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He loosens his grip on my ass and pulls out of me, and I want him back. Except I’m not sure I would survive that again right now. I need five minutes to rest first.

Scooping me up in his arms, he carries me to the bed. We lie close together, his hand trailing patterns on my skin. I can feel sleep encroaching on me, stealing my mind. But there’s something I need to say first and unfortunately it doesn’t involve the L word.

“I’m going to Hell,” I say.

He kisses my shoulder. “Then we’ll go together.”

And for once I don’t argue. I don’t rail against the gods or destiny.

I guess I’ve made my choice.

Chapter 41

Going to Hell…

He’s behind me, over me, on me, inside me. He’s everywhere, so I can’t tell where I end, and he begins. This time the build of pleasure is slow and inevitable like a great wave rolling over me, only to build again and again. Until it finally ebbs, leaving me spent and empty.

He places a lingering kiss on the soft skin where my neck meets my shoulder as he slips away from me. Then he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me close.

We’re freaking spooning, and that’s not something I ever expected to do with Khaos.

I could get used to waking up like this. Unfortunately, I’m not going to get the chance.

I have a flashback to the battle, the screams, the stench of charred flesh, the taste of ash on my tongue. The crippling guilt that I know is indelibly seared into my very soul so it’s a part of me now. A part of who I am, and I will never be free. But I will learn to live with it. And I will make a promise to myself that I will strive to do better.

To not abuse my powers. To nurture life where I can—not take it.

Which all means we leave today. We finish this.

Light is already seeping beneath the closed door. It’s morning and we need to be on our way. I don’t want to give anyone the chance to try to persuade me to stay. I don’t think Hecate would—she’s always known that this is where my story ends. But she thinks she’s coming with me, and that’s not happening. I won’t take her into danger. She’s needed here, whatever the outcome of my trip. But Thanouq won’t want me to go. He’s made it clear that he believes the cause would be better served by putting my magic at his disposal. Plus, he thinks any trip to Hell will end in my complete annihilation and he doesn’t want that. He sorts of likes me. Would he keep me here by force? I don’t think so but at the same time, I’m not willing to risk it. So, we need to go before anyone realizes it.

I sigh and the arm around my waist tightens.

“We should go,” he murmurs, echoing my thoughts. It’s scary how in tune we seem to be. Do we just think alike or is it the bond? I doubt we’ll ever know.

I sigh again, then I roll onto my back so I can look at him. “I know.” But I don’t move. I just stare into his beautiful face. He looks like a big, sated animal. He also looks at peace, as though the parts of him that have always been in conflict have settled.

He reaches out, his fingers stroking the amber pendant at my throat. The only thing I’m wearing. “Did you ever find out what this is?” he asks.

“No, just that it was a keepsake from my mother.” He doesn’t look convinced, but then neither am I. It’s more than a keepsake I just don’t know in what way. Maybe I’ll find the answer in Hell. Time to go.

“You move first,” I say.

He smirks. “I thinkyoushould move first.”

“Don’t be childish. How about we move together. On three. One, two three…”

Neither of us move. Except Khaosti’s hand slides up from my waist to cup my breast, and the embers of desire spark to life inside me again.

Not helping.

I force myself to sit up, and his hand falls away. Then I push myself to my feet and cross the room to the small bathroom attached. A quick shower and I’m toweling myself dry when he appears in the doorway, all long naked maleness that makes my mouth go dry and my sex throb. No. We can’t. I throw the towel at him and dodge past and back into the bedroom. Most of my clothes are piled on a chair. I search for the shorts and find them under the bed. The tank top is ruined—I smile at the memory of Khaos ripping it apart. I pull on the black pants and shirt of my armor leaving off the breastplate. I doubt it will protect me where I’m going. But I fasten the scabbard at my back and slide in Nightfall. I’m not leaving my sword behind. Finally, I tug on my boots. I’m sitting on the bed re-plaiting my hair when Khaos appears. He’s rubbing his hair dry with the towel and is still naked. He casts me a glance and tosses the towel on the bed, then wanders the room picking up bits of clothing and pulling them on. Lastly, he slides his sword into his scabbard and we’re both dressed and ready to go.

He looks at me and raises an eyebrow. “So, what now?” he asks.

“Now, I make a mirror that will take me to where I left Lucifer’s Mirror, and then we’ll use that to go to Hell.” Sounds easy if you say it fast. “But first we need to go to the kitchen.”

“The kitchen?”