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I imagined myself as the same until my muscles once more relaxed, and I turned my mind to the party taking place that evening.
Ash would probably ask to cancel our plans, but I wouldn’t allow it. He needed something to occupy his mind, to bring a smile to his face. A reminder that life continued on outside impregnating Skylar, that there would be another night, another moment, to fulfill his dreams.
We had nothing but time.
But how could I make him slow down the train barreling us forward down a path I couldn’t see clearly?
Smooth jazz filtered throughout the house’s sound system, a quiet backdrop for hushed conversations and the mingling of our party guests.
As always, I’d dressed in a button-down and tie, and while comfortable on the outside, my insides weren’t so put together as my outward armor.
Ash stood beside me, gorgeous as ever although a little pale.
Skylar had yet to make an appearance.
Ash pressed his fist into his sternum like he always did after a meal, and I frowned. We hadn’t yet eaten anything.
He’d been popping antacids the past couple of days, and I wondered if the stress of his obsessively trying to get Skylar pregnant had given him an ulcer.
The more I thought about it, the more I expected my assumption was spot on.
An ulcer had wrecked him years earlier when we’d been nearing the finish line of the Missing Link app when we’d both been stressed out.
Same as then—fuck, as anytime I saw Ash in pain—longing to ease him drew me in like a magnet.
I slid my arm around his waist and tugged him against my side, wishing I could make him smile like Skylar did.
“Okay?” I whispered against his ear.
A shiver slid over him from my tender touch, and he sagged against me.
Relief rushed through my body, lust jolting straight to my dick.
I hadn’t felt that in…
Fuck.
Since that rough taking over my desk, I hadn’t reached out to my love to offer comfort or affection. Not one single fucking time.
Asshole.
“I’m fine.” Ash’s quiet answer did nothing to reassure me in the least or ease the unrest returning to tighten my guts.
“You look sexy as fuck in that color,” I reminded him like I always did of the olive button-down that pulled out the green in his hazel eyes.
He smiled up at me, but the usual happiness a social party, regardless of its reserved guests, brought to his face didn’t make an appearance.
“Sorry if I’ve been distant,” I murmured, tracing a finger over his jawline, wishing I could lock us away from the world and love on him until he passed out in my arms.
Ash leaned into my touch, his eyelashes fluttering closed. A heavy sigh lifted then relaxed his shoulders. “Everything is going to be fine,” he whispered, but it sounded like he assured himself rather than accepting my apology.
Introspection always hit Ash hardest during the anniversary of his brother’s death or on their birthday, so rather than poke and stir up emotions, I squeezed him a little tighter and kissed his temple.
Tonight, I told myself. Once everyone left us in peace, I would get him alone and remind us both of the closeness we’d lost due to my being a selfish prick.
Skylar appeared at the bottom of the steps in a little black dress that accentuated her curves and set her hair on fire. The disappointment over getting her period that morning seemed to have faded completely. No makeup painted her face, but she seized my lungs for a second with how she smiled, her eyes flitting around our household full of designer clothes and jewels.
Ash didn’t rush to her side as I’d expected. He lingered in my hold, even though I knew he’d caught sight of her with how his body tensed like mine did.