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Ender leans in, his lips inching toward mine. “Stay innocent, Hads. Don’t let anyone take anything from you if you don’t give it to them.”
I touch my hand to his jaw, the roughness scratching my fingertips. “What if I want to give it to you?”
“Don’t,” he rushes to say, his eyes distant. “Don’t.”
In his arms, I belong, because nobody makes me feel the way he does. Nobody fills that needy ache in the pit of my stomach quite like the one with sad eyes.
18
WHEN I DRY HUMPED HIM
The days blend together. We camp outside under the stars with Arya, Roman, Carter, and Myles. We go swimming in the middle of the night and steal kisses when nobody is looking. It’s as the sun is rising when we finally fall asleep, but I will remember the way Ender held my hand as his eyes closed and the smile on my face when he whispered goodnight.
Tonight we’re in Wiley’s barn trying to fix the siding where I drove Ender’s truck through it—the result of him trying to teach me to drive when Walker and Roman kept teasing me.
It’s been two hours, and they still can’t let it go. We’re about to go back to the house to find Arya who went to the doctor in Atlanta with Lana. She’d stepped on glass earlier by the lake and needed stitches and a tetanus shot.
I wrap my hair around my hand and tie up my humidity-stricken curls. That’s when I notice all the guys are acting weird and smell funny. Like a skunk. “What’s with you guys?”
“Come with us, Hads.” Ender nods to the side of the barn where his truck is.
Walker’s eyes widen at him as if he’d lost his mind. “Bro, don’t. She’s a kid.”
I scowl in Walker’s direction. “I’m fifteen.”
Walker holds up his hands. “Excuse me, fifteen-year-old.”
“It’s fine,” Ender says, blowing him off and waving me forward. “I trust Hads.”
I step closer, smiling but unsure what he’s doing. “Your eyes are red and you smell.”
Ender chuckles, his lips suddenly above my ear, his blinks slower and slower. “It’s weed.”
I breathe in, meeting his eyes. “I’ve never smoked it,” I admit.
“Come with me,” he says, moving a strand of my hair that’s fallen from my bun.
Walker groans from behind. “My dad is gonna be back soon. Let’s go.”
“Go without me.” Ender’s gaze never lifts from mine. “I’ll catch up.”
“I can’t go with you.” I ignore Walker’s presence and focus all my attention on Ender. “I need to get back for Arya,” I tell him, watching Walker.
“I’ll take you back in a minute.” When we’re alone in the barn, Ender backs me up against the side of his truck. “You want some?” Bringing the joint in his fingers to his perfect lips, he presses them together and breathes in, his eyes locked on mine. The tip glows and his chest rises, lids fluttering closed and then opening again. Parting his lips, he takes a breath in, holding it behind his smile and glossy eyes.
He stares at me as he blows the breath out and into my face. The way the smoke looks between us and the intensity of his eyes, I smile. My lips part and I inhale, sharing his breaths.
His hand that’s not holding the joint digs into my hip. “God, you’re fucking beautiful, Hads.”
Slowly he hands it to me, bringing it up so his fingertips touch my lips. Never taking my eyes from his, I suck in the smoke. “I don’t know what to do.”
His lips part, his face inches from mine. “Breathe in, baby.”
It’s the first time he’s ever called me baby, and my entire body trembles as I do what he says. And then he kisses me again. With a slow ease from the weed, he hums, an open-mouth kiss pressed to my neck. Only this time his teeth nip, tongue moving, making desperate sounds with each pass. It’s as if he can’t get enough.
I shiver, trying to hold onto him tighter, and he laughs, falling back onto a hay bale. Without breaking contact, he grabs a hold of me and brings me to sit on his lap, straddling him.
“How far can I go?” he groans, wrapping both arms around my waist. I don’t know what happened to the joint in his hand, but I don’t care.