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I kiss Josh on the top of his head, then step back. We head to the table together, and I slip onto the bench beside Khaosti. I don’t say anything—I don’t want to spoil this happy moment.I smile serenely instead. At which he frowns, then goes back to eating.

I help myself to bread and thick slabs of potato omelet and pour myself a mug of tea and ignore everyone while I eat and drink. We run out of bread at one point and Erik brings more, fresh from the oven; the smell is divine. I’m really glad Erik made it. I eat until I’m stuffed, then sit back with a sigh. Everyone is watching me.

“What?” I ask. “I’m living in the moment. Don’t spoil it for me.”

Hecate’s lips quirk.

Of course, I know it can’t last. Zayne stands up. “I’m heading off. Thanouq wants me to train with the army today.”

I’m not sure how Zayne will do in an army setting. He’s not very good at following orders. But maybe basilisks get special dispensations to be surly.

“And Erik is going to show me the stables and help me brush down the horses,” Josh pipes up.

“Well, take an apple for Stella,” I say.

He grabs one as they leave. He looks happy as well.

That just leaves me, Hecate and Khaosti. Hecate glares at him pointedly. He ignores her.

“Go,” she says. Obviously giving up on the subtle approach.

He looks at me. I shrug. “I’ve got to try and learn some stuff and I can’t do it with an audience,” I say. I probably can’t do it without an audience either, but at least my humiliation will be more private.

He studies me through narrowed eyes for at least a minute, looking almost hurt. Then he slowly rises to his feet. “I’ll be close by,” he says.

We both watch him go and I blow out my breath then turn to Hecate.

“We never had much time to talk after you got your memories back,” she says. “Tell me what you remember.”

I frown. “I remember everything from my memories. I remember you.” I have no recall of my mother, but then, she handed me over when I was merely days old. But Hecate is in all my earliest memories, vague and shadowy because I was so young when she sent me away—only four years old. She’d dispatched me in the care of a guardian who defected at the same time as Khendril. His name was Bevan, and he was young and cheerful—maybe the reason they’d chosen him to look after a four-year-old. He was dead three years later, and I was handed over to Sorien. He’d only lasted a year.

Hecate must see something in my face because she gets up from where she’s sitting and comes over, resting her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you with me,” she murmurs.

I don’t reply. I’m sorry as well, but what’s the point in saying that? She did what she had to do.

“Come and sit in the sun,” she says. “Some things are better spoken of in the bright light of day.”

I snatch the last warm roll from the basket on the table and follow her out into the small courtyard. It’s maybe four meters by four meters and paved with flagstones. The light gray stone walls reach high above, creating a narrow rectangle of blue sky. The sun is bright, and I raise my face, enjoying the warmth on my skin. Benches run along two of the walls, pots have been planted with herbs, and there’s a young vine growing up around the door. I guess Hecate planted them when she got here.

She settles onto one of the benches, and I sit cross-legged on the warm stone at right angles to her, munching on my roll and studying the worn flagstones. This place feels old, but there’s a sense of peace as well.

“Talk to me,” she says.

I glance up from my contemplation of the stone flags. “What about?”

“The last book you read,” she snaps.

Oh dear. Sarcasm this early in the morning—that doesn’t bode well.

“Magic,” she says. “Tell me everything you know about magic.”

Well, that won’t take long. I thought she’d be the one telling me. I swallow the last of my roll and sigh. “Not enough.”

“Expand on that?”

“You sent me away when I was four, and while my guardians were great at teaching me to fight, they knew fuck all about magic. They said the same as you—when the time was—blah, blah, blah.” Khendril had told me that as soon as I came into my magic, I would be reunited with Hecate, and she would complete my training. That usually happens sometime after the age of twelve. Well, it hadn’t happened by the time Khendril sent me away. I was obviously a late developer.

“When you lived with me, you were too young to understand. I’d planned to do something about it when the time was right. But it never was. Still, you must know something—you knew the spell to call the shadowguard.”