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“It?”

“Why you’re hiding up here all alone. You’re even missing dinner.”

“I’m not alone. You’re with me.” Then I shrug. “I was contemplating running away to join a circus.”

“What’s a circus?”

“Never mind.” I sigh. “I’d probably make a crap clown anyway. What about you? How’s the impending war going?”

I feel him shrug beside me. “I suspect we have no chance unless something changes drastically. We get word daily of the armies amassing on our borders. They already far outnumber us and that’s without the shadowguard. We need something else if we are going to have any hope of surviving, never mind winning this war.”

He means me. And I get that overwhelming feeling of inadequacy that makes my stomach clench and brings acid to the back of my throat. I feel like a fraud. I wash it away with brandy and then say, “I don’t think I can be what you need. You need a backup plan.”

He’s silent for a moment. “Do you know the hope you gave my people when you galloped toward the city. You were so beautiful, black wings outspread, golden horn tossing. You were a gift from the gods. The prophecy, come to life.”

I’m not a gift from the gods. I’m a woman. Actually, I’m not even that. I’m a girl on the brink of womanhood. “Hope won’t save us,” I say. “You need something else, because I don’t know what to do.”

I must sound pretty pathetic because he reaches out and takes my hand and squeezes. “I’m sorry. I meant to cheer you up, not bring you down.”

I take another swallow. “I’m feeling more cheerful by the minute.”

“Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you since you got here, but the time has never been right.”

That sounds serious. I want to say that the time isn’t right now, but I’m also intrigued. “Go on…”

He gets to his feet. Definitely serious, so I get up as well, still clutching my bottle and we face each other. I look up because otherwise, I’m staring at his chest and that’s just rude.

He takes my free hand. “I think we should marry. I would like to make you my queen.”

Unfortunately, I’d just taken another mouthful of brandy, and I spew it out as I choke. What a waste. But I really wasn’t expecting a proposal—like not in a million years. At least I manage to miss Thanouq.

“Er…” Okay, I have zero clue what to say. So I have another drink instead. The brandy is really good.

“I’ve taken you by surprise,” he says.

No kidding.

“But if you think about it, it’s an excellent idea.”

I think about it, but no… I’m not sure “excellent” covers it. But I don’t want to offend him. I like Thanouq. Part of me wishes that I could be really excited about this, and I could say yes and marry him, and we would live happily ever after. But this isn’t that sort of story. So I settle for saying, “Why?”

I wait for him to say something like he’s madly in love with me, he can’t live without me, he wants to make mad passionate love to me all day, every day. Of course that doesn’t happen.

“It would be politically expedient.”

I sigh—how romantic. “It would?”

He frowns. “You’ve been shut in with Hecate since you got here, so I suspect you have no idea of what is happening in the city. But you’re all everyone is talking about. The goddess has returned to us.”

I take another swig of brandy; sadly, the bottle is nearly empty. “I’m no goddess.”

He flashes me a smile. “I’m aware of that.” Then the smile turns to a frown as he studies me. “But you are something. I’m just not sure what yet. But a marriage between us would give my people hope. Hope that they badly need right now.”

Maybe this is the time to tell Thanouq exactly who my dad is. That would likely put a rapid end to this proposal. But I can’t face it right now. Soon.

I sway slightly as I consider what to say and he gently takes the bottle from my hand. He raises it to his mouth and drains it. Maybe he’s a little nervous about proposing. It must be hard for him, putting himself out there like that. He sets the bottle down and takes my other hand. “I know this sounds cold and businesslike, but I thought that’s how you would prefer it.” He reaches up and strokes my cheek. “But you must know that I want you.” He stares into my eyes. “I told you once before that I would kiss you again.”

Yeah, but he’d also said he wanted me sober, and I’m pretty sure that’s not the case right now. But I’m curious as to where this is going. And maybe after Khaosti’s rejection earlier, I really could do with a little positive affirmation that I’m a desirable woman right now.