and though I’m nervous as to what it will be like, it’s refreshing to see it looks nothing like it does in the summer. Gone are the full trees and blue sky. Now it’s covered in snow and the light from the sun setting on the horizon. The sky is a chalky vision of blues, purple and pink.
It’s hard to believe it’s been six months since I left this place, and I’d love to tell you I’ve moved on, but you know that’s not true.
“He’s not… gonna be here, is he?”
We turn down the road to the house and Arya snorts. “How do I know? I haven’t heard from him since that night. I would have told you.”
“I know, I just… I’m nervous. What if he shows up?”
“Then he finds out he’s going to be a dad soon.”
This is not how I want to tell everyone, and I’m terrified of what my mom’s reaction will be. And my sisters. Hell, my dad. Or Ender’s parents. What are they going to say?
“We can tell them I knocked you up,” Arya says, knowing where my mind is.
“They know what happened here over the summer.” I roll my eyes. “Everyone does.” Thanks to Walker, in the days following Ender’s abrupt disappearance, he took it upon himself to tell everyone Ender pumped and dumped. Whatever the hell that meant. Thankfully Myles punched him in the face for that one. Fifteen years old and he punched his cousin right in the face. He’s turning out like Ender more and more every day.
In the driveway, Arya pulls her truck up behind her mom’s Mercedes and turns it off. All the cars are covered in snow and the house looks massive draped in a white sheet. Reaching for my stomach, she rubs over where her niece is still kicking the crap out of me. “We got you, Mama.”
I touch my hand to hers. “I know. You’re my best girl.”
With a deep breath, I reach for the door handle and slide out of the truck. Careful of my steps, we head inside Arya’s house first. Her mom’s there with Myles and they’re curled up on the couch watching a movie. Thankfully, Theo isn’t around. At least not today. They divorced but Arya already warned me he was going to show up at some point.
With my coat on, they can’t tell that I’m sporting a baby bump. It isn’t until Lana hugs me that her eyes widen and she stares at me, waiting for me to reveal the truth. Both her hands cup my stomach. “Hads…,” she breaths and I burst into freaking tears.
Damn hormones.
Arya holds me. “It’s not a big deal, Mom. We got it. We’re good.”
“Is it…?” Lana’s voice trails off as she holds me, her embrace tight and comforting, two things I didn’t know I needed.
I nod, unable to form words as my eyes meet Myles as he’s still on the couch. “Hey, Hads.” He smiles at me and winks, and for some reason, all I see is Ender in him. He looks identical to him in every way with his dark hair falling in his bright blue eyes. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that was Ender, fifteen years old and telling me to trust him and knowing I shouldn’t.