Page 66
Story: Desiring an Angel
My lover fought a losing battle, I assured myself when he closed his eyes and moaned around his first bite of breakfast.
The coconut twist wouldn’t have been my first choice, but Sky’s attention to pleasing him clicked all my buttons. I would gladly gorge on coconut everything if it meant she eventually won his heart.
Rhett went into the office downtown but told me to take the day and help Skylar find a job. He spoke as though he wanted her gone as soon as possible, but with the many limits she had—no car and no savings—I knew it would be a long time before she could afford to live on her own.
Sure, I could have easily have offered a loan to get her set, but that wouldn’t allow her time to be all up in Rhett’s space and break him down.
Considering her short work history, even I wondered over the skimpy resume we pieced together. No matter the exaggerated wording about customer service skills on paper, Skylar had no chance of landing anything other than a basic, entry-level job like high schoolers managed.
“Would you be open to seeing a doctor about your ADHD?” I asked as we headed to a small restaurant for lunch after filling out applications at most of the mall’s stores.
“I don’t have insurance, and I don’t need a label beyond idiot.”
I yanked my focus off the road to find her frowning. “It’s a neurodevelopmental disorder, Sky.”
“I’m well aware—I’ve read everything I could get my hands on. Struggling to focus on definitions, symptoms, and diagnosis has been proof enough I have issues.”
“If you’ve read all that, then you know it’s possible to manage.”
“This is who I am!” she burst out, angling toward me and waving a hand around herself. “I-I thought you liked me—now you’re talking like you want me to change to better fit the image of that angel you want. Well, I’m no angel. I’m a damn mess.” Tears clogged her throat, and I cursed myself for causing her outburst.
“I don’t want to change you,” I assured her. “But you said you hate how antsy your feet get, how you wish you could focus beyond mundane tasks that you enjoy. There’s medication that can help—and it won’t alter who you are, Sky. No drug is going to take away your sparkle, the light and joy you bring into people’s lives.”
“Not all persons,” she muttered, turning to stare out the passenger window.
“Their loss,” I hastened to correct her negative thought. “And if people can’t appreciate your sunshine, then you’re better off without them.”
“Rhett doesn’t enjoy my type of sunshine.”
A slow exhale sagged me into the driver seat as I pulled into a diner’s parking lot. “Because he’s never had it. Delightful happiness is something he doesn’t understand or know how to process. His emotions are so damn repressed…” I shook my head, my heart aching over the inner wounds he hadn’t yet learned to overcome.
The one time I’d suggested speaking with a therapist, he’d revealed his annoyance easily—and vocally. Not one for confrontation, I’d accepted the line he set in front of me and hadn’t spoken of it again.
But his outburst had been proof those emotions he kept bottled up needed exorcised—by someone exactly like the woman sitting beside me. I felt sure Sky was the perfect chisel to breach his heart—or perhaps the flame to ignite the keg waiting to explode.
He had shown me his love, his unbridled passion, countless times in bed, but I rarely caught glimpses outside sex.
Bed.
The one place Rhett allowed vulnerability.
He hadn’t been pleased with himself initiating sex that morning, but he’d been caught up in desire. We just needed to get him there and often, show him how lowering his walls would lend to breaking down his stoic life.
I parked, and Sky grabbed my forearm before I could climb from the car.
“I’m sorry for my outburst.”
“There’s no need to apologize for your emotions,” I reminded her. “I understand your sensitivity—but I promise you, you’re not alone, and the last name I would ever call you is an idiot.” I cupped her cheek, and she leaned into my touch, her eyes closing. “You’re beautiful just the way you are, Sky. I wouldn’t change a thing—but I want you to be comfortable with yourself, to be happier. I think seeing a doctor and getting recommendations on how to regulate some of the tics you dislike about yourself will only add to your life. Not take away from.”
She nodded. “You’re right. I…I’ve just been called so many names—”
“Wouldn’t you rather have a medical diagnosis than ignorant people’s labels?”
“Yes.” She opened her eyes, wetness causing the green of her orbs to intensify.
“You’re so very beautiful—inside and out. I’ll never stop saying it until you believe it.”
Sky opened her mouth but slammed it shut in a rare display of self-control.
The coconut twist wouldn’t have been my first choice, but Sky’s attention to pleasing him clicked all my buttons. I would gladly gorge on coconut everything if it meant she eventually won his heart.
Rhett went into the office downtown but told me to take the day and help Skylar find a job. He spoke as though he wanted her gone as soon as possible, but with the many limits she had—no car and no savings—I knew it would be a long time before she could afford to live on her own.
Sure, I could have easily have offered a loan to get her set, but that wouldn’t allow her time to be all up in Rhett’s space and break him down.
Considering her short work history, even I wondered over the skimpy resume we pieced together. No matter the exaggerated wording about customer service skills on paper, Skylar had no chance of landing anything other than a basic, entry-level job like high schoolers managed.
“Would you be open to seeing a doctor about your ADHD?” I asked as we headed to a small restaurant for lunch after filling out applications at most of the mall’s stores.
“I don’t have insurance, and I don’t need a label beyond idiot.”
I yanked my focus off the road to find her frowning. “It’s a neurodevelopmental disorder, Sky.”
“I’m well aware—I’ve read everything I could get my hands on. Struggling to focus on definitions, symptoms, and diagnosis has been proof enough I have issues.”
“If you’ve read all that, then you know it’s possible to manage.”
“This is who I am!” she burst out, angling toward me and waving a hand around herself. “I-I thought you liked me—now you’re talking like you want me to change to better fit the image of that angel you want. Well, I’m no angel. I’m a damn mess.” Tears clogged her throat, and I cursed myself for causing her outburst.
“I don’t want to change you,” I assured her. “But you said you hate how antsy your feet get, how you wish you could focus beyond mundane tasks that you enjoy. There’s medication that can help—and it won’t alter who you are, Sky. No drug is going to take away your sparkle, the light and joy you bring into people’s lives.”
“Not all persons,” she muttered, turning to stare out the passenger window.
“Their loss,” I hastened to correct her negative thought. “And if people can’t appreciate your sunshine, then you’re better off without them.”
“Rhett doesn’t enjoy my type of sunshine.”
A slow exhale sagged me into the driver seat as I pulled into a diner’s parking lot. “Because he’s never had it. Delightful happiness is something he doesn’t understand or know how to process. His emotions are so damn repressed…” I shook my head, my heart aching over the inner wounds he hadn’t yet learned to overcome.
The one time I’d suggested speaking with a therapist, he’d revealed his annoyance easily—and vocally. Not one for confrontation, I’d accepted the line he set in front of me and hadn’t spoken of it again.
But his outburst had been proof those emotions he kept bottled up needed exorcised—by someone exactly like the woman sitting beside me. I felt sure Sky was the perfect chisel to breach his heart—or perhaps the flame to ignite the keg waiting to explode.
He had shown me his love, his unbridled passion, countless times in bed, but I rarely caught glimpses outside sex.
Bed.
The one place Rhett allowed vulnerability.
He hadn’t been pleased with himself initiating sex that morning, but he’d been caught up in desire. We just needed to get him there and often, show him how lowering his walls would lend to breaking down his stoic life.
I parked, and Sky grabbed my forearm before I could climb from the car.
“I’m sorry for my outburst.”
“There’s no need to apologize for your emotions,” I reminded her. “I understand your sensitivity—but I promise you, you’re not alone, and the last name I would ever call you is an idiot.” I cupped her cheek, and she leaned into my touch, her eyes closing. “You’re beautiful just the way you are, Sky. I wouldn’t change a thing—but I want you to be comfortable with yourself, to be happier. I think seeing a doctor and getting recommendations on how to regulate some of the tics you dislike about yourself will only add to your life. Not take away from.”
She nodded. “You’re right. I…I’ve just been called so many names—”
“Wouldn’t you rather have a medical diagnosis than ignorant people’s labels?”
“Yes.” She opened her eyes, wetness causing the green of her orbs to intensify.
“You’re so very beautiful—inside and out. I’ll never stop saying it until you believe it.”
Sky opened her mouth but slammed it shut in a rare display of self-control.
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