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But I don’t.

She might not have a choice about who her bonded mate is—it’s me, and that’s non-negotiable—but she gets to make this decision. “It’s her choice.” And if she chooses war, then I’ll stand beside her. I’ll fight alongside her. Even if it’s the last thing I ever do.

But a wave of despair crashes through me. For the first time I can remember, I don’t want to fight.

I want to live.

“Then we fight,” Amber says.

Chapter 38

When I Find Out the Price of Magic

The sun is not yet up, and the air is chilly, the light dim. A man is weaving his way through the crowded courtyard with a tray of pies. But I shake my head as he offers me one. My stomach knots at the thought of eating. Things must be really bad.

I can’t help thinking that I should have left before it came to this. I’ve always known what I need to do. I should have just done it.

Maybe we can win this battle. I really don’t know. But what about afterwards? I’m guessing this is only a battle and not the whole war.

Thanouq is giving his generals some last orders—he’s such a control freak. It was decided—in the all-night strategy session that finished only minutes ago—that he and Zayne would be of more use in the air. So, he’ll be in griffin form. Therion is going to be in overall charge of the ground troops.

I look around and spot Zayne leaning against a wall close by and looking a little green. I head over and wrap my arms around him and give him a big hug. He hugs me back, and I sigh. Our relationship has been a little strained recently while he comes to terms with the idea that I’m a cold-blooded killer.

Finally, I take a deep breath and step back. He looks me up and down.

“Nice outfit.”

I’m in full armor. A present from Hecate—apparently she’s been making it, especially for me, since I arrived in Valandria the first time. I peer down at myself and grimace, though secretly, I think I look pretty cool and a whole lot badass.

The armor is a blend of celestial silver and obsidian black. There’s a silver chest plate, shaped to my form, edged in black filigree—the symbol of an alicorn etched over my heart. The metal seems to shift subtly in the light, almost as if it’s alive, and it’s engraved with runes—some inlaid with starlight, others dark and pulsing.

The whole thing is sleek, form-fitting but built for speed and flexibility—not bulky, yet strong enough to take a hit.

As I stripped off and dressed in it, it felt like I was putting on my fate, like I was finally stepping fully into my destiny. There’s no turning back now. “Thank you,” I say to Zayne. “You look pretty spiffy yourself.”

He’s dressed in the uniform of Thanouq’s personal guard. Silver and black armor with a griffin on the breastplate.

We’d both said our goodbyes to Josh earlier. You know…just in case. Winter is not taking part in the battle, so she’s goingto keep him company. She’s assisting at the healers—they’re probably going to need all the help they can get. Josh can run errands. It will keep him busy and out of trouble.

“Are you ready?” Thanouq says from behind me. I turn and my gaze goes immediately to the man at his side. Khaosti is wearing armor as well. His is all black. He holds himself like a soldier. I’m not sure what I mean by that except he looks at home in the armor and ready to fight, to kill. He catches my gaze, and a slow smile curls his full lips. I scowl.

We haven’t had a chance to discuss the whole “mate” thing—all night strategy sessions will get in the way of that sort of thing—but there’s a smugness to him which hints to me that he’s not entirely unhappy with the idea of being tied to me for eternity. Which is crazy, considering he’s been keeping his distance—at least emotionally and sexually—since we got him out of prison. Something has changed his mind. Maybe he thinks we have a blessing from the gods. Or maybe he thinks if it’s fated then he doesn’t have to do the honorable thing and keep his wolfy paws off me because he’s poison.

“Amber?” Thanouq prompts me. I’d forgotten he was there.

“Sorry,” I say turning to give him my full attention. “I was…”

“Eye-fucking the asshole,” Zayne mutters. But he sounds resigned more than anything.

Thanouq’s eyes narrow, his gaze darting between me and Khaos. But he doesn’t comment. I guess he has bigger things on his mind today than his potential queen eye-balling another man. “Are you ready?”

No.

Thanouq wants me to lead the army out of the city side by side with him…in alicorn form. I don’t like pushing the whole ‘I’m-a-goddess’ agenda. I don’t feel like a goddess. But he pointed out that his men need all the hope they can get and seeing the alicorn will make them believe that Selene is on their side.

Who am I to deny anyone hope? Especially as there’s a good chance a lot of them will die today.

So I pull up my big girl panties and nod. Stepping a little farther away from Zayne, I will the change to come over myself. Magic tingles in the air, little stars bursting all around me, and a few seconds later, my alicorn stands in my place. I’ll have to think of a name for her—like Khaosti and Fury.