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While my head keeps telling me we’re moving too fast, maybe we’re not. There’s nothing wrong with getting a second chance at falling in love again. Our love wasn’t ready for us the first time around. Now it’s here, waiting for us to pick up the pieces and give it another chance.
51
WHEN WE SAID GOODBYE
Itake a shower after coffee with Ender, and he takes Eddie for a walk after the rain stops to show her there’s nothing to be afraid of. I love that she gets some alone time with him, but I’m curious what they’re talking about.
After my shower, I watch them outside picking wildflowers near the lake.
“It’s like he’s been around her his entire life,” my mom notes, coming to stand with me on the porch. Eddie’s hat falls off her head when she bends down to pick another flower and Ender rights it for her.
“It’s crazy.” I smile at them and lean into my mom, bumping my shoulder with hers. “She called him daddy this morning, like it was the most natural thing to her.”
“It probably is. She’s five, honey. It’s exciting to her to have him in her life.”
“I know. I’m just scared.”
“Of him leaving?”
I nod, unable to say the words because I fear them.
“Honey.” Mom pulls me into her side. “Any man who looks at their daughter like he does, isn’t going anywhere.”
My heart beats a little faster and my mom disappears into the house. She and Brenna are getting ready to leave. So are we, but the idea of leaving Ender now hurts. Physically. I get a pain in my chest every time I think about it.
Eddie keeps picking the flowers and handing them to Ender while he already has his hands full of rocks she’s collected in the process. I meet them outside with my and Eddie’s bags, and Ender chuckles, taking them from me.
“She’s a hoarder,” I tell him as he helps me load the bags in the back of my Tahoe. “You better believe she’s taking inventory of all those rocks and flowers and expecting them to come with her.”
He laughs, watching her try to carry them down the steps in her dress, her butt showing in the process. “Arya used to do that.” With his arms crossed, he leans into the side of my car. “We went to the beach once and she collected all these shells and didn’t have anywhere to put them, so she shoved them in my pockets. I remember walking up the beach and my shorts fell down because my pockets were so heavy from her damn seashells.”
“How old were you?”
His smile grows when Eddie takes all of them and dumps on the floor in my car. “I don’t know, nine?”
“Looks like we’re heading to the car wash today too.” I groan, hearing gravel crunch and the hum of a diesel approaching. It’s Theo’s truck. Lana pulls in behind him and parks in the garage.
“Fuck,” Ender mumbles under his breath, groaning, and steps back from me. “What is he doing here?”
“I don’t know, but I should probably go.” I glance at Eddie and then him again.
There’s panic on Ender’s face as his eyes slide to Eddie, me, and then his dad. “Okay.”
I don’t want our goodbye rushed, but I also don’t want Eddie around Theo and Ender together. I know how this ends.
My mom comes out. “Eddie honey, come help me for a minute.”
“I not want to,” she tells her, picking up the few rocks she dropped and placing them in the car. Her dress is covered in mud now from the rain earlier.
“You don’t have a choice, little girl,” Mom says, picking her up and hauling her over her shoulder as Eddie starts to cry. “I have a treat for you.”
No more tears now.
Ender stands between me and his mom approaching. He takes another step toward her. “What are you doing here?”
“He needed to get his things,” she whispers. “Don’t cause a scene.”
“Me?” Ender laughs. “You think it’s me who instigates this shit?”