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He lowers his head and kisses me; I expect the kiss to be gentle, but it’s not. It’s hard and insistent. He nips my lower lip, and my mouth opens, and his tongue pushes inside. Heat fills me. It feels good. I lift my arm and curl my hand around the back of his neck and hold him close.

Finally, he raises his head and stares down into my eyes. “I know you don’t love me. I know you think you care for Khaosti. But he will not make you happy.”

He’s probably right. I have atrocious taste in men. But I’m not going to badmouth Khaosti to Thanouq.

“But we could be good together,” he continues, “we could forge something powerful and make a real difference in the world.”

With that he steps away and heads for the door. “Think about it,” he says, then grabs his sword and disappears.

Sinking to the floor, I put my head on my knees. Why couldn’t he have just wanted sex? I might have given in. After all, a girl should get some experience. But marriage? No way.

I hear a noise and lift my head. A figure appears in the doorway. Khaosti. Why am I not surprised?

“If you kiss him again, I’ll kill him,” he says, then disappears as well.

Chapter 31

Unarmed, Unready, Unstoppable

Ipress my lips together and growl, “I can’t do it.”

“Well, that’s obvious,” Hecate snaps. “But then, I don’t think you’re trying very hard.”

We’re working in the small courtyard off the kitchen. It’s a miserable gray day and Hecate has me practicing spells. I’m supposed to be a spell caster after all. And while I’m getting pretty good at controlling fire, that’s about all I can do. I’m fed up with failing, but I can’t seem to do anything about it.

“Tell me about my father,” I say. “You’re one of the only people here who was alive back then. And I know you knew him—you once said he was the best of all of you. How did you know him? Who was he? What happened to him?”

Her lips press together in that way that indicates I am not going to get an answer. But then she says, “I don’t know what happened to him. I wasn’t there at the time. I was living on Valandria.”

“But you did know him? What was he like?”

She looks away. “It doesn’t matter what he was like back then. It matters what he’s like now. Evil.”

“But I want to understand.”

I can’t help thinking that if my father was once a good person, and something changed him, then maybe I don’t have to fear what’s inside myself so much.

“I can’t tell you because I don’t understand—I wasn’t there. I thought at one point that I knew him, but I didn’t, not really. Maybe no one knew him. Not even your mother. Maybe the seeds were always there—the need for power, the craving for destruction. I just don’t know.” She actually shouts the last words, and I take a step back.

She shakes her head. “I’m sorry, but do you not think I’ve gone over these things in my head a million times? It was so long ago. And sometimes I wonder if I remember anything as it really was. I thought I had things straight, but then your mother…”

My mother what? I want to scream. I presume whatever she’d said had changed Hecate’s views on what had happened. But how? And why won’t she talk about it? But this conversation is going nowhere fast, and I decide to change the subject…. For now. “What about the ‘Coven of the Lost Flame’? Do you know anything about them?”

Something shifts in her eyes. “They were Winter’s ancestors, outlaws who fled from Astralis.”

“Why? What did they do?”

“I don’t know, I—”

“—wasn’t there,” I finish for her.

I suspect she knows more than she’s saying. I glance at Khaosti who is sprawled on one of the stone benches watching us but not talking. Which at least means he hasn’t threatened to kill anyone who kisses me this morning.

What was with that? I spent the whole night churning about it. He doesn’t want me—or if he does, he’s determined not to do anything about it. But he doesn’t want anyone else to have me, either.

“So, a spell,” Hecate says. “I want you to show me a vision.”

“A vision of what?”