Page 117
Story: Desiring an Angel
“I—I know that, but I can’t help how I feel.” She smiled as a tear slid down her cheek.
“And I won’t attempt to negate those feelings,” I assured her, my eyes stinging at making a right choice in saying that—hopefully the first good decision of many when it came to her. “But you must know Ash would never lay blame on you. He’s a firm believer in fate. We’ll take things one day at a time. Hell, one hour at a time. We’ll have answers soon, then we can plan a course of action. Ash will have the best care no matter the diagnosis. Money isn’t an issue, and I can work remotely for as long as necessary to help make sure he’s comfortable.”
“I’ll do whatever you need me to,” Skylar said. “Quit my job and be his full-time nurse. I can drive him to every appointment. I’m going to be there for you too.” Her hold on my hand tightened. “We’ve gotten off to a rough start, but I haven’t given up on you yet, Rhett Stirling. It’ll take a lot more than negativity and poor choices to make me turn my back on you.”
I noted the flash of pain in her eyes. “You had a lot of that in your childhood, didn’t you?”
She blew out a heavy exhale. “You have no idea.”
“Book smarts aren’t everything,” I stated quietly, leaning forward to emphasize my words. “I’d rather listen to your ramblings that keep my brain on my toes than suffer through most of our acquaintances going on and on about their latest accomplishments.
“You’re a breath of fresh air,” I added, “and I’m sorry for not allowing myself to like you or tell you that before today.”
“Sometimes it takes tragedy to open our eyes to what’s truly important in life,” she said. “Do I want Ashton to be sick or face death?” Her voice broke, but she lifted her chin and barreled forward. “Absolutely not, but I think all things happen for a reason. Fate has led us here to this moment in time, and I’m going to accept the outcome and grow from it regardless of whatever our emotions drag us through.”
“You’re very brave,” I murmured, loving the fire in her eyes.
“I’m a dreamer,” Skylar attempted to correct me, but I shook my head.
“It takes courage to face the future without a plan—and that’s something I don’t have.” I untangled my fingers from hers and re-laced them once more in a different pattern, squeezing tight. “Will you let me hold your hand when I need to?”
“I’ll always be here for you,” she whispered and smiled.
Her promise flooded me with hope, not just for Ash’s diagnosis but for the future ahead of us.
41
Skylar
Rhett’s smile trembled, and I yearned to leap over the table and hug him tight, to soothe all his worries away.
“I’m getting a little antsy to head back upstairs,” Rhett said, glancing toward the cafeteria’s exit.
I couldn’t help my grin since I understood that statement all too well. Ashton had sent me to Rhett to offer comfort, and I felt we’d accomplished more in our short minutes together than we’d done since he’d first faced me in the kitchen.
Even then, I’d thought him gorgeous, all stoic and untouchable, a man who didn’t want to be tampered with. But the one with the unshuttered gaze full of helplessness and vulnerability gazing at me across the table?
Heart-wrenchingly beautiful in a way that hurt my chest and stole my breath.
He’d been broken down completely, any walls he’d built to keep me at arm’s length demolished by the situation we found ourselves in with our shared lover.
No, I didn’t want to see Ash hurt. I hated he feared facing death like his brother had.
But…
Oh, that sometimes glorious word allowed for greater meaning in circumstances, greater reward, greater end results from potential devastation.
I clung to hope same as I did to Rhett’s hand as we made our way back toward Ashton’s room. If I’d been able to, I’d have wrapped Rhett up in my arms like he’d done with me in the hallway, exactly as I had for Ashton on Saturday morning when I’d gotten my period.
Even if Ashton did have cancer, we would have a little bit of time to try again. There was always test-tube baby type stuff…I wasn’t positive how all that worked, but surely the doctors could get his sperm while he was still somewhat healthy and somehow impregnate me.
At least, I’d heard about that sort of thing on the news, and I thought my cousin had tried something like that. They’d spent thousands, going through their savings.
They never got their baby though, just an empty bank account.
Lips tight, I refused to think about the negative. Ashton had told me they owned Missing Link, and to see their house, their cars, and fancy watches…there would be no shortage of money in getting a baby inside me if it could be afforded.
But how did it work?
“And I won’t attempt to negate those feelings,” I assured her, my eyes stinging at making a right choice in saying that—hopefully the first good decision of many when it came to her. “But you must know Ash would never lay blame on you. He’s a firm believer in fate. We’ll take things one day at a time. Hell, one hour at a time. We’ll have answers soon, then we can plan a course of action. Ash will have the best care no matter the diagnosis. Money isn’t an issue, and I can work remotely for as long as necessary to help make sure he’s comfortable.”
“I’ll do whatever you need me to,” Skylar said. “Quit my job and be his full-time nurse. I can drive him to every appointment. I’m going to be there for you too.” Her hold on my hand tightened. “We’ve gotten off to a rough start, but I haven’t given up on you yet, Rhett Stirling. It’ll take a lot more than negativity and poor choices to make me turn my back on you.”
I noted the flash of pain in her eyes. “You had a lot of that in your childhood, didn’t you?”
She blew out a heavy exhale. “You have no idea.”
“Book smarts aren’t everything,” I stated quietly, leaning forward to emphasize my words. “I’d rather listen to your ramblings that keep my brain on my toes than suffer through most of our acquaintances going on and on about their latest accomplishments.
“You’re a breath of fresh air,” I added, “and I’m sorry for not allowing myself to like you or tell you that before today.”
“Sometimes it takes tragedy to open our eyes to what’s truly important in life,” she said. “Do I want Ashton to be sick or face death?” Her voice broke, but she lifted her chin and barreled forward. “Absolutely not, but I think all things happen for a reason. Fate has led us here to this moment in time, and I’m going to accept the outcome and grow from it regardless of whatever our emotions drag us through.”
“You’re very brave,” I murmured, loving the fire in her eyes.
“I’m a dreamer,” Skylar attempted to correct me, but I shook my head.
“It takes courage to face the future without a plan—and that’s something I don’t have.” I untangled my fingers from hers and re-laced them once more in a different pattern, squeezing tight. “Will you let me hold your hand when I need to?”
“I’ll always be here for you,” she whispered and smiled.
Her promise flooded me with hope, not just for Ash’s diagnosis but for the future ahead of us.
41
Skylar
Rhett’s smile trembled, and I yearned to leap over the table and hug him tight, to soothe all his worries away.
“I’m getting a little antsy to head back upstairs,” Rhett said, glancing toward the cafeteria’s exit.
I couldn’t help my grin since I understood that statement all too well. Ashton had sent me to Rhett to offer comfort, and I felt we’d accomplished more in our short minutes together than we’d done since he’d first faced me in the kitchen.
Even then, I’d thought him gorgeous, all stoic and untouchable, a man who didn’t want to be tampered with. But the one with the unshuttered gaze full of helplessness and vulnerability gazing at me across the table?
Heart-wrenchingly beautiful in a way that hurt my chest and stole my breath.
He’d been broken down completely, any walls he’d built to keep me at arm’s length demolished by the situation we found ourselves in with our shared lover.
No, I didn’t want to see Ash hurt. I hated he feared facing death like his brother had.
But…
Oh, that sometimes glorious word allowed for greater meaning in circumstances, greater reward, greater end results from potential devastation.
I clung to hope same as I did to Rhett’s hand as we made our way back toward Ashton’s room. If I’d been able to, I’d have wrapped Rhett up in my arms like he’d done with me in the hallway, exactly as I had for Ashton on Saturday morning when I’d gotten my period.
Even if Ashton did have cancer, we would have a little bit of time to try again. There was always test-tube baby type stuff…I wasn’t positive how all that worked, but surely the doctors could get his sperm while he was still somewhat healthy and somehow impregnate me.
At least, I’d heard about that sort of thing on the news, and I thought my cousin had tried something like that. They’d spent thousands, going through their savings.
They never got their baby though, just an empty bank account.
Lips tight, I refused to think about the negative. Ashton had told me they owned Missing Link, and to see their house, their cars, and fancy watches…there would be no shortage of money in getting a baby inside me if it could be afforded.
But how did it work?
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